Tumblr Humor #137

*A common question that straight people like to ask gay people is, when they found out they were gay, or how did they find out.  I love all these snarky, horrible, answers to such an intrusive question. After all, the opposite, when did you find out when you were straight, is apparently not considered a legitimate question. I highlighted my personal favorites.

anonymousasked:

How are you lgbt?

rnashallahanswered:

I sent an application in and got accepted

I got in through one of those recruitment drives they keep holding

I collected the box tops and turned them in. Just paid separate shipping and handling.

I forgot to uncheck a box when I was installing something.

i found a rainbow ticket inside a chocolate bar

A bird flew up and handed me a letter.

I was the one billionth customer.

Sorting hat.

went into a home depot on Pride weekend and it was a door prize

like, weird, but okay

I forgot to install an adblocker and got a pop up on a website that congratulated me on being LGBT

I successfully forwarded a chain e-mail to ten LGBTQIA+ friends in the allotted amount of time.

It was hidden in the extra fees on my phone plan.

Scratch off tickets

Kinda got stuck on my cable bill one month

It’s one of the benefits included in salary packaging

Honestly it just followed me home? It’s not like I fed it or anything it just showed up and never left.

Found it tucked into the back of a library book.

weird contaminants in the stream, that one campout.

It was in the sauce at the Bunnings sausage sizzle.  Or maybe the onion.

I downloaded the app.

i deleted the (different) app. best mistake i ever made. 😀

I woke up one morning to find the queerfairy had visited.

A friend gave it to me as a “happy divorce” present.

Melissa Etheridge gave me a toaster.

God sent an angel and the glory of the Lord was upon me.

One of those really fancy Christmas crackers. All my sister got was a wine charm, hah.

Look, the landlord left a lot of random crap here when we moved in that he doesn’t want and that really aren’t household essentials, and the stuff I liked I’m keeping, OK?

Found mine in one of those prize packets in a box of Fruit Loops.

Tried being straight but it gave me indigestion so I decided what the hell, I’ll give bi a try.

Add your own text, if you like
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*lim·i·nal space
1. relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process
2.occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.
Tumblr is full of people telling odd and frightening stories aobut the paranormal, and inexplicable. This is about people’s adventures at highway rest stops, the ultimate limnal space, which is neither here, nor there, and one its like for people for whom that space is not limnal, but their actual destination.

when-it-rains-it-snows:

newt-skamander:

silverybeing:

I’ve been thinking about liminal spaces a bit tonight. And truck/rest stops are often considered to be liminal spaces. Having family a few states over, I’m no stranger to family road trips and, by extension rest stops. There is one thing about them that I’ve thought about for years.

People work there.

There are people who are not just passing through, but show up day after day, clock in, work for hours, and then go home. Where do they live? What are they like? Are these liminal spaces no longer liminal for them? Its a set destination for them now.

What sort of weird shit do they see every day that they just sigh and return to mopping the floor? The unusual that is just another day on the job. That weird otherworldiness at 3am but whatever I’m on a break. 

Perhaps they are immune to the effects of the passing spirits mixing with the mundane, cause how can you be in a liminal space if its your job? Maybe they are special caretakers that keeps the spirits moving on their way, giving directions to things no one else is supposed to see.

Either way they aren’t paid enough to deal with this shit.

so i work at a highway servo in a small rural town and i’ve done so for about a year. and 100% the creepy shit doesn’t stop, but you do sort of become resigned to it. like in the beginning i once screamed because saw myself in the mirror behind the milk and thought it was not me. but here’s some stuff i guess:

we keep the doors locked because crime exists so they make a beep sound when someone’s waiting to enter, but the amount of times i have checked the monitor and there has been nothing and no one there is not enough to say ‘general sensory problem’ but just enough for my anxious personality to be wary of the ghosts.

occasionally i discover large strange bugs i have never seen before that apparently only exist in the dead of a hot summer night. i also watch a lot of spiders crawl across the outside cameras.

once a man came in around 2am – no car, just wandered off the highway – and took every sausage roll and walked out without paying. which okay, theft happens. but he did it, looking into my eyes, and did not say a word as i called after him. he just walked in calmly, looked into my soul, remained entirely silent, and casually robbed the place. i was shook.

a cousin of mine who had been missing for three months once showed up.

and there’s this totally dead period between 3 and 5 where i usually mop the floors. which is why its weird when i find footsteps in my clean floors after ive finished.

plus, time passes differently in the freezer room . i fill up four full fridges worth of coke and red bull and other assorted soft drinks in fifteen minutes – like i’m not trying that hard its really not possible. and i know that because when i do the three fridges that cant be filled from behind, it takes me more like forty minutes or more.

i get strange customers who come in asking for directions with out-dated melways who don’t own phones and seem misplaced in time somehow but are always so very thankful. sometimes they ask for directions to places ive never heard even tho i’ve lived in the area my entire life.

or i get the same person at the same time to get the same thing every day. they have the same greeting and we have the same conversation like we’re stuck in a time loop. these pod people always come between 4 and 5am.

and i can safely say, you will never know fear until there is a 3am power outage in a storm and you are blanketed in absolute darkness so suddenly your heart stops beating. and then you have been outside in said storm taking out the rubbish and become soaked through like a drowned rat with only the weird glow of ur phone light with a painful 3% battery life to guide you.

overall its just a strange environment: deathly silent, with flickering fluorescent lights and grime in the back store that no matter how hard i try to clean never comes away and footsteps in the newly moped floor even tho there hasn’t been a customer and this room at the back entirely empty save only for ancient promotional material for products i’ve never heard of that makes me feel uneasy.

can absolutely confirm all of this. once upon a job I worked in a subway in the back of a truck stop named ‘the general lee.’ there was a tiny civil war museum in the back, by the subway – shelves of bullets and a powder horn and such. the tables had newspaper clippings under a thick coat of ancient yellowed resin and I couldn’t tell you a single thing any of them said because every time I wiped down the tables the articles were unfamiliar.

the subway replaced a chicken restaurant. I was assured that the restaurant was terrible and the huge black piece of corrugated steel in the back room covered the grease pit. why would even an awful chicken restaurant have a grease pit in the middle of the floor?? Boss told me once that the fry cook got paid a quarter for every rat he killed and one night he got five bucks.
anyway these dudes would come in off the road and be PISSED to find a subway and zero fried chicken. I’d be like dude, chicken place been gone for years, man. y e a r s. every one of these men would snarl that they’d just been through here just the other week and had chicken. everybody that worked there had that story. i still wonder who was in the liminal space, the chicken men or the midnight shift.

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*Actually this was a casting call for a black cat to star in a televsion show, but its certainly a very surreal image, that just cries out to be captioned. Were the leashes required? Andwhy are there almost no men in this picture? And why do all the cats seem so calm?

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*I’m going to continue to place introvert memes here:

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*This is one of those story prompts that makes your imagination run wild. I loved this. What happens if you give the demons more elaborate lunches? Do you get more and better stuff?

While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally make a magical occult symbol and summon a demon.

You silently take two more slices of bread out of the package and make another sandwich. You put it on a plate with a handful of potato chips and hand it to the demon. He takes the sandwich, smiles and vanishes in a puff of demonic smoke. The next day you get that job promotion you were after. There was no contract. No words spoken. You owe nothing. But every now and then, another demon pops in for lunch. Demons don’t often get homemade sandwiches.

 

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I do really hate that Captain Peanut commercial. I;m not entirely sure why but I think its the idea of a peanut wearing a monocle. I’m always reminded of The Rockefellers. Uhm, yeah…how are his pants legs being held up?

Image result for mr peanut

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*I’m always here for Superman headcanons. Here we have Slacker Superman-Batman Slash!

Okay but hear me out…what if Clark Kent and Superman WEREN’T the same person?

What if they were twins, separated at birth. And Clark was the twin sent to Earth to survive Krypton’s destruction, found in a cornfield, raised by Ma and Pa Kent who went on to grow up, go to Metropolis, become a reporter.

And Superman was the twin sent to idk, some other alien planet to survive Krypton’s destruction, raised in a non Earth like environment or culture, who grew up to journey to Earth in search of his twin, the only family he had left in the universe, goes to Metropolis, becomes a superhero. Look, he needed something to do besides search the entire planet for his twin with superspeed, that could take all week.

I’m not entirely sure what happens next or how the initial meeting between them goes, but the point of all this is, skip to the part where his twin has nowhere else to live but some crystal castle at the North Pole. Leading farmboy raised Clark Kent to do the polite thing and invite his sibling from another star system to stay with him. Cut to Clark’s superhero twin slumming it at his place, crashing on his couch for way longer than Clark expected, and when he casually ‘suggests’ Superman get out of the house more, see what the world has to offer, like, you know….employment opportunities, Superman doesn’t get why its a problem to wear Clark’s clothes and Clark’s glasses and walk around town calling himself Clark and causing all sorts of confusion thanks to his wildly different life experiences and values.

And then, AND THEN, it gets worse, see, because of course Superman had to go and join Earth’s superhero club, the Justice League, and he still doesn’t even have his own phone so he just gives them Clark’s number for when they want to get in touch with him. So Clark’s got Green Lantern calling him at 3 am to track down Superman, and half the League is under the impression he and his brother are actually the same person and so just give him these amused, patronizing little smirks when they run into him every time Lex Luthor tries to destroy the Daily Planet and he has to explain to Flash yet again that NO SERIOUSLY, I AM NOT SUPERMAN, I AM JUST HIS TWIN BROTHER, I SWEAR.

And then one time Batman, the freaking Batman SHOWS UP AT HIS PLACE when Clark is in the shower, and after Clark’s done screaming, the Dark Knight simply hands him a towel and a flash drive and intones “Interesting. You both have the same birthmark, just in different places. Please give this to your brother, the fate of the world depends on it.”

Which begs the question, how does the Caped Crusader know what his brother’s birthmark looks like? He asks Superman, while the latter is hunched over a bowl of cereal (Clark’s cereal, he might add, since its not like Superman ever goes grocery shopping himself).

And Superman says “Oh, we’re – hmm. What’s the Earth word for enjoying the sexual behavior commonly associated with your ritual of dating, but without the emotional commitments usually expected to coincide?”

“Are you telling me that you and Batman are friends with benefits?”

Superman frowns. “No, that’s not it. I don’t think he even likes me, he just likes the sex.”

Well. That clears that up then. Clark excuses himself to go call his mom.

Televsion and Movie Meta Linkspam

For your reading pleasure this weekend:

 

Get Out (2017)

Wow, there is so much meta being written about Get Out that its hard to keep track of it all. (Do these writers know thats what they’re doing?)Everybody has something to say aobut this movie, even when they dont have anything to contribute. For the record, I have seen this movie and I loved it as much as I’ve loved anything on the Key and Peele show. (And no, I dont have much more to add to the discussions Ive already read.) If you’ve ever watched that show, than Get Out is not some huge surprise for you, as you are well aware of Jordan Peele’s Horror credentials. For example, his zombie spoof is pretty deep:

 

And this spoof of vampire tropes is hilarious:

I dont have anything to add since people pretty much have every topic covered:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-why-get-is-invasion-black-body-snatchers-trump-985449

http://io9.gizmodo.com/get-out-is-a-horror-movie-only-a-black-person-could-hav-1792781911

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/get-out-what-black-america-knows-about-the-sunken_us_58c199f8e4b0c3276fb7824a

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/lets-talk-about-all-the-amazing-little-details-in-get-o-1792781479

 

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997)

Its the 20 year anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and yep, people are writing about it. I was total trash for this show. I used to watch it like a religious duty, and even back then I was drafting meta, in my head, about this show. For the record, I hated the movie it was based on, and I was prepared to ignore the show. I watched it off and on for the first season. Then the internet started writing about it, and I really revved up my watching in the middle of season two, after Angel became evil. (I didn’t completely understand what was happening but I caught up fast.)

Buffy is also one of the most written about and talked about shows in television history. There are aabout a bajillion books, articles, and websites, devoted to parsing everything from the fashions, to the plot, to the characters and language. 

http://www.whedonstudies.tv/slayage-the-journal-of-whedon-studies.html

http://lithub.com/10-famous-writers-on-loving-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/03/the-body-the-radical-empathy-of-buffys-best-episode/519051/

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/03/how-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-redefined-tv-storytelling/519174/

http://www.vox.com/culture/2017/3/10/14857542/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-explained-tv-influence

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/mar/10/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-at-20-the-thrilling-brilliant-birth-of-tv-as-art

http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/08/buffy-the-vampire-slayer/

http://io9.gizmodo.com/10-vital-storytelling-lessons-i-learned-from-buffy-the-1766651082

http://io9.gizmodo.com/20-things-we-still-love-about-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-1793132161

http://www.vulture.com/2017/03/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-twenty-years-greatest-legacy.html

 

Logan (2017)

I did go see Logan, as I promised. I was going to write a review, but a lot of people have  already written about the issues I would’ve covered in my review. It’s an excellent movie, btw, and  every bit as heartwrenching as you expect.

http://www.rogerebert.com/mzs/all-things-must-pass-the-emotional-reality-of-logan

http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/03/05/logan-the-things-we-leave-behind

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/why-we-needed-logan-to-kill-the-modern-superhero-movie-w470501

https://theringer.com/logan-and-conquering-pessimism-through-fatherhood-86d377ae85b9#.nsgel72hh

http://www.theverge.com/2017/3/6/14829768/logan-movie-wolverine-hugh-jackman-patrick-stewart-discussion-highs-lows

https://theringer.com/james-mangold-hugh-jackman-wolverine-logan-movie-review-1d5e5b9c5c93#.2oe0rp6ff

 

Moonlight (2016)

I haven’t seen this movie yet, but I’ve heard such wonderful things about it. I’ve seen a few clips come across my dash on Tumblr, which have me intrigued, and of course, it won Best Picture at the Oscar Awards.  I’ve made plans to watch the DVD soon, however.

Why I refuse to watch “Moonlight,” or any other film about race, with white people

View story at Medium.com

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/masculinity-and-moonlight-eight-black-men-dissect-barry-jenkins-momentous-film-1.3836460

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/21/moonlight-affirmation-gay-black-men-exist

http://www.mtv.com/news/2935326/moonlight-and-the-preservation-of-black-manhood/

https://contexts.org/blog/moonlight-trayvon-the-oscars-and-americas-fear-of-black-boys/

https://bitchmedia.org/article/shedding-moonlight-toxic-masculinity/problem-homophobia-not-gay-characters

 

Star Wars

http://www.kissmywonderwoman.com/2016/02/masculinity-monday-star-wars-finn-is.html

View story at Medium.com

A Hero, Just Not The Hero: Masculinity in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/columns/134072-lets-talk-about-finn-star-wars-the-force-awakens.html

 

Hidden Figures:

Yes, I’ve already seen this movie. I loved it, but as a long time Blerdgirl, I’m still processing my thoughts about it. I haven’t finished geeking out about it yet, but when I do, I’ll come back at you with some knowledge. Ideas are already percolating as I type.

http://latinasuprising.com/hidden-figures-feminism/

What’s Hiding Behind the Feel-Good Curtain of <i>Hidden Figures</i>: One Black Feminist’s Take

Taraji P Henson’s Hidden Figures is the intersectional feminist movie we need right now

ETA: This last link was removed because, while I have plenty of issues with feminism, I won’t tolerate any lying  MRA mansplaining bullshit on my blog.

 

Miscellaneous

http://www.chrisbrecheen.com/2012/06/8-things-prometheus-can-teach-you-about.html

https://clearancebinreview.com/2012/05/18/cinematic-soulmates-three-amigos-a-bugs-life-and-galaxy-quest/

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2015/10/pantomime-james-bond-reveals-tragedy-modern-white-masculinity

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rAM9EtJTHL_M6STjL7TyfUs9ew83v_fhYAlwI97hG5s/mobilebasic

 

The Frustrating Aftermath of #AAIronFist

Amen!

thenerdsofcolor

We are rapidly approaching the release of Iron Fist, the fourth Marvel series on Netflix, and reviews have been less than kind. When the show announced it had a (non-Asian American) showrunner, NOC re-introduced the hashtag #AAIronFist. It was an attempt to get Marvel to acknowledge that Iron Fist is a character whose origins are Asian, and should be played by a person of Asian descent, to increase representation in media.

For my part, I wrote an opinion piece about why we need an #AAIronFist. I submitted that being Asian, or even half-Asian, would give Danny Rand a depth to his character that we hadn’t seen before. The “stranger in a strange land” trope where the white man is the foreigner has been done to death, and is vaguely insulting. An 8-year old orphan comes to magical Asian land and becomes the ultimate martial artist?…

View original post 1,138 more words

Ghost in the Shell/Iron Fist Backfire

Fed-up fans turn ‘Ghost in the Shell’ meme generator against itself

The Major may be a cutting-edge cyborg capable of taking down even the most dangerous criminals, but even she’s no match for the withering disdain of the internet.

Ever since Paramount shared the first image of Scarlett Johansson as the Major in Ghost in the Shell, the film’s been under fire for its decision to whitewash the lead role, who is Japanese in the source material. So when the studio launched a viral campaign encouraging people to upload their own images and captions into a meme generator, some fed-up fans seized the opportunity to make their displeasure known.

And not only did Ghost in the Shell get a thorough roast, a few people made sure that Hollywood didn’t forget about Emma Stone and Iron Fist.

View image on Twitter

And then there’s the recent media implosion over Iron Fist, which got totally trashed by critics who were allowed to watch the first six episodes of the series.The actor Finn Jones, who plays Danny Rand, put his foot in his mouth both before and after the show’s debut and has now left Twitter after being dragged by the public.

‘Iron Fist’s Finn Jones Says He Left Twitter After Diversity Dust-Up To “Stay Focused” On Filming ‘The Defenders’

 

The Implosion of “Marvel’s Iron Fist” and Finn Jones Continues

Marvel’s Iron Fist Cultural Appropriation Casting Crisis Drives Finn Jones Off Twitter — What’s Going On?

Iron Fist actor leaves Twitter after confronting racial issues in series (update)

Yeah, I think someone needs to close their Twitter account and shut the Hell up before they dig a deeper hole.

Here’s the thing, if the public can’t get Hollywood casting agents, or moviemakers, to understand that we want more and better diversity and inclusion, then I guess the public is just going to shame the actors who contribute to the problem. Especially when those clueless actors go on social media to make excuses for what they just did.

Both Tilda Swinton and Scarlett Johansen have both made remarks about supporting diversity, and both of them were subsequently  roasted on Twitter, and Facebook. The bottom line is that actors are no longer getting a pass about their ignorance of these issues.

In the past, Hollywood actors have managed to get by by just speaking on some issue, without actually doing any of the real work, or being informed, and sometimes actually contributing to the perpetuation of said issue. Well, not anymore. From now on if an actor is going to talk about a social issue, they had better know what they’re talking about, and have put in the work on that issue. Its  simply not enough now to simply appear progressive and get points.

Unfortunately, the irony is that Hollywood is a conservative industry, and actors who speak out too much, or are too bold with their actions regarding social issues, can sometimes find themselves with the reputation for being troublemakers, and damaging their careers. I’m not saying they can’t have opinions, but they’re caught between the Scylla and Charybdis of the film industry and public opinion, and if they’re not A listers, they can’t serve both. They work in an industry that will allow them to be bold enough to speak out on things, if they have some amount of cache, but they can’t be too bold in their actions, or their careers will suffer.

This is the hole that people like ScarJo , and Finn Jones have fallen into. They’ve done something that genre fans do not approve of and have let them know it. At the same time, the actors can’t be too bold in their support of the issue by doing things like, trashing their own productions, or turning down roles.

As for Finn Jones, I don’t know what’s going to happen here. People are strongly objecting to his presence in this role, yet he is what we have. He’s what we’re going to be looking at in The Defenders, too, as don’t think he is going to be replaced.

As for one of the major arguments against casting an AA as Danny Rand:

Marvel did not seem to have any problem finding plenty of Asian Martial Artists to play villains in its productions. Casting Asians as Martial Artists because it might be stereotypical isn’t the problem. The problem is Marvel not wanting any of those Asian Martial Artists to be  heroic.

bigskydreaming:

LOL please skip that ‘Marvel just didn’t want to do the stereotypical Asian martial artist’ argument in regards to casting Danny Rand as white.

Like, if that were true….why would the rest of the cast be full of characters who are….Asian….martial artists???

Also, member that time Daredevil was filled with evil Asian ninjas?? Cuz I member.

And you’ll notice nobody was remotely concerned about casting a Cambodian actress to play Elektra, who has always been Greek in the comics. If not stereotyping Asians was such a concern for Marvel, why’d they go out of their way to make one of their only non-Asian ninja characters Asian? LOL.

And Elodie was AMAZING as Elektra, and there was nothing remotely stereotypical about her character at all, because shocking – that’s what happens when you don’t reduce or limit a character to one specific character trait. THAT’S the danger of stereotyping, and you don’t address that by denying characters access to something that’s actually legitimately a part of their cultural heritage and something they’d have every reason to pursue should they so desire. You just make sure they’re nuanced, three dimensional characters who have a lot more elements to them besides just the one stereotypical element. And Elektra was so much more than just her martial arts skills in Daredevil.

Like, Daredevil the show is heavily racist in a lot of ways, and a lot of that is tied up in their use of the Hand, Madame Gao and Nobu…..and that’s not because they’re mystical Asian ninjas. It’s because that’s ALL they are in Daredevil, that everything we know about those characters revolves around stereotypical characteristics with not much else besides that. And before people go ‘oh well they’re the villains, what do you expect’…..lmao pleeeeeeeeeeeeease. Compare what Marvel did with the Kingpin’s character in Season One to how they used Nobu in Season Two, not to mention Killgrave over in Jessica Jones. Marvel LOVES their nuanced, complicated villains, and yet for some reason, Nobu and Madame Gao remain just secretive Asian martial artists with vaguely defined mystical connections and whose motivations seem confined to uttering cryptic pronouncements but also drugs and taking over the world, we guess.

With Elektra, they actually bothered to breathe some life into her character and flesh her out beyond a two dimensional secretive ninja, and voila….suddenly, shockingly….she’s a full fledged character instead of a stereotype. Imagine that!

Asian American Danny Rand would only have been a stereotype if his characterization began and ended with ‘zen martial artist who barely talks because did we mention how zen he is’.

Of course, its not like this particular bullshit argument is new for Marvel. Remember how when Tilda Swinton was cast as the Ancient One instead of a Tibetan man, Marvel and the director both claimed it was because they were trying to stay away from Asian stereotypes?

And yet, in every still I ever saw from the movie, Tilda Swinton’s character (despite supposedly being Celtic, I heard?) has her head shaved and is wearing brightly colored garments traditionally associated with Tibetan monks in Western perceptions.

Like….umm….again….if you’re worried enough about stereotypes that you cast a white woman instead of the elder Tibetan monk seen in the comics….THEN WHY DID YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO EVOKE EVERY SINGLE STEREOTYPE ABOUT ASIAN MONKS WITH THE VISUALS YOU CHOSE FOR HER?

 

Random Subjects from Tumblr

*Now that television is getting used to the idea of interracial couples, its time for writers and creators to start moving away from the idea that interracial couples only consist of a white person with a PoC.

Prompted by [a question] about interracial couples in media, and the prevalence of White/PoC couples instead of PoC/PoC couples, I started a list of [Interracial Couples Without White People] in live action television. By the suggestion of an anonymous person, I’m opening three new lists.

Note I: If you send me a couple for the list, please tell me their ethnicity in your message.
Note II: the ethnicities listed below each pairing are those of the actors’, not the characters.
Note III: mixed-race, white passing actors are totally counted as long as they consider themselves non-white, even if the movies whitewashed their characters.

Interracial couples between PoC in movies

  • Hitch/Sara in Hitch.
    (Black American/Mixed Cuban latina)
  • Dom/Lettie in the Fast franchise.
    (Mixed Black/Mixed Dominican&Puerto-Rican latina)
  • Cinderella/Prince Christopher in Cinderella (1997).
    (Black American/Filipino)
  • Trish/Han in Romeo Must Die.
    (Black American/Chinese)
  • Mika/Raizo in Ninja Assassin.
    (Black British/South Korean)
  • Patience/Thomas in Catwoman.
    (Black American/Peruvian Mixed Latino)
  • Alonzo/Sara in Training Day.
    (Black American/ Mixed Cuban latina)
  • Demetrius/Mina in Mississippi Masala.
    (Black American/British Indian)
  • Marcus/Lucia in Our Family Wedding.
    (Black American/Mixed Honduran latina)
  • Ben/Emily in Seven Pounds.
    (Black American/Afro-Cuban&Puerto-Rican latina)
  • Jay/Audrey in Descendants.  
    (Mixed Japanese-Chinese-Korean-Blackfoot American/Mixed race*
    *she might be Afro-latina but she’s really only recently started getting substantial roles so there’s just not much on her)
  • Collins/Angel in Rent.
    (Black American/Puerto-Rican mixed latino)
  • James/Laura in Men In Black II.
    (Black American/Afro-Cuban&Puerto-Rican latina)
  • Adonis/Bianca in Creed.
    (Black American/Afro-Panamanian&Mexican latina)
  • Kay/Robby in The Sapphires.
    (Australian Aboriginal/Black American)
  • Dell/Talia in Larry Crowne.
    (Colombian mixed latino/Black South-African British*
    *they’re a background couple, but still!)
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Keep reading

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*This is a video from Al Jazeera on Japan’s suicide Crisis and how Buddhist Temples (and others) are attempting to combat this issue. 101 East is a series of videos, produced by the Al Jazeera network, covering various social issues across the Asian diaspora. Having had my own bouts with mental illness, the suicide crisis in Japan (and across the world) had always been of specific interest to me. People doing the work of suicide prevention are awesome and truly serving their fellow human beings.

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*So, what we have here are White people, who want to practice a closed ancestral religion, that only exists because of the atrocities that were committed by their ancestors, in the first place. Can I just chime in to say that’s a  horrible fucking idea? I’m not even a proponent of any of these religions and I can see that. And how rude is it to call on the ancestors of the people who once served, died, and were tortured and raped by your ancestors, to attempt to get them to do your bidding? Yeah, go for it if you want to fuck up your whole life and curse your family.

anonymous  asked:

So i was talking to a white witch about Haitan Vodou and they were promoting that white people should be able to practice it, after a long dicussion their conclusion to my points were “i hate white people” and that it’s basically okay to summon the ancestors of oppressed people by the oppressors because “not all white people have oppressive ancestors”

afrocentric-divination  answered:

If those white people have ancestors that weren’t oppressive (which is possible but very unlikely), then there is a chance they came from across the sea on their own and not with Columbus and them, meaning their people came from europe, and there are plenty of religions there. And even if they’re ancestors lived through slavery times and never bought a slave, that still doesn’t give them the right to practice. White people always try to twist things so that it can be ok in their eyes to do whatever they want.

In conclusion, remember white witches, 🗣Just because you contact your ancestors does not mean it is vodou  🗣and 🗣Don’t contact our ancestors, they are not your ancestors, they are ours 🗣

(White witches also forget that our ancestors are petty, they will listen to you and say hi and all that, and then fuck your shit up. Don’t try it)

I’m sorry, I just have to comment like this doesn’t even make fucking sense lol. If you have no connection to our ancestors why are you summoning them? It’s not like Gods & goddesses. They aren’t your gahdamn ancestors. Get over it. Why the fuck do y’all never in your lives develop the capability to understand when things don’t belong to you? It’s elementary school shit. Every other poc practice is mostly okay with each other. Y’all are the ONLY damn ones that always feel the need to insert yourselves where you don’t belong, the rest of us mind our own business or enter a practice the right fucking way. That’s why you’re never welcome.
on top of the damn fact that our ancestry is heavily rooted in slavery perpetrated by YOUR people. Like why do you even WANT to mess with that?

Black ancestors were the ones who hid our gods in their mouths through the horror of the Middle Passage and, when they reached darker, more treacherous shores, they let them out in tiny puffs of air. Prayers here, songs there. Lines scratched into dirt in mud houses, away from prying eyes.

It is Black ancestors who, when white (and other) slave owners tried to crush our gods underfoot, hid them behind a panoply of saints. The halos and the bright robes were bright enough that those slave masters never truly saw the expansive, towering nature of the ones who walked with us. Who still walk with us.

It is Black ancestors who, now that we have shifted into a new era, are coming forth, filled with vigor. Empowered as more of us begin to recall their names or, simply lend them energy by acknowledging their existence. We remember. Ancestors are an outstretched hand to us, one that we can grasp simply by calling upon them. One that we can hold through careful cultivation of our bond.

Like, don’t you understand? Our gods are powerful but so are the ones who came before us. Who built bridges for us upon their whip-scored backs. Whose sacrifice – which in many cases, was their very lives – is what gives us enough air in our lungs to call upon them in the first place. For those of us who remember, it is a source of infinite strength that keeps our backs straight and our heads held high. Our ancestors bring with them the force to make things manifest so that WE don’t get crushed underfoot when wahala comes.

And you, oyinbo witch who thinks of divinities like fruit on trees, ripe for your plucking and consumption, you think you can safely tap into that?

Don’t.

Dip a toe into the ocean of our strength and you’ll get dragged beneath the waves. You don’t want to know what waits for you in the ocean deep.

*And some responses to this:

This shit is wild to me white people are literally continuing oppression in others afterlife?!? Like summoning our ancestors would imply you are looking for exchange or favor or something. Which why would you demand that from black ancestors trying to rest from the terror of living with white folks?!! What. That’s horrible.

afrocentric-divination:

This literally is not about skin color, I don’t understand why you’re purposely being so fucking obtuse about this, @insanewitchking.  Yes, we have common ancestors and shared ground, but you need to remember that some of us have shared ancestors and common ground because of systematic racism, institutional violence, and rape; and in this case, we did not choose to share ancestors or ground with you.  They were either taken from us or forced on us. You don’t get to claim heritage to ground and traditions that you murdered your way into, tried to eradicate, and demonized.  If you need an example, the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, the Trail of Tears, and colonialism as a whole are all good places for you to start.  And if you can’t understand that, then please educate yourself and stay the fuck off posts that don’t fucking pertain to you.

We are not telling you “you can’t practice this because you’re white”, we are saying “do not practice this without going through the proper initiatory channels because you are disrespecting an entire culture, group of people, and spirits otherwise.”  Afro-Diasporic traditions like Vodou, Santeria, Palo Mayombe, etc are closed.  They belong to specific groups of oppressed and marginalized peoples, and understanding the historical and social context of those people is crucial to properly practicing the religion.  Again, see the above paragraph to understand why this is important.

But if you want to be a privileged, disrespectful asshole, and cry your precious White Tears™ because a group of Black people are politely explaining to you that it’s oppressive, inappropriate, and possibly dangerous for you to just randomly start contacting our ancestors, whose oppression you benefit from as a white person, you are the one who isn’t right in this situation.  This is literally why certain religions are closed–to keep ignorant ass clowns like you from interjecting yourself into circles that you’re not a part of.  We’re trying to educate your stupid ass, but if you want to talk over us, and learn the hard way about poking around in shit that you have no business messing with, by all means, tell the ancestors that “We’re all from Africa originally.” and “All Lives Matter” and “All races have done terrible things and we should just all not be racist.” and that “I don’t see color.” and see what fucking happens.

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This photo needs captioning, immediately!

Here! Have some introvert memes! And  please visit the IntrovertUnites website. Its a fun site with lots of information on being an introvert, what it is, how to take care of yourself, how to be in relationships as an introvert, etc.

This is my personal favorite and is highly accurate. (Don’t be calling me out the house after I sit my butt down for the evening.)

We have a twitter here too: https://twitter.com/IntrovertUnite. See some of you there?

 

Yeah, this one is about right, too. I hate small talk, and trying desperately to remember where the hell I know you from.

We have a twitter here too: https://twitter.com/IntrovertUnite. See some of you there?

 

“Meaningless ritualized social interaction” were the exact words I used to refer to “small talk” when I was about fifteen. I have simplified things as I’ve gotten older. Now its just called “mindless yammering”.

We have a twitter here too: https://twitter.com/IntrovertUnite. See some of you there?

 

 

We have a twitter here too: https://twitter.com/IntrovertUnite. See some of you there?

 

We have a twitter here too: https://twitter.com/IntrovertUnite. See some of you there?

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And just to lighten things up a bit, here’s some Chadwick Bozeman, my future  ex-husband:

 

 

For You Writers

I want to introduce you to a Tumblr site for people who want to write PoC in their novels. This site clearly, coherently, with a minimum of fuss, and lots of links to other sites, explains what the stereotypes are for different groups of PoC, why they’re bad, and how to avoid them. How to write about Black skin and hair without referring to food, the different stereotypes between Latinas and Black women, and how to write engaging, complex Men of Color.

writingwithcolor:

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Writing With Color Top Posts + Other Useful Ones

Oh hey– here’s a list ranked by Writing With Color’s most popular posts since opening in 2014 up till now, the start of 2017. Pulled together for the interest and usefulness for readers like you. Thank you.

Top 7 Popular Original Posts

  1. Words for Skin Tone – This two part guide offers an array of words for describing skin color. Part I focuses on the problems with food descriptors. Part II provides alternatives. (68k+ Notes)
  2. Common Micro-aggressions: African Americans and/or Black People – An extensive list of common micro-aggressions towards Black people with some links for further reading. (46k)
  3. Words to Describe Hair  As with the words for skin tone, an offering of words to describe hair, from curls to different colors. (34k+)
  4. Black and White Symbolism: A Look into the Trope – Discusses concept of black as evil and white as good, from its history & problem implications. Guide offers alternatives & solutions. (10k)
  5. Describing Accents – An example-based post for describing accents and voices. (5k)
  6. How to Research your Racially/Ethnically Diverse Characters –     Self-explanatory. (5k)
  7. Describing Asian Eyes – A guide to describing Asian eyes with further useful commentary. (4k)

Honorable Mentions

Other recommended WWC Posts.

  • Stereotyping Tropes List – A categorized tropes list reposted from the TV Tropes website with links to their topics on the subject matter.

–WWC

Please visit the site.Even if you’re not a writer, it has some interesting articles if you want to learn about things like: intersectional feminism and basic racial terms.

Ofra Haza

This is my musical interlude for the week, while I work on some stuff, I’ve got coming up soon. I keep having to remind myself there’s no schedule for any of these posts. I don’t have to do them right away or in a timely fashion, as this is for fun, and not my job. But my inner Type A won’t shut the Hell up, so I will continue to have anxieties about late posts, I guess.

I first discovered Ofra at the tail end of her popularity in the early 90’s. My roommate had an album of Ofra Haza’s remixes ,of which Galbi and Im Nin Alu were my two favorites. Subsequently, that album did, in fact, go  missing (into my collection), after I “borrowed” it.

Ofra Haza was born in Tel Aviv, of Yemenite Jewish ancestry. She has since passed on. She died in 2000 of AIDS related pneumonia.

Go Nichelle!

article by Ny Magee via eurweb.com Star Trek icon Nichelle Nichols revealed Monday during a Reddit AMA that she will be involved in an upcoming NASA mission. She will be “among the first non-essential personnel to experience NASA’s newest telescope: SOFIA,” MSN reports. “In September, I’m traveling on a NASA SOFIA flight, a second generation […]

via ‘Star Trek’ Icon Nichelle Nichols to Take Part in NASA Mission — GOOD BLACK NEWS

BBC Interview

If you’re a parent, who works at home, you have probably already seen Robert Kelly’s  BBC interview. It’s already gone viral, and that’s because it’s a seriously darling video, with which people can easily identify. I laughed waaay too hard at this:


It’s not just his family bursting in that makes this so hilarious. It’s the little girl’s dance, followed by her baby sibling wheeling their way in. It’s his and his wife’s reactions. He’s horribly embarrassed but is still trying hard not to laugh at his situation. It’s also easy to make up all kinds of funny stories about how this happened.

And of course, there’s gonna be parodies, which are almost as funny as the original. Almost!


C’mon! You knew those were coming!

Hannibal Season Two Finale: Mizumono

And so we end with a perfect cap on this season. We began in episode one, with a forecast of how the season would end, with a massive knockdown fight, between Jack Crawford and Hannibal. How did we get from them being friends to that point? The rest of the season is really just a flashback, to how we reach that moment, and its aftermath.

All season long ,we’ve watched Will Graham, thoroughly unburdened by the illness he was suffering  in that first season, at the top of his game. Most of this season chronicles Will’s  fall from grace. In his efforts to capture the Chesapeake Ripper, he finds himself in spiritual, and emotional, alignment with Hannibal. After failing to get any traction on his accusation that Hannibal is the Ripper, Will, in collusion with a newly believing Jack, after  Beverly’s death, embarked on a campaign to take down Hannibal, by cozying up to him, winning his trust, and gathering  evidence of wrongdoing. Hannibal being too canny for that plan to work, didn’t enter into their equations, and Will found himself being drawn  further down the rabbit hole of Hannibal’s machinations. Hannibal’s goal is  to make Will realize that he is just as much a killer as Hannibal, and make him his partner in death.This culminates in the death of Randall Tier at Will’s hands, in self-defense, and the seeming death of Freddie Lounds.

In this episode everything comes to a head. Jack’s predicament in allowing Will’s plan, Will’s predicament in lying to Hannibal, and the actual fate of Abigail Hobbes is revealed.

Hannibal sends Jack a letter, inviting him to dine with him and Will, and he accepts. Will and Jack discuss this Last Supper, while finalizing their plan to catch The Chesapeake Ripper. Alana is filled with doom and gloom and nightmares, as she begins to realize exactly what’s been happening, and what Hannibal is. She hasn’t been sleeping and is filled with dread that Hannibal has laid a trap for all of them.

Jack is finally successful in finding Hannibal’s therapist Bedelia Du’Maurier, who had gone into hiding, after she felt threatened by Hannibal. In his interview with her, Bedelia warns Will that Hannibal will find a way to prevail. She explains what hold Hannibal has over her. Will and Jack offer her immunity from prosecution for her testimony against Hannibal. An astute observer, she can somehow tell that Will’s loyalties have been severely compromised, and that it is Will’s weakness that will hand Hannibal his victory over their plans.

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Bella Crawford is dying in the hospital of lung cancer. Hannibal visits her and they discuss forgiveness. She says she forgives him for saving her life, and letting her die in this manner, but in return, Hannibal has to save Jack, the way Hannibal saved her. She has no idea that Hannibal didn’t save her out of caring or friendship, but as an exercise to see  what would happen, and to distract Jack from his hunt for The Ripper. She never discovers that Hannibal not only doesn’t keep his promise to save Jack but makes plans with Will Graham to kill him.

Nevertheless, Bella’s words about forgiveness come back to haunt Hannibal in season three. Unbeknownst to her she (and everyone he has met) does have an effect on him. In fact, even though Hannibal later claims that Will and the others had effected no change in him, that is a lie. Since becoming involved with the FBI, and knowing Will, Hannibal has developed close relationships with many people he would otherwise have never met. Remember  season one, when  Hannibal was a profoundly lonely man, who didn’t realize just how alone he was. After involving himself with Will, he became surrounded by people who cared about and trusted him, and although that did not prevent him from killing any of them, it has affected his attitudes and behaviors in small ways that will  play out in season three.

Will is clearly conflicted about Hannibal. As he makes plans with Jack, he also helps Hannibal destroy evidence in his office. While the two of them burn Hannibal’s files,  they make plans to run away together. Will is cagey about the commitment but it all becomes moot anyway, when Hannibal, with his keen sense of smell, scents Freddie Lound’s hair shampoo on Will’s clothes. Will had just had a meeting with her to ask her not to write any more stories involving Abigail, and to let her rest in peace, as he makes plans for Hannibal’s imminent capture.

Image result for hannibal memory palace gif

Will and Hannibal discuss what would happen to Hannibal if he were ever captured and Hannibal says he would live inside his Memory Palace, (something peripherally mentioned in the Silence of the Lambs), which is a place deep inside his mind, which resembles the foyer of the Norman Chapel in Palermo. Foreshadowing: This is information that Will uses to find Hannibal in season three.

Just as Hannibal has his Memory Palace, Will also has one. Fishing in the river.We saw Will visiting this place when he was in prison. At the time, Hannibal as the RavenStag, or the ManStag, was often shown infiltrating Will’s private mental space, illustrating that Hannibal (and Abigail) were never far from Will’s thoughts. Later, in season three, Will easily visits Hannibal’s Memory Palace. As an example of how intertwined their thoughts are, by that point, its not immediately clear to the viewer, whose mind we’re visiting, Will’s or Hannibal’s.

While having dinner, Hannibal asks Will to just leave with him, and not inform Jack, but Will lies to Hannibal, saying that Jack deserves to know, and puts forth the idea that Jack be killed. Hannibal doesn’t require that Jack die but he allows Will to keep lying to him. He was hoping that Will would come clean but he didn’t. Hannibal makes other plans at this point.

Kade Prunell, the Special Investigator, has caught wind of Jack’s plan. She aims to put a stop to it because its a complete violation of the law, and a private citizen’s rights. Claiming that the imminent death of his wife has compromised his logic, she suspends Jack from his position as Director. Jack, now free of any legal obligations to capture Hannibal alive, surrenders his gun and badge. Alana comes to his defense, arguing that the only way that Hannibal can be captured is in the act, , but Kade won’t hear of it. She tells Alana that Jack and Will are to be arrested for what happened to Randall Tier. Alana calls Will, to warn him about the warrants put out for his and Jack’s arrests, while Jack visits Bella in the hospital one last time.

Will calls Hannibal. Just as this whole thing began, that first season, with Hannibal’s phone call to Garrett Jacob Hobbes, (just because he was curious what would happen), Will’s phone call to Hannibal sets in motion a series of events that will end in tragedy for everyone in Hannibal’s orbit, and have repercussions far into their futures, as it sets off what fans  know as The Diner Rouge, The Red Dinner, where everyone’s  paths cross.

Jack arrives early for dinner at Hannibal’s home. They exchange pleasantries, but they both understand each other very well, in this instance. They begin to fight.

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Hannibal bests Jack and Jack locks himself in the walk-in cupboard, with a near mortal wound to the throat. Alana arrives to find Hannibal trying to batter his way in to finish off Jack. When she attracts his attention, he tells her that he tried, very hard, to keep her ignorant of what he is, expresses regret that he has to say goodbye to her, and as a courtesy, tells her she should flee. She fires at Hannibal but Hannibal had earlier removed the bullets from her gun.

Now she flees. She runs upstairs with Hannibal in pursuit, although he leaves the  kitchen knives behind. Alana is shocked to encounter Abigail Hobbes in an upstairs bedroom. Abigail pushes her out the window, and heads downstairs.

Will is just arriving. He finds Alana broken on the front steps, but alive. She warns him about Jack, while he calls for Emergency Services, then he goes inside where he finally sees that Abigail is actually alive. Shocked by this turn of events he doesn’t try to defend himself as Hannibal approaches. Hannibal says it was meant to be a surprise, the three of them going away together, as one big happy family. But that will never happen now. Just as Hannibal had his moment of complete understanding with Jack, Hannibal and Will have their moment. Hannibal is full of righteous fury about Will’s betrayal and deception.Will knows Hannibal is going to kill him and he accepts that he deserves it. What he didn’t count on was Hannibal taking Abigail away from him, again.

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To show Will his power, and to punish Will for his betrayal, (even if Will did renege at the last minute and warn him) Hannibal stabs Will in the stomach, but doesn’t kill him, although he easily could have, and as Will lays dying, Hannibal cuts Abigail’s throat in front of him. We end as we began, in season one, with Will clutching Abigail’s throat trying to save her life. Killing Abigail is also a moment of defiance because Will said he  affected Hannibal’s life for the good. Killing Abigail is Hannibal’s way of showing Will how little he changed him. After all, if he had changed him, would he be able to do this? But Will, in complete understanding, knows that the very act of killing Abigail, in defiance of Will’s assertions, is in itself, evidence of how much Hannibal has changed.

It’s also Hannibal just being petty and angry. He claims Will didn’t affect who he is, but he allowed Will to get close to him, and trusted him. Will did to Hannibal what Hannibal was doing to Alana, and that betrayal hurts. Its one of the reasons Hannibal kept himself aloof from other people all those years. Not just to protect his secret life, but the understanding that emotional connections would compromise his survival instincts. This is him showing Will that he is not compromised.

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But of course Will affected him, or he wouldn’t feel so much pain.

And this is not something out of character for Hannibal. The entire time that we’ve known Hannibal, he has tried to maintain a facade of equanimity, and dispassion, most of the time (I imagine for most of his life). He’s not emotionless. He has a deep well of emotion, but he maintains a rather impassive veneer. When he does get caught up in his emotions, and allow them to take rein, usually people die, and the Diner Rouge is no different event.

Most of the time we see Hannibal killing others from a place of clinical detachment. Killing is just something he thinks needs doing. This season we’ve seen him kill from emotion, at least once , when he killed the Judge who threw out his testimony during Will’s trial. He was insulted and outraged at his treatment, feeling lonely because of Will’s absence, and killing the Judge fell in line with removing an obstacle to his happiness. (Remember, before he decides to kill the Judge, there’s a scene of him sitting alone in his office, realizing exactly how much he played himself, when he had Will arrested, and how much he misses Will.)

At the end of season one Hannibal frames Will for survival reasons. At the end of season two, he is still in a mental  place, where he thinks more of himself, than he does the people in his orbit. He is still very much a selfish creature at the end of season one. But all during season two he has allowed himself to  care about Will, the only person he has ever allowed himself to have emotions for, since the death of his sister Misha, and he gets betrayed for his trouble. He’s not just mad at Will. He’s angry that he got suckered. Not ever having built up any kind of immunity against even the most the casual pains that human beings can inflict on each other, Hannibal is like a dangerous child, lashing out at anyone who hurts him.

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Having officially burned all his bridges, he steps out into the cleansing rain, believing that this part of his life is over, and that he can begin anew, casually stepping over Alana’s prone body, without even checking to see if she’s still alive. She meant nothing to him except as a means to control Will. He only made overtures to her when it looked like she might fall for Will, and only kept up a relationship with her so that Will couldn’t.

The final coda to this episode is Hannibal on a plane bound for Europe in the company of his psychiatrist, Bedelia Du’Maurier.

 

I started writing these reviews because I couldn’t find any good meta for this show that had been written after season two. I just decided, rather than scouring the internet for it, I should just write something myself.

Next up: The entirety of season three in my Hannibal re-watch.

 

 

 

 

 

Tumblr Humor # 247

*Why does no one think it at all strange to be gluing appliques on their baby? And what about gluing shit on boys? How about little bow-ties, since we’re going for that whole gender essentialism thing?

brainstatic: “Tired of your baby girl being seen as a genderless imp? Afraid strangers might not recognize your sexless proto-human as the soft femme heartbreaker she is? Well now you can glue some shit on her head! That’s right, just glue some...

brainstatic:

Tired of your baby girl being seen as a genderless imp? Afraid strangers might not recognize your sexless proto-human as the soft femme heartbreaker she is? Well now you can glue some shit on her head! That’s right, just glue some gender conformity right onto her unclosed fontanelle! Say goodbye to awkwardly explaining that no, despite her bald head, your androgynous poop machine is actually a demure coquette! Glue your fucking baby today!

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*Once I sit down in my house, that’s it! I’m not having any more interactions with ppl for the rest of the evening. And no, don’t  even be in my neighborhood.

We have a twitter here too: https://twitter.com/IntrovertUnite. See some of you there?

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*I think it might have been a mistake for NASA to ask for suggestions on this. I mean they’re talking to Americans and I think we invented snark.

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*This is the most plausible explanation, I’ve ever seen, for why people don’t recognize Clark Kent as Superman, and its not the eyeglasses:

raptorific:

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

@unpretty

“Hey, that— that guy, in the corner, is that— is that Superman?” 

Clark looks up from his computer at the new intern. “Oh, no,” he says. “You caught me.”

“Clark, you pull this shit every time, man,” his desk neighbor Steve says. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No, the kid’s right, I’m Superman,” Clark says. He gets out of his seat and cracks his back out. “I guess we’re gonna have a superhero fight.”

“Clark, sit back down.”

“Nope. Superhero fight.”

“Clark if you don’t sit the hell back down and finish your article by lunch I am going to tell Perry on you.”

Clark points at the intern. “You get off easy this time, buddy,” he says, and sits back down.

“So…” the intern says, very lost. “Uh…”

“That’s Clark,” a slightly older and more experienced intern says. “He’s Superman’s asshole twin.”

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*This is, very possibly, one of the best reviews of Fences.  Ever! Or, as clueless White people at awards shows like to call it, Hidden Fences!

Art Art by John Ueland

 

Source:
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And you know Black Twitter couldnt let that Hidden Fences comment pass:
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*And finally , I laughed too long and hard at this discussion, with Black people refusing to tell White people what “Take the L”, actually meant, and basically trolling  them.

poonpie:

dope-lore:

poonpie:

For those who don’t know, ‘take this L’ refers to the Longitude and Latitude of a map. When you have to take an L, you need to locate your Longitude and Latitude. By doing so you will discover how far out of your lane you fucking traveled.

I thought the L stood for log like logarithim cuz u gotta do a complicated problem to figure out who the fuck u think ur talkin too

You’re actually not wrong. Originally it referred to the Latin word ‘lūcidus’ which means ‘radiating light’. Therefore, when you need to take an L, you must enlighten yourself on where you got me fucked up.

Pop Culture News

And now some PopCulture News.

*I am totally squeeeing in my bunny slippers about the next season of Preacher. So, now its time to re-watch the first season!

dailypreacher:

AMC has announced that “Preacher,” the hit drama based on the Vertigo comic series by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, will return for its 13-episode second season on Monday, June 19, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. That marks a move from Sunday to Monday, which has become AMC’s second night for original programming.

*Here is a partial list of cast members for the new Star Trek Discovery, produced by Brayn Fuller. I love this cast, some of whom I recognize from other favorite shows. Even if I wasn’t geeking out over Soniqua, I’d still be there for Michelle Yeoh, and Doug Jones.

Bryan Fuller is pretty good at remembering that PoC exist in the future. He used to work on Star Trek DS9, so he’s got some Trek cred. And after his interpretation of Hannibal Lecter,  I’d follow him anywhere.

I‘m told that the only way to see the intial episodes of this show, is on the streaming service called CBS All Access, which is 5.99 a month for the ads added version.

frontier001:

So I thought I’d make this to help everyone out.

This is Likely Not All of the Cast.  It is everyone who has, so far, been announced.  CBS has been announcing people two or three at a time.  Why?  No one knows!

  • We don’t know for sure who is regular cast and who is guest cast for the most part.
  • IMDB offers some info-speculation, but take it with a grain of salt.
  • CBS has never officially said Sonequa Martin-Green is aboard; but she did briefly in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that was mostly about how she can do both Discovery and The Walking Dead.  Why CBS hasn’t said anything is anyone’s guess!
  • We know we’ll have 2 (two) Starfleet Ships AND at least 1 (one) Klingon ship, though not for how long – the Klingons are all so far only listed as in 2 episodes.
  • Sarek is thus far the only previously canon character; he’s only listed in 1 episode yet.

I think all of them are on Twitter?  As are all the writers.  Though all to various degrees of activity.  If you’re interested.

Here’s hoping the next cast announced is three more women, to even things out!

Netfix is producing a movie starring Steven Yeun and Tilda Swinton titled Okja

Netflix is producing a zombie show set in medieval Korea

 

*Look for Will Smith’s new movie coming sometime soon, titled Bright. It looks like an adaption of Maurice Broaddus’ Kingmaker series, so if you like Arthurian Legends set in an Urban landscape, check out that series, too.

 

*Charlize Theron is getting her version of John Wick. It looks like a lot of fun, but I probably won’t be seeing this. I like Charize, and all, but I already saw Salt, and I’m not paying to see the same movie twice. The title is kickin’ tho’.

 

*Here are some new trailers and clips for Alien Covenant, due in April, I think. Michael Fassbender is being creepy again as a new robot.. ahem, Artificial Person, named Walter.

Enjoy!

 

*This is a kinda cool riff on the dinner scene from the original Alien, and a good way to be introduced to some obnoxious characters. 

 

*If you enjoyed Train to Busan, than Seoul Station, the animated prequel, will be available in the US this Summer. It appears to be every bit as harrowing as the live action movie.

 

The “Get Out” Link Roundup

Get Out, Jordan Peele’s new Horror movie, with a racial twist, is the new media darling of the moment, and has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s made almost as big of a splash as last year’s release of Lemonade and has spawned a metric ton of think-pieces. I can live with these types of Black media events happening every February, if you ask me.

What’s surprising to me is the number of White people who have gone to see this movie, and have really gotten into it by not just thinking of it as a movie for Black people, which is what usually happens when a movie stars more than three Black people but liking it as a relatable Horror movie. I think part of the charm is that it is really accessible, its not preachy, and  it is a straight up Horror movie, that’s a cross between Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and  The Stepford Wives.Its one of those types of movies with lots of gaslighting and paranoia.

Another part of the movie’s charm is that its Jordan Peele, who has  established his Horror credentials on the show he co-hosts with Keegan Michael-Key, called Key and Peele. Both of them are alumni from MadTV. (If you haven’t watched the show, please step right to it. Its almost as great as The Chappelle Show, which is saying something, because I’m a huge Chappelle Show fan.)

The video at the end of this post by Latasha, contains lots and lots of

SPOILERS

SPOILERS

SPOILERS

So, if you don’t want to know all the sordid details, as she dissects the movie, skip the video.

Now, some of these commentaries have spoilers too,  so be careful, again. And for Gob’s sake don’t read the comments to any of the articles if you have a low tolerance for White Fragility.

 

http://www.theroot.com/get-out-proves-that-nice-racism-and-white-liberalism-1792955235

https://bitchmedia.org/article/get-out-movie-white-feminism

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/feb/28/get-out-box-office-jordan-peele

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-et-mn-get-out-milk-horror-jordan-peele-allison-williams-20170301-story.html

http://www.gq.com/story/things-ill-never-trust-again-after-watching-get-out

http://www.mtv.com/news/2986793/get-out-understands-the-black-body/

http://intelexual.co/home/racist-white-women-an-american-legacy/

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/review-the-giant-leap-forward-of-jordan-peeles-get-out

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/03/07/how_get_out_positions_white_womanhood_as_the_most_horrifying_villain_of.html

https://www.wired.com/2017/03/get-out-discussion/

View story at Medium.com

https://thinkprogress.org/white-lies-matter-get-out-knows-no-one-is-as-woke-as-they-think-they-are-d526212e28eb#.hq7j5c43e

http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a53515/get-out-jordan-peele-slavery/

http://www.vulture.com/2017/02/daniel-kaluuya-on-get-out-how-racism-is-like-horror-films.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/03/in-get-out-the-eyes-have-it/518370/

View story at Medium.com

https://filmschoolrejects.com/race-horror-and-the-death-of-the-status-quo-5b1bbdf3f1c6#.ib83eao0g

http://www.vox.com/culture/2017/3/7/14759756/get-out-benevolent-racism-white-feminism

http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/03/what-get-out-gets-right-about-american-culture-and-blackness.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

99% of ‘Iron Fist’s’ Negative Reviews Are Coming From White Critics. That Matters

Sublime Zoo

Well, lovers of the Zoo, do we have a lot to talk about.

But before we even begin, lemme start by saying this:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Listen y’all. I shall never forget where I was when the review embargo on Iron Fist was lifted on March 8th, 2017 and everyone within a 250-mile radius with a pen and a computer ripped it a new asshole.

In fact, I was in my bed, wiping the sleep boogers from my eyes when—all of a sudden at 9:50 am the Fire Nation attacked my phone blew the hell up.

And this is all that I saw:

Which again, brought me to this point:

MY CHEST

Of course, I could spend this entire post laughing my ass off, but that’s not the point. Nah.

Let’s talk about how most these critical reviews of Iron Fist are coming from White critics and mainstream outlets.

This is rather…

View original post 1,332 more words

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