The Mist Vs. Nightworld: Writing the Supernatural Apocalypse II

I just recently listened to the audiobook versions of these two stories, and was as  struck by the similarities,  as much as the dissimilarities. Suffice to say, if you’re going to write a Kaiju Style Apocalypse, for maximum terror, these are the things you’re gonna need to include: monsters, death, intrepid survivors, and some human villains.

Nightworld, written by F. Paul Wilson, waaay back in 1992, (it was heavily revised in 2001) ,  was the conclusion to a seven book series that started with The Keep, and starred Wilson’s original character, Repairman Jack, (who is sort of like Jack Reacher, only he fights the supernatural.)

In Nightworld, the entire world is beset by  monsters who have emerged from sinkholes that circle the globe. This invasion is the precursor to the rise of an of Anti-God, named Rasolom, and Hell on Earth, as the sun begins rising later every day, and setting earlier every evening. Worldwide. (To someone with even the most basic understanding of Astronomy, that’s already pretty terrifying.) The endgame is an endless nighttime, where the various monsters, that are  allergic to sunlight, can roam, and eat, freely.

In The Mist, a novella written by Stephen King, and first published in 1980, in the anthology titled Dark Forces, the world is overcome by a dense fog, in which all manner of different  monsters live. It is theorized, by the characters, that scientists accidentally opened a portal to another universe, that flooded into Earth.

First, something naturally unnatural has to occur, in the sky or in the earth, like the sun setting at the wrong time everyday, fogs, mists,  tsunamis, or giant holes opening up in the ground. The precursor to all hell breaking loose (literally), for these characters, is if the natural environment has suddenly gone horribly awry.

Second, you are going to  need monsters, and not just Leviathans. You’re gonna need a variety of sizes to induce maximum terror. After all, you might be able to fight off,  or avoid, the big ones, (I say “might”) but smaller monsters can creep into human hiding places, and cause general havoc, as well as sleeplessness.

You’re going to need, not just one big monster, but a variety of different  sized monsters, from the small to the gargantuan.This is what makes these books different from a Kaiju story. They’re more like Kaiju-Adjacent.

You must have gruesome deaths. Some of these gruesome deaths must involve the use of some kind of acid that dissolves its victims alive. In Nightworld, there is a thoroughly disgusting collection of acidic  critters that fly around eating people’s faces. In The Mist there are giant spiders with acidic webbing, as if the idea of giant spiders isn’t  quite terrifying enough,I guess.

Some of your monsters must have wings. It doesn’t particularly matter what type of wings, as long as the creatures can fly. In Nightworld they have insect wings. In The Mist bat wings seem to be the preferred method of flight.

At least some of your monsters must have tentacles. Nightworld fulfills this requirement admirably, by having lots (and lots) of creatures with tentacles, grabbing people and pulling them into small apertures. The Mist has giant tentacles just sitting outside a grocery story, not even attached to anything, apparently. They’re certainly not attached to anything aquatic as grocery stores are normally on land. The Mist pours some extra gravy on its tentacular horrors by giving them tiny mouths.

At least one of the monsters encountered has to be so fantastical, that it defies belief , like The Mist’s Leviathan, or the creature that decides to take up most of the Atlantic Ocean in Nightworld.

Speaking of giant monsters, they have to come from somewhere, and out of giant holes, whether under the ocean,  or out of the ground, as in Nightworld, are the perfect portals for entry. You must have portals. What?! Them monsters gotta get here somehow.

Okay, once you’ve got your monsters sorted into their various sizes, along with where they’re visiting  from, and their transportation, you then have to lay out who it is they’ll be eating. You must have an intrepid group of people, whose job it is to be eaten, trapped, survive, or defeat the monsters.

Intrepid – fearless, unafraid, undaunted, unflinching, unshrinking, bold, daring, gallant, audacious, adventurous, heroic, dynamic, spirited, indomitable;

I’m not sure if The Mist qualifies in that department, as the people in that story seem scared shitless, throughout the entire ordeal. Nevertheless, since all the other criteria are met, we’ll refer to them as intrepid anyway. After all, they do some brave things,  like fighting the giant spiders, and arguing with the crazy religious lady. The characters from Nightworld are actually described as brave and fearless in the book. In fact, one of the characters has a speech about it, and they all engage in some boldness, some daring, and  even some indomitable behavior.

Your intrepid group of people must consist of, at least one straight, honest, stand-up, White guy. It is a requirement that he be both honest, and White, and no substitutes will be made. He must be the kind of White guy who is strong and bold, but also compassionate, idealistic, and willing to protect the little guy. He must be able to clearly articulate why things need doing, and convey those beliefs to the other characters.

In other words, you need Captain James Tiberius Kirk.

Nightworld fulfills this quota with two…count’em!, two stand-up White guys. Although,  I feel the writer is clearly overdoing it, by having one of them be a former priest, and the other an ancient swordsman.

In accordance with the James Kirk Axiom, you will them need a pretty  blond  White woman. A redhead or possibly auburn haired woman can be used in a pinch, but she must be heterosexual, and conventionally pretty. No arm fat, tattoos, arthritis, or nervous diseases need apply. Not even allergies. She must be in perfect physical health and form, and above all else, she must remain un-traumatized by any of the preceding events attending the end of the world, like watching her family and friends be eaten.

And for Gob’s sake, no women of color! Apparently women of color, (and any women with tattoos) all get eaten first…or something. Whatever is happening though,  they never seem to make it to the being intrepid  part of the story.

There must be at least one child, preferably a boy, but a young girl will suffice. They can be White, but it is not a hard and fast rule, as it is not  required that they be genetically related to either the White man, or White woman. Sometimes it can just be some kid one of them picked up somewhere. Extra points if the child is an orphan who  just witnessed their family be eaten by the monsters, for maximum trauma. How else are you going to convey to the reader how dangerous the world  is, without the help of crying, screaming children. Also, you can always fill up some time by having the child be in extra special danger, by having them wander off alone, or be autistic, or something.

Nightworld is interesting in that there is a perfectly healthy and un-traumatized child in the story, which is turned on its head, by having the child become autistic, when he helps save the world.

Surrounding this trio are what I like to call the intrepid, but disposable people. They are the  literary equivalent of non-playable characters. Don’t get too attached to them, these characters could be eaten at any second. They should consist of at least one (if not more) men of color, preferably Black or Latino.  You can break the rules and have there be at least one  woman of color in the story, but they can’t have any lines of dialogue, unless its exclamations like “Look out!”, or “Aaaaaahhhh!” Any exposition should be left to any extra White men, that you have added,  preferably a teacher, or a scientist. Nightworld has a priest, who knows what’s happening, and can explain it to those characters who are out of the loop. David Drayton, from The Mist, is an illustrator, which kind of changes things up a bit, but he is still the narrator.

Nightworld is not a good template for casting your characters because all of its major characters are White. (People of color probably didn’t exist when it was written. I have it on good authority, that we weren’t invented, in Horror literature, until about 1999. Well, Stephen King had discovered us, but we had to be magical to get in his stories.) There should be no more than ten of these non-essential characters. More than ten and the reader will  lose track of who they should be terrified is going to die next.

And last, but not least, you must have at least one asshole. No story about the end of the world is complete without at least one human being, who is trying to kill off the other human beings, and  that you wish would hurry up and be eaten by something. By anything.

The Mist is exemplary in that it has two…Count ’em! Two assholes. Norton, the asshole neighbor of David Drayton, and Ms. Carmody, the asshole religious townie. Norton fulfills the role of the asshole who wants desperately to be in charge, but no one will listen to him, who becomes increasingly unhinged. He eventually dies by skipping out into the mist to feed himself to the monsters.

Ms Carmody fulfills the role of the asshole, who is already thoroughly unhinged, before the story even begins, and the intrepid people are now trapped with her crazy ass, and the other scared  people start thinking that human sacrifice makes sense.

Nightworld  fulfills this requirement, in exemplary fashion, by also having multiple assholes in the script. In the unrevised edition of the story, (from before 2001), it was the husband of one of the intrepid people. In the newly improved book, its some random bad guys from  previous books, who mostly don’t come into contact with our intrepid gang.

And finally, the ending can’t be all wishy-washy. (We’re looking at you Steve!) In The Mist, there really isn’t much of an end to the story. We don’t know if David Drayton and his friends ever get out of it, or how long it lasts. (Thankfully the movie corrects this problem, which is all I have to say, in that the movie definitely has an end.) Nightworld correctly follows the rules, by having the good guys win, at the last possible second. You know the rules. Disaster is only averted when the countdown reaches one.

Now my people, go forth, and kill your darlings.

Gruesomely!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Samurai Jack: Season Five Premiere

 

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Samurai Jack is quite possibly one of the most uniquely gorgeous cartoons on television. Now in its final season, it’s pulling out all of the stops for some truly groundbreaking and beautiful art. The plots of each episode  aren’t complicated but the overall arc of the season is complex enough to make watching it a worthwhile endeavor.

*Fifty years have passed, but I do not age. Time has lost its effect on me, yet the suffering continues. Aku’s grasp chokes the past, present and future. All hope is lost. Got to get back. Back to the past. Samurai Jack.

— Jack, in the opening sequence

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Voiced once again by Phil Lamarr from Pulp Pulp Fiction, and MadTV, it’s  some fifty years in the future, and Aku has finally succeeded in taking over the world. But he’s become bored and jaded. He’s no longer interested in hunting Jack, or trying to kill him. He let’s his robot drones and cultlike followers do his dirty work for him. A new group is hunting Jack called The Daughters of Aku.

Jack lost his legendary sword long ago and wanders Aku’s corrupt landscape, with no purpose. He failed to stop Aku from taking over the world but he can’t or won’t die. One of the side effects of having gone through the time portal to kill Aku is that he no longer ages. He longs to die, but out of long habit, fights Akus servants, over and over.

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It’s a gorgeous looking show with lots of action, and is rather mordantly funny, with the humor found in unexpected places. In one of the earlier sequences we watch as Aku goes about his day, receiving  penitents, eating breakfast, and doing some stretching and deep knee bends, because the Evil Ruler of the World has to remain nimble.

In fact, Samurai  Jack and Aku have a lot in common, as they navigate a world radically different from what they thought things would be. They’re old, jaded, weary, and tired of fighting, but just can’t seem to stop. Jack is  facing new foes, old friends, and trying to live in a world he failed to save. Aku realizes that ruling the world isn’t as wonderful as he thought it would be, but he can’t stop either. So,  the show contains a surprising amount of depth and pathos, where you have two former foes, who are tired of being foes, but have invested too much in it to stop doing it.

The art takes a bit of getting used to, because its wholly unlike any other cartons on TV, and is very minimalist and deco.

Its an excellent cartoon ,worth watching on  Adult Swim, Saturdays at 11 PM.

 

Televsion and Movie Meta Linkspam

For your reading pleasure this weekend:

 

Get Out (2017)

Wow, there is so much meta being written about Get Out that its hard to keep track of it all. (Do these writers know thats what they’re doing?)Everybody has something to say aobut this movie, even when they dont have anything to contribute. For the record, I have seen this movie and I loved it as much as I’ve loved anything on the Key and Peele show. (And no, I dont have much more to add to the discussions Ive already read.) If you’ve ever watched that show, than Get Out is not some huge surprise for you, as you are well aware of Jordan Peele’s Horror credentials. For example, his zombie spoof is pretty deep:

 

And this spoof of vampire tropes is hilarious:

I dont have anything to add since people pretty much have every topic covered:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-why-get-is-invasion-black-body-snatchers-trump-985449

http://io9.gizmodo.com/get-out-is-a-horror-movie-only-a-black-person-could-hav-1792781911

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/get-out-what-black-america-knows-about-the-sunken_us_58c199f8e4b0c3276fb7824a

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/lets-talk-about-all-the-amazing-little-details-in-get-o-1792781479

 

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997)

Its the 20 year anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and yep, people are writing about it. I was total trash for this show. I used to watch it like a religious duty, and even back then I was drafting meta, in my head, about this show. For the record, I hated the movie it was based on, and I was prepared to ignore the show. I watched it off and on for the first season. Then the internet started writing about it, and I really revved up my watching in the middle of season two, after Angel became evil. (I didn’t completely understand what was happening but I caught up fast.)

Buffy is also one of the most written about and talked about shows in television history. There are aabout a bajillion books, articles, and websites, devoted to parsing everything from the fashions, to the plot, to the characters and language. 

http://www.whedonstudies.tv/slayage-the-journal-of-whedon-studies.html

http://lithub.com/10-famous-writers-on-loving-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/03/the-body-the-radical-empathy-of-buffys-best-episode/519051/

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/03/how-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-redefined-tv-storytelling/519174/

http://www.vox.com/culture/2017/3/10/14857542/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-explained-tv-influence

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/mar/10/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-at-20-the-thrilling-brilliant-birth-of-tv-as-art

http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/08/buffy-the-vampire-slayer/

http://io9.gizmodo.com/10-vital-storytelling-lessons-i-learned-from-buffy-the-1766651082

http://io9.gizmodo.com/20-things-we-still-love-about-buffy-the-vampire-slayer-1793132161

http://www.vulture.com/2017/03/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-twenty-years-greatest-legacy.html

 

Logan (2017)

I did go see Logan, as I promised. I was going to write a review, but a lot of people have  already written about the issues I would’ve covered in my review. It’s an excellent movie, btw, and  every bit as heartwrenching as you expect.

http://www.rogerebert.com/mzs/all-things-must-pass-the-emotional-reality-of-logan

http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/03/05/logan-the-things-we-leave-behind

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/why-we-needed-logan-to-kill-the-modern-superhero-movie-w470501

https://theringer.com/logan-and-conquering-pessimism-through-fatherhood-86d377ae85b9#.nsgel72hh

http://www.theverge.com/2017/3/6/14829768/logan-movie-wolverine-hugh-jackman-patrick-stewart-discussion-highs-lows

https://theringer.com/james-mangold-hugh-jackman-wolverine-logan-movie-review-1d5e5b9c5c93#.2oe0rp6ff

 

Moonlight (2016)

I haven’t seen this movie yet, but I’ve heard such wonderful things about it. I’ve seen a few clips come across my dash on Tumblr, which have me intrigued, and of course, it won Best Picture at the Oscar Awards.  I’ve made plans to watch the DVD soon, however.

Why I refuse to watch “Moonlight,” or any other film about race, with white people

View story at Medium.com

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/masculinity-and-moonlight-eight-black-men-dissect-barry-jenkins-momentous-film-1.3836460

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/21/moonlight-affirmation-gay-black-men-exist

http://www.mtv.com/news/2935326/moonlight-and-the-preservation-of-black-manhood/

https://contexts.org/blog/moonlight-trayvon-the-oscars-and-americas-fear-of-black-boys/

https://bitchmedia.org/article/shedding-moonlight-toxic-masculinity/problem-homophobia-not-gay-characters

 

Star Wars

http://www.kissmywonderwoman.com/2016/02/masculinity-monday-star-wars-finn-is.html

View story at Medium.com

A Hero, Just Not The Hero: Masculinity in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/columns/134072-lets-talk-about-finn-star-wars-the-force-awakens.html

 

Hidden Figures:

Yes, I’ve already seen this movie. I loved it, but as a long time Blerdgirl, I’m still processing my thoughts about it. I haven’t finished geeking out about it yet, but when I do, I’ll come back at you with some knowledge. Ideas are already percolating as I type.

http://latinasuprising.com/hidden-figures-feminism/

What’s Hiding Behind the Feel-Good Curtain of <i>Hidden Figures</i>: One Black Feminist’s Take

Taraji P Henson’s Hidden Figures is the intersectional feminist movie we need right now

ETA: This last link was removed because, while I have plenty of issues with feminism, I won’t tolerate any lying  MRA mansplaining bullshit on my blog.

 

Miscellaneous

http://www.chrisbrecheen.com/2012/06/8-things-prometheus-can-teach-you-about.html

https://clearancebinreview.com/2012/05/18/cinematic-soulmates-three-amigos-a-bugs-life-and-galaxy-quest/

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2015/10/pantomime-james-bond-reveals-tragedy-modern-white-masculinity

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rAM9EtJTHL_M6STjL7TyfUs9ew83v_fhYAlwI97hG5s/mobilebasic

 

Ofra Haza

This is my musical interlude for the week, while I work on some stuff, I’ve got coming up soon. I keep having to remind myself there’s no schedule for any of these posts. I don’t have to do them right away or in a timely fashion, as this is for fun, and not my job. But my inner Type A won’t shut the Hell up, so I will continue to have anxieties about late posts, I guess.

I first discovered Ofra at the tail end of her popularity in the early 90’s. My roommate had an album of Ofra Haza’s remixes ,of which Galbi and Im Nin Alu were my two favorites. Subsequently, that album did, in fact, go  missing (into my collection), after I “borrowed” it.

Ofra Haza was born in Tel Aviv, of Yemenite Jewish ancestry. She has since passed on. She died in 2000 of AIDS related pneumonia.

Tumblr Getting Serious

Here are some of the more troubling conversations occurring on Tumblr.

*Okay, anytime you have Dan Rather tapping his keynboard with hysteria on Facebook, (and yeah, this is Dan’s version of hysterics) you know you done fucked up!

Dan Rather Facebook Post (2/14/17)

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*Actually, I’ve sen this particular behavior all over the internet. Its especially prevalent in trolls and other assorted assholes, who like to think that if you can’t calmly discuss your life as a marginalized person, with someone attempting to devalue that life, that your opinions are invalid, and therefore, they have just won some kind of argument that no one was trying to have.

That and Portnow’s statement is just nonsensical.

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*Things like this basically amount to the erasure from History, of any contributions to culture that PoC may have made. This is why information like this matters, because when people don’t know this stuff, its easy to argue that we never did anything, that we’ve always been nothing but victims, and never contributed to the cultures we inhabited.

It is important not just that White people see these images, but that Black people see them, too because this isn’t so much about winning White people’s approval, as it is a celebration, and recognition, of our accomplishments, which counters the narrative of worthlessness that White supremacy insists on disseminating throughout the world.

Britain’s Biggest Secret – The Black Victorians

purpleolifant:

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Pictured above is the Higdon family. This photograph was taken in the year 1898 in Britain. That is all we know about them.

Who were the Black Victorians? Mainstream history has virtually erased them from our minds and history books. We have been filled with images of slavery in America and across the world, but why is it that this chapter in black history was skipped? Why isn’t it equally common knowledge that in the midst of all of that darkness there was light, also.

Never before seen photos were uncovered, giving us over 200 images of glances into our past. Many of the photos did not include names or any details whatsoever, cloaking these people in mystery for all of time.

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At one point in history, people of color were included in high society and walked the cobbled streets of Britain. The women wore intricate, voluminous gowns and wore their hair in curls and chignons. The men in suits and fair business. This may not have been the case for all black people in Britain, but for some it was.

The Victorian Era was ruled under Queen Victoria, an era that is described as an opulent culture, although there were underlying bouts of poverty and child labor. History would like you to believe that black people didn’t arrive in Britain until 1948 during “The Empire Windrush”, when many Jamaican descendants entered the country, but that is not so. There has been proof to suggest otherwise. There is documentation that proves that it wasn’t uncommon to see black faces at a Shakespeare show. We’ve been there all along, humming softly in the background.

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These images prove that you can’t take mainstream history at face value. Take the time to look behind the curtain and uncover OUR history. It’s as if our ancestors are just waiting for us to seek them out.

Who were the Black Victorians?

To see more of these images check out this video reel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08mwrYUzPqI

Happy Black History Month.

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*On Racism in Fandom, and choosing, or not choosing, a side:

If you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?

thecheshirecass:

Forgive the cheesiness of the Hamilton quote, but when it comes to fandom, this is a question that all fans (but particularly white, cishet fans) need to ask themselves.

Make no mistake – when it comes to the treatment of marginalized fans, especially fans of color and in particular black fans, there is no such thing as neutrality. The sides are established by the racist, homophobic, and transphobic members of the fandom, and it’s your choice whether you are on their side, or the side of the marginalized. It’s a simple question – will you be on the side of the oppressor or the oppressed?

When it comes to harmful and oppressive behavior, you cannot simply sit back in silence and watch the horror show go by – silence is violence and when you do not speak out, you quietly condone bad behavior. Is that fair? Maybe not, but neither is life.

I’ve seen the argument over and over again that people don’t want to “engage.” Fandom is their escape, their safe space, where they go to forget the troubles of the real world – which would be fine if you didn’t’ also bring the biases and cultural baggage of the ‘real world” with you to fandom. It would be fine if your safe space didn’t come at the expense of the marginalized BUT IT DOES. When you ignore our mistreatment you condone it, and your escapist fantasies hinge on us quietly taking the abuse meted out by shitheels like  @geeky-jez, @adjectivebear, and @oldstupidtemplar.

Now, does this mean you have to constantly make callout posts? Nope, not even close. But there are plenty of us who do, or who discuss the racism and other faults inherent in fandom on the regular. Don’t feel personally up to leading the charge when it comes to fandom’s terrible behavior? Well then it’s time to share the voices of those who do. Your lack of input on any given issue leaves marginalized fans wondering where you stand – relogging our words, NOT sharing the content of problematic members of the community, and generally trying to be aware are basic steps you can take to show your solidarity.

Like it or not, you are going to be on a side, so make sure it’s the side you genuinely want to be on.

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*Actually, I’m hoping this essay isn’t true, and that Rosita was just being salty with Sasha, because the alternative is too painful to contemplate. Everyone was able to save Sasha, but I’m getting a very bad feeling that no one will be able to save Rosita.

Rosita was salty AF because Sasha got the Michonne treatment.

helenasmirkedno:

melanie91bunnylovr:

fangirlnovel:

Rosita was salty AF because Sasha didn’t just sleep with Abraham.

He was in love with her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted to make her full of his babies. She was his lady.

And Rosita was someone he used to fuck.

Rick’s gonna officially marry Michonne.  As soon as they find Father Gabriel, I am telling y’all.  He has the same heart eyes Abe used to have Sasha, or Glenn had for Maggie.  And Michonne’s whispering about how they’re the one’s that live.

I mean, that is it for them–there is no one else.  Rick knows it.  Michonne knows it.  Y’all know.

I like rosita and everything but she was getting on my last nerve this episode

I hate how bitter & reactive Rosita’s character is being written the last few episodes. Sasha is not her enemy and the writers shouldn’t be forcing cattiness on her from Rosita.

Rosita isn’t “salty” or jealous of Sasha.

She’s going through the last stages of deep depression right before a suicide attempt, (-pushing people away, fatalistic mindset, etc).

Negan beat Abraham to death and then after failing to goad her, beat Glenn to death and took Daryl.  Then when she tried to commit suicide by Negan and take him out at the same time by shooting him, it backfired and Olivia was killed instead.

That scar she carries on her face is emblematic of that deeper pain.  In the scene where she received the scar, she was literally daring Negan and Co. to kill her for her mistake, and they didn’t.  They killed yet another person on her watch, while she lives with it being, in her mind “her fault”.

I’m honestly, disappointed in the line of thought in this post, because it might come from a similar place to the lack of empathy we’ve witnessed for Sasha’s pain.  Shs was called all kinds of bitter, annoying, angry, when really she was just hurting; going through her PTSD.  …All because she’s a black woman.

Rosita isn’t some basic angry “fiery” jealous Latina, mad because she was jilted… She’s beenbeyond that.

Every line she gave was a sign of a defeatist fatalistic mindset.  What’s the use trying because it will go wrong anyway.” The unspoken train of thought is that people died and will continue to die, and she’ll probably have a hand getting those people killed.

That’s why she spoke to Sasha and Morgan in that way she did about the deaths.

It’s also probably the reason why she stashed that bundle of dynamite, because she’s planning on rectifying her “mistakes”.

Rosita isn’t jealous or mean or a being an annoying bitch….

SHE’S BEING SUICIDAL, because she hates herself for what she sees as her role in getting the people she loves killed. If you were paying attention to the episode where Denise got killed, she actually read Rosita correctly, right before that arrow went through her head (yet another lost life on Rosita’s conscience, where she probably thinks she didn’t push the issue enough of her staying behind).

Rosita is a deeply sensitive empathic person, who gives everything to everyone else.  That’s why she’s acting this way.  ….She can’t have people caring enough to get themselves killed for her again (hell, even Spencer’s sorry ass was another one she thinks is on her, because she was the only one with clues to what he would attempt).

Her whole M.O. for who and why she’s survived this long is her love and caring for others. Her selflessness, to the point where it just wasn’t emotionally healthy.  …But, it helped her survive the zombie apocalypse.

Everything that you see Rosita doing, is her purposely pushing people away so they won’t miss her when she’s gone after she “corrects” her “mistakes”.

We know what it is to see WOC’s pain dismissed because of super-basic and wrong unfeeling, bitchy stereotypes.

Can we not do that to Rosita?

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*MikeyMagee breaks down why La La Land, while a perfectly acceptable movie,  isn’t nearly as groundbreaking as people would have you believe, relying as it does, on the safety of White nostalgia, for its accolades.

mikeymagee

Anonymous asked:

Can I ask you why do you hate La La Land? I mean, I loved Moonlight too, but I liked La La Land a lot more.

Let me start off by saying that I really enjoyed La La Land. I didn’t hate it at all. I enjoy old Hollywood films. I liked Singing in the Rain, and Meet Me in St. Louis, and Victor/Victoria and Rogers and Hammerstein musicals. And as an homage to those kinds of films, La La Land was wonderful

But…that’s about all it is. La La Land (while nice for what it is) wasn’t anything innovative, or new. Instead of breaking new ground it instead returned to an old past that prided itself on exclusion (and let’s be real, old Hollywood was all about excluding nonwhites and LGBT individuals.)

And the movie approaches all of its subjects  from a very Eurocentric perspective. It’s a very white film, and that was very apparent as I watched it. Take Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) who wanted to “save jazz” and was disturbed by his friend Keith’s more modern interpretation of the genre. When Sebastian was busy shaking his head at Keith’s innovation all I could do was sit there and think “Well, what’s Keith supposed to do? He’s working in an industry that routinely celebrates white mediocrity and ignores Black innovation!” Keith was a black man who had to work even harder to make a dent in the same industry that Sebastian was working in as well. That’s how racism works.

When Sebastian was talking about the history of Jazz, he left out many (racial) aspects of it. Like how it was spread by the Harlem Hellfighters in World War I, how Jazz was originally played by and for black people. That when white people began to play Jazz they had more access to high end bookings, and shows, etc. When Sebastian said he wanted to keep Jazz from dying, all I could think of was, “Well, maybe you should keep your white gentrifying hands off of it then…”

And then there was Mia (Emma Stone) who was working to be an actress. And her struggles there in. And all I could think about was how far more difficult it would be for an actress of color in her shoes. At least Mia had roles she could audition for. For a lot of nonwhite actresses simply having a script that requires a nonwhite woman is a luxury.

I mean, with all the stuff going on in America right now, I don’t think a film that runs on nostalgia and an over romantic view of  America’s history is good. And if a film is going to get that much critical acclaim (I mean, 14 Oscar noms?) then I’m expecting it to break new ground and forge a path ahead. But La La Land did not do that. In fact, it did the exact opposite.

Moonlight, is without a doubt, my favorite film of the year. And yeah, I may be biased because I’m a black gay man, but I don’t really care. It’s hard to find movies that showcase the Black identity. And it’s hard to find movies that showcase the gay identity. And it’s damn near impossible to find movies that show off the black gay identity. And believe me, I’ve looked. There are great black gay films out there (Blackbird, Rag and Tag, Naz and Malik, Brother 2 Brother, to name a couple). But Moonlight is in another league altogether. Moonlight actually starts a conversation in both of those communities. It looks hypermasculinity within the black community and outlines the consequences, and it shows that there are such a thing as Black Queers (something the LGBT community hasn’t figured out yet). And as Black Queers our experiences diverge from white LGBT experiences and black heterosexual experiences. It’s an entirely new narrative that gets no spotlight in the mainstream (and frankly, it still hasn’t. Moonlight was an indie film on a shoestring budget that isn’t even playing in commercial theaters anymore.)

Moonlight is a movie that requires contemplation. It’s not easily digestible like La La Land. It challenges as well as illuminates. Moonlight forces people to look at themselves and their ideals. It makes you uncomfortable and has a longer impression. La La Land is just more of the same. It’s nice for what it is, but I hate that people are going insane over a movie that’s been done a thousand times, and will continue to be done.

It’s as I said before, white mediocrity will always be rewarded at a higher rate than black innovation, and that’s what’s driving me nuts.

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*Actually, its almost like if you build it, they will come. I’m glad this is happening really, although I don’t necessarily feel that White people have anything to offer, in conversation, on some of these shows. But I’m glad other people are at least willing to give the shows a try and get something positive from them.

It’s almost like we’re all human beings, imagine that.

It’s almost like that “diversity agenda” that bigots tout is actually making stories that haven’t been told a million times before and people enjoy that.

Source:
 

Kip Adotta

Kip Adotta is a Cleveland comedian mostly famous for a bunch of parody songs written during the eighties and nineties. He was one of my favorite comedians growing up. The first time I heard the song Wet Dream, I think I was about 14, and  it just tickled the Hell out of me.

For some reason Kip likes to appear in his music videos dressed in a fedora and trenchcoat, but do’nt hold that against him. He’s actually pretty funny. If you like ridiculous puns and juvenile whimsy, he’s your guy.

If you’re old enough to remember The Dr. Demento show, then you will probably remember at least a couple of these songs.

 

 

Misc. Tumblr Shenanigans

Just a general list of hooliganism that Tumblr is getting up to lately.

Beyonce’s Pregnancy!

Beyoncé just kicked off Black History Month right with that announcement, Black joy in full effect

Source:
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y’all are saying that beyonce’s twins are gonna be geminis or leos I hope they spite y’all and they’re cancers

ME TOO

WE’RE GONNA KEEP SPEAKING IT INTO EXISTENCE IT’S GONNA HAPPEN

Source:
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wattstheproblem replied to your posty’all are saying that beyonce’s twins are gonna be…

   i rebuke this in the name of the lord, theyre gonna be virgos

I CAST YOU OUT IN JESUS’ NAME

 

Happy Black History Month

How is this a positive way to celebrate your heritage? Sad.

But did you die?

blunttholder Deactivated

WE CELEBRATE HOW WE WANT BITCH. DONT WORRY BOUT US

jailasoul Deactivated

^^^^ Oop

sexysmirkemoji Deactivated

This just made my day 36874x better

tshawnraw Deactivated

It keeps getting better

nigeah Deactivated

I would like to thank god for black people

cause we don’t give a fuck!

hersheywrites Deactivated

This post has gotten 8043220x better since last night. I love us. Someone said but “did you die?” I’m crying.

That Michelle Obama gif is so important to me

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2017!!!!

I know I shouldn’t have found this hella funny but I just couldn’t help it. Those gifs are everything. Especially that first one.

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Black Superpowers! Don’t tell anybody. We don’t want this getting out.

If you’re black you’re in tune with the lord of the universe and can warp reality at your command. Little known secret.

Some blacks don’t know they have telepathy until another black uses their telepathy near them.

It’s called the Nigga Neural Network

Most Black People usually discover they have Nigga Neural Network, or NNN, when a white person does something foolish in public and you somehow manage to find and make eye contact with the nearest Black Person available whether you knew they were in the vicinity or not

This is usually indicated by either an eyeroll or an up-nod of recognition.

Source:

The Oscars and the Face-Off between Moonlight and La La land

http://mikeymagee.tumblr.com/post/156417844628/can-i-ask-you-why-do-you-hate-la-la-land-i-mean

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Moonlight and the Limitation of Masculinity

image

Going over Moonlight (2016) again, I’ve noticed Barry Jenkins recurring theme of showcasing Chiron’s (and Kevin’s) backs. In each act (from Lil, to Chiron, to Black) the has a long shot of the subject’s back. (Long Post under the cut)

Keep reading

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https://www.rt.com/op-edge/375816-lala-trump-great-america-hollywood/

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Tumblr Headcanaons about Folklore

*I loved this particular take on the story of The Swan Maiden.

the-last-hair-bender:

roachpatrol:

charminglyantiquated:

so if there’s one single trope i’m always down to fight it’s the animal bride (folklore motif 402??) which a lot of you are probably familiar with as the selkie – the fisherman either falls in love, steals her skin to trap her on land/gain power over her, or they fall in love and THEN he steals her skin to keep her from leaving, and either way she spends a lot of time gazing sadly out to sea and then she or her child finds the skin and never returns again.
and that’s awful on a whole lot of levels – it’s not love, it’s control.

BUT. but the thing is. you how selkies/seal women was a pretty common variation of this? another really popular one was swans.

i just want you to think about that for a moment. swans. like…I get it, they’re pretty, graceful birds, certainly it’s easy to imagine them magically becoming pretty graceful ladies? but have you ever fought a swan. swans are awful. swans are the devil’s geese. imagine seeing a pretty magic lady and being absolutely enchanted by her, and stealing her magic feather cloak, and then you go up and say ‘hey i’m in love with you, let me make you my queen, it will be great, we’ll be so happy’ and she just looks at you for a moment and…

you know i was going to say maybe she just shouts for her sisters and suddenly you’rerealizing you’ve made a terrible terrible mistake bc you’re surrounded by big fucking birds who are all hissing. but honestly if this swan lady is as aggressively down to brawl as any other generally unhappy swan, then she’d straight up fuck you up on her own. she’d just deck you roundhouse, honestly. you don’t fuck with swans. why does this trope exist

okay but consider this: a woman walks to the park every day and feeds the swans and watches them paddle gracefully around the lake, sighing to see how beautifully they swim.

finally one day, a swan comes up to her and says ‘why don’t you come and swim with us? you always sigh so wistfully to see us on the water, and you would be most welcome to join our company, for you have always been a true friend to our kind’

and the woman says, ‘i can’t swim’

and the swan says, ‘we’ll teach you’

and the woman says, ‘literally i can’t swim, my husband stole my sealskin and should i venture into deep water i would surely drown’

and the swan says ‘your husband fucking WHAT’

the next morning the woman’s front yard looks like this.

image

and neither the woman nor her husband are ever heard from again, though for very different reasons.

OH MY GOD.

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On Introverts

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites.introverts

And my personal favorite, as it happens to echo my exact thoughts sometimes:introverts

*Is it just me or does anybody else just get tired of hearing their friends talking to you sometimes? Like “Would u please shut up!” Only you actually like them, and don’t want to hurt their feelings, so you just grit your teeth and smile.

Learning About Introversion

I think I speak for all of us when I say that it can be VERY annoying to be called names and have people assume things about us that just isn’t true. That being said, books and articles are a great way for non-introverted people to learn more about what introversion is and how to best interact with introverts. Do you guys know of any good books, articles, or other sources about introversion?

Note: This is also a chance for introverts to seek out sources for themselves as well. Learning about oneself is a great way to spend your alone time. 🙂

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites

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Characters that need to just die, cuz yeah I hate this character, too.

Dear Sleepy Hollow (and Hollywood in general) RETIRE THIS RACIST STOCK CHARACTER.

sleepynegress:

image

We’ve all seen her. The black lady behind the counter. She’s dead-eyed, mono-toned, usually larger than average, and middle-aged.

She doesn’t give a shit about what you need.

She is the personification of red tape.  She is always a hindrance, merely there for the white hero and the audience watching to be annoyed at.

The audience rolls their eyes and thinks “Ugh, fuck this lady.” and take that shitty media programmed baggage out into the world when they deal with actual real life black women who work these positions and are often the most patient, helpful, “get you through this system despite it holding me down too” people.

It’s shitty and tired and disgusting and it programs people to see black women as annoying attitude-having hindrances by default.

STOP IT.

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Mocking  Stupidity. I reblogged this one for the insult, also I hate coleslaw. Where’s the lie?

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*And finally new nicknames for 45. There’s a whole website devoted to miscalling this  “Gibbering Mango”

The Orange Fire Monkey,

The Orange Fire Chicken

Hair Hitler

Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames

The Donald — Ivana Trump (she first used the term in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O’Donnell
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin (who was NOT trying to be funny!)
Short-Fingered Vulgarian — Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he seems to think it implies that he is under-endowed “down there”)
Tiny Hands Trump, Babyfingers Trump and Pixie Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch (nicknames based on Graydon Carter’s nickname above)
The Most Fabulous Whiner — after Donald Trump described himself to CNN’s Chris Cuomo as the “most fabulous whiner” who keeps “winning by whining”
Fuckface von Clownstick, Man-Baby, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole — Jon Stewart
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Agent Orange — Anonymous

LMAO Tumblr Day

*This just had me giggling all morning.  I’ve  loved Keegan Michael Key since his MadTv days.

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Snoop is so silly!

Btw, if you haven’t seen his cooking show with Martha Stewart, then check it out. Its a fun half hour, and the two of them have great comedic chemistry. They genuinely appear to be friends and like each other, which is kinda cute.

popelizbet-blog:
“ weavemama:
“SNOOP DOGG IS A SAVAGE FOR THIS
”
Snoop save us.
”karnythia Source: weavemama

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Here’s some general tomfoolery on Twitter!

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*I love the little squishy in this picture. He reminded me of Gary Larson. He’s giving somebody the side-eye, tho’.

fruitsgood:
“ dawwwwfactory:
“Mom’s potato staring at me across the room
”
this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like
”
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/91/49/3f/91493fa3b015a8a8f42d1f9df4a2f1fc.jpg

fruitsgood:

dawwwwfactory:

Mom’s potato staring at me across the room

this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like

 

*Does anybody remember the cartoonist Gary Larson. I have a bunch of his books in my collection,my all-time favorite is  titled  Wiener Dog Art.

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*I can’t even laugh too hard at this because I remember back in the seventies, everybody had this type of artwork on their walls in my neighborhood. I remember staring in fascination because one of my neighbors had a picture on his wall of a half naked Black woman with a giant black panther. It looked like it had been painted on velvet. I do have a special hatred for anything painted on velvet after that.

Ankh art

ankh-niggas-anonymous:

-naked black woman
-sometimes has third eye
-always light-skinned
-hourglass shape (maybe a fatter ass tho. maybe.)
-perky titties no matter what size
-huge afro or long locs
-always doing some ‘spiritual shit’ like meditation or praying or watever
-she not christian tho, cuz christianity is the white man’s religion
-always in some sort of ‘natural environment’ i.e. the woods, the ocean, the sky
-is mystical because???
-a picture of africa somewhere in the art, either as jewelry or a tattoo
-something about the woman’s vagina being powerful bc can Procreate
-in case woman is in a relationship, it is ALWAYS with a man
-the man is darkskinned
-the man treats the woman like royalty and/or goddess, but not like an actual person
-some fake deep statement??? that makes no sense whatsoever and actually goes against all logic and common sense

reverseracism Source: ankh-niggas-anonymous

See!

Related image

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*And lastly, I’d like to introduce all of you to The Liberal Redneck. He is one of the funniest White men on Youtube and one of the few White people who has managed to make me laugh about the upcoming wtf*ery that is US politics. Check out , and subscribe to, all his other videos on Youtube.

New Year Rules and Regulations

According to my Mom, there are a number of rules and regulations that one must abide by to have good fortune in the new year. I’m just a tiny bit superstitious, somewhat tradition minded (it keeps me in touch with my ancestors), and it’s relatively harmless.

On New Years Eve one is spend the day in quiet reflection. Partying and drinking doesn’t occur til much later, I guess.

Today is to be spent doing something you love. Something calm and comforting and probably something to recover from the night’s exertions. So the order of the day is breakfasting and happy times with friends and family, knitting, reading, or watching bad movies, whatever it is that brings you personal happiness and harms no one. In other words be self indulgent just this one day.

You are required to eat black eyed peas, with cornbread, whether you like it or not. I believe this is non-negotiable. I know it’s not very indulgent, if you don’t like black eyed peas, but do it anyway.😠😠

Do not ring water from any towels today. If you have wet towels you can only squeeze the water out with your hands. Don’t do laundry. Actually this is a good excuse not to wash anything in the house except yourself., and if you’re feeling especially lazy, or hungover, don’t do that either.

If you have visitors today, make sure your first visitor is a man, who steps in your front door, right foot first. Apparently women visitors are bad luck or something. I’m not sure how this works if your visitors are somewhere on the LGBT spectrum, though.

But above all else, spend your first day doing something you want to enjoy doing the rest of the year, with the people you love.

Forthcoming Movies 2017

This is a  somewhat premature list of the movies I’m most interested in  next year. Unfortunately, Black Panther isn’t coming out next year, so it’s not on this list ,although Star Wars 8 is being released, so that’s cool.

My big thing next year is the new Wolverine movie titled Logan. I love the trailer for this movie, and I enjoyed the Old man Logan series. I’m also a big fan of Wolverine’s kids, Daken and X-23, so this movie is a big yes for me, even though I don’t think Daken is in it because he is very openly gay, and the MCU is as allergic to gay representation,  as it is to positive Asian representation.

My second big yippee! is Luc Besson’s Valerian. I’ve seen every one  of Besson’s films since La Femme Nikita in 1990, and if you haven’t seen that, you need to get right on it, as it still holds up as a female lead action movie. Valerian looks like its going to be too much fun.

January

Hidden Figures –

I like the idea of telling Black stories that don’t involve us being tortured by White people. Also, I love Black women in Science.

A Monster Calls –

I probably won’t go see this because just the trailer brought me to tears. I’m going to be a blubbering mess in a theater.

Underworld: Blood Wars

I think everything that would’ve been said about Selene’s story was told in the first movie. I have completely lost any interest in this character.

Monster Trucks

I think this movie is supposed to be fun, but the monster in the truck just looks terrifying.

X3: Xander Cage –

The XXX movies are very possibly the funniest, most ridiculous stunt movies ever made. It’s hard not believe this  isn’t a parody.

Resident Evil: The FInal Chapter –

Hmmmmm! No!

I had no particular plans to see any of these movies in January, but I thought I’d list them just in case any of you were interested and I was trying to look fair by showing the trailers.

Psych! I’m not seeing any of these until they’re officially on DVD, approximately five days after their release.

February

Rings –

A mashup of Ju-On and The Ring

John Wick II –

This looks as much fun as the original.

The Great Wall –

Nope! Its got dragons in it but I really don’t feel like looking at Matt Damon’s face again so soon after I’ve  watched Jason Bourne.

Get Out – This looks hilarious in a Dave Chappelle kind of way.

Of these five movies, I only plan to see Get Out, which is a movie produced and directed by the creators of Key& Peele.  I love that show, so I’m highly interested in the movie.

I loved the first John Wick, and I wasn’t expecting to. I thought it would be a typical, middle-of-the-road, action flick, but it turned out to be okay, and more than a little fun. Keanu Reeves is playing a character that perfectly suits him.

I wouldn’t piss on that Great Wall movie if you paid me. I’m getting a little tired of Hollywood not letting Asians be the stars of their own stories, and quite frankly its starting to look more than a little  creepy that that’s what Hollywood is doing, even to people who don’t normally pay attention to that kind of stuff.

I’m going to ignore the existence of Rings. Just the thought of it is scary. We really don’t need a mashup of Ju-On and The Ring. Well, I don’t, but if you like that sort of thing,  Happy Screaming to You!

March

Logan –

I love this trailer. Johnny Cash songs get me every time.

Kong of Skull Island –

I wouldn’t normally care about this except Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Hiddleston are back together again, and it looks like it takes place entirely on the island, and that Kong appears to be winning.

Beauty and the Beast –

I’ll just stick with the animated version, mostly for the music. “Be Our Guest” is one of my favorite Disney songs ,of all time, so there’s nothing this movie could offer me that would top that entire sequence.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – ?

Power Rangers –

Back down memory lane, y’all! I used to watch this  ridiculous show with my little sisters. This looks waaay better than the TV show. I may take my niece to see this if she’s amenable.

Ghost in the Shell –

A big ol’ fat NO! I’ll just watch the original anime. The trailer doesn’t make me want to see this, and I’m  really tired of looking at Scarlett Johansen.

The standout movie for this month will be Logan.

April

Fast 8 – I’m only just getting into this franchise. I kinda liked the last two movies, and its got a very colorful cast, who all seem to like each other and get along well.

Lost City of Z – I read this book some time ago, and I’m a sucker for movies set in Jungles. I don’t know why.

May

The Autopsy of Jane Doe –

Looks intriguing. I won’t see it in the  theater but I will wait for the DVD.

Guardians of the Galaxy II –

My niece will definitely talk me into going to see this movie, so I really don’t have a choice about this, if I want to have peace in the house. (And I love Groot too, so…)

Pirates of the Caribbean #23 –

Whah?

Baywatch – Okay, I’ll bite. Why would I want to see this movie about a TV show that I loathed? Okay, other than the nice pecs?

June

Wonder Woman –

Naaw! I’m good.

The Mummy – But not that good, apparently. I could be talked into this one by a wayward relative.

World War Z II – Hey! I loved the books, but I like Brad Pitt, too. I can’t let him down. He needs me.

Kingsman II – I didn’t really enjoy the first film. I mostly tolerated it and parts of it were disturbing, and annoying. The creators are going to have to smarten this one up, or dumb it down, to get me to watch this.

So once again we’re getting almost nothing but sequels and remakes being released this summer.  I don’t actually  get as upset over this as some people, as I’ve enjoyed, and will enjoy, a number of sequels. I’m just making a note of this.

Also, I don’t plan to see everything that gets released, so I don’t get frustrated about that sort of stuff. As I mentioned earlier, I’m on a limited budget when it comes to movies, so I carefull choose what movies I’ll be seeing well in advance. Going to the movies is never an  impulse event in our house, where we’re just looking for something to do on a Friday night.

July – None of the rest of these movies have trailers yet, so except for Valerian, I haven’t decided if I’ll see them.

Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets – Looks like fun.

Spiderman:Homecoming – Hmmm…maybe. I like the little guy whose playing him and Zendaya is in it, although I have since heard she’s not playing Mary Jane. I need to see a trailer before I commit.

War for the Planet of the Apes – I haven’t watched any of the others movies, so I’m not gonna start with this one.

The Dark Tower –  Well, duh! I’ve got to support my precious cinnamon bun, Idris Elba.

August

Alien Covenant – No trailer, no commitment.

CHiPS – I remember watching the Hell out of this  TV show as a child. Even then, it was  obvious, that the motorcycles were the stars of the show. I remember othing at all about the human cast, but I think there was a woman in there somewhere, though.

This is by no means a complete list. I”ll have more though, as more trailers are released.

The Final Girls (2015)

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

Normally, I plan my Horror movie reviews,  for October, well in advance of Halloween, but this one surprised me. I’d never heard of it until a few days ago. I originally confused this movie with another movie about serial killers, with the same title, called Final Girl, which was released the same year. Final Girl is also a comedy but the two movies are very different.

The Final Girls is a rather broad parody of serial killer movies from the eighties, with all their various tropes, specifically the  Friday the 13th movies, and  the movie Sleepaway Camp. There’s also some elements of the Scream  movies. Some modern day teenagers get trapped in an eighties horror movie and have to try to survive to the end of it. To that end, they use their knowledge of horror movies, in general ,and the specific horror movie they’ve landed in, to try to navigate their way through the movie. Nothing goes as planned.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

About 25 years ago, Max’s actress mother, Amanda, starred in a horror movie called Camp Bloodbath, and can’t seem to live it down, as she’s having difficulty finding other roles. After one such audition, Max and Amanda are involved in a car crash and Amanda’s mother dies. Three years later, Max is still grieving for her, but has some new friends, and a crush on a guy named Chris.

All of them get invited to a special screening of her mother’s old movie and its new sequel, Camp Bloodbath II. When the theater catches fire, Max, Chris, her best friend Gertie, a bitchy girl named Vicki, and Gertie’s stepbrother, Duncan,  try to escape the fire by tearing their way through the movie screen, only to find themselves stuck in the movie. Duncan is an expert on serial killer movies and Camp Bloodbath specifically. One of the funniest moments is them sitting by the side of the road, trying to figure out where they are, and if they are indeed, in a movie.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

In a moment of prime surreality, Max meets her actress mother, years before she became her Mom, as the nice girl stereotype named Nancy. Max spends the rest of the movie trying  to save Amanda’s life, even though on some level she knows these aren’t real people. Its a bittersweet moment, as you can tell that seeing her mother alive and well again is having a real effect on Max. She tries to advise and guide her without telling her that she’s Amanda’s  unborn daughter.

The Camp counselors consist of the usual throwaway characters including a randy horndog, named Kurt, who everyone thinks is disgusting, except for the girls in the Bloodbath movie. There’s Tina, the camp sexpot, and the actual Final Girl of Camp Bloodbath, Paula. The Black guy of course, is killed almost immediately. Since one of the rules of serial killer movies is that whoever has sex dies, the  modern crew spend most of the movie trying to keep what characters they can from having sex. After Duncan gets killed, they learn that their own lives are fodder for the killer, named Billy.

Billy is played as a straight killer, in the mold of Jason rather than Freddie, with much the same backstory.  We learn this when the modern day teens get caught in a flashback, within the movie, in the movie (and believe they’ve gone colorblind.) Billy  doesn’t crack jokes, or cackle menacingly. He’s actually pretty terrifying, really, which just makes the movie funnier, as no one takes him as seriously as they should with Duncan deciding he wants a selfie with him.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

One of the funniest moments, for me, is when they put Tina in restraints, kitchen mitts, and extra clothing to keep her from having sex or taking her clothes off. Tina, who is best classified as a very dim bulb, doesn’t understand any of it. Bless her heart! At one point, Vicki tries to explain  that her cellphone is actually a  phone, and Tina just laughs at her.

When Paula gets killed, they decide to take matters into their own hands. Without Paula to be the Final Girl,  they elect Max as the only virgin. Her job is to kill Billy just like in the original film. Killing Billy is probably the only way they can escape the movie. So they lure Billy to the camp by using Tina as bait, by allowing her to take off her clothes, and booby trapping the entire house. During Billy’s siege of the camp, most of the other characters get killed. Only Chris, Nancy and Max escape, and Chris is wounded, when Billy kidnaps Nancy.

Max is desperate to save Nancy and goes after her . She manages to free Nancy but is wounded in the attempt. In order for there to be a Final Girl, one of the girls must die, though. Nancy sacrifices herself but not before Max confesses to her that she is the movie counterpart to her late mother. Now, as the Final Girl, Max has the superpowers to defeat Billy. After killing him with his own machete, she wakes up in the hospital to find all her friends are alive again, but unfortunately, they are all now  stuck in the sequel.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

I had a lot of fun watching this movie. I loved the dialogue, the sight gags, all of it. I especially liked the character’s relationships with each other. Normally these types of movies are full of people you are hoping will be killed, but with the exception of Kurt, who is kinda “rapey”, and thereby disgusting, most of them are sweet, but not too bright. Even the modern characters, while snarky, are not actually mean, and some of them even make fun of which stereotypes they are, with Vicki making cracks about being the “mean girl”. I laughed the hardest at some of the throwaway lines the modern teens lobbed at the movie teens, who were too dim to understand.

I especially liked Max’s relationship with Nancy. The two of them spend some amount of time bonding, and you can see all of Max’s grief and longing, when she talks to Nancy, while  trying not to reveal who she is.  Nancy asks her, a couple of times, why she cares about her so much, and Max stutters to come up with a reason for why she’s attached herself to this girl. I like that the women aren’t just sexy floor lamps. They affect the plot as much as they can, considering their circumstances, and manage to contribute a lot of one-liners to the discussion. The movie teens have no idea how funny they are. They play it completely straight, while the modern teens are deliberately snarky, because they can’t believe the situation they’re in.

 

There are several girls in the movie and they all  talk to each other, support each other when they can, and are largely non-judgmental about one another. For example, no one considers Tina’s cat-in-heat behavior, to be at all remarkable. They just take it in stride that she’s gonna try to hump anything that moves, and/or take her clothes off. They try to stop that because it attracts Billy, not because they judge her as being bad.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

The modern teens are surprisingly intelligent, and some of the funniest moments is watching them come up with a plans to defeat the movie they’re trapped in, but it doesn’t matter because, according to the laws of teen killer movies, there can be only one survivor, so everyone keeps having horrible accidents, as the movie attempts to correct itself.

This strongly reminded me of the movie Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, as it has much of the same kind of silly, slapstick humor.  The kind of humor that’s  not predicated on people being bitchy or unlikable. As an example, I give you Grizzly Park, which is a movie about a bear, hunting and killing teenagers, at a summer camp. The people in that movie, are quite possibly some of the most unlikable characters I’ve ever watched  in a movie, and at some point, I wished all of them would hurry up and be mauled by the bear, so the movie could end. I watched that movie with my Mom, an old veteran of these kinds of movies, and even she cheered for the bear.

Image result for grizzly park

And it was very refreshing to watch a movie made in 2015, where you care about the people being killed. Ordinarily, the killer seems to be the focus of any  movies made after Scream, and you root for  him, or the people he’s killing are so annoying that you pray for their deaths. And its also quite a contrast to movies made in the 80’s, where the teens seemed to like each other. Teens were annoying in the movies back then, and the movies were deeply sexist, but the teens weren’t bad people, and I didn’t spend the movie wishing for them to die.

Since I saw this on a family oriented network, I can assume its mostly safe for teens, but not for little kids under a certain age maybe, as there is a certain amount of gore, language, and sexual situations.

This movie was a surprise like for me, as I wasn’t expecting it to be so good, and I’m adding it to my comedy/ horror list, along with Tucker and Dale, Shaun of the Dead , and The Addam’s Family.

Luke Cage: Shouting Out

There’s gonna be some spoilers here, just like  all the Luke Cage stuff I post. Lots and lots of spoilers. So if you haven’t watched the series, but plan to, read at your own risk.

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The opening credits  reminded me  of the legend of John Henry, as images of city buildings are transposed over the muscular body of Luke Cage. They’re also in keeping with the general aesthetic of the Netflix MCU  opening credits. The plot itself is a typical MCU tv series plot. You have a protagonist who isn’t looking to be a hero because of some past betrayal or trauma, the nemesis who is personal to the hero and wants to take him or her down, various side characters the hero might have to save or become deeply important to them during the series run, the hero becomes increasingly endangered, the eventual takedown of their nemesis, usually during a big fight scene. 

It’s a typical MCU plot. But it’s the stuff layered over this basic plot, the characterizations, and background scenery, that makes Luke Cage extraordinary for Marvel. We get sounds and images not seen in any of the other MCU projects. For example:

Luke Cage is a reader. (I haven’t read too much about the literary mentions in this  series, but I  have read most of the authors mentioned in the show, and was hoping for some articles on the subject.) We see Luke reading in the barbershop in which he works. Walter Mosely, Donald Goines, and  Chester Himes all get shoututs while Luke helps Pop at his barbershop, which is a fitting base of operations for him, as such shops (beauty parlours for the women) are often the cornerstones, and information warehouses, for a neighborhood.

 Pops is partial to the vigilante, Kenyatta, created by Donald Goines, while Luke prefers the characters of  Chester Himes, and we can see him reading one of Walter Mosley’s books in this opening scene, when he mentions he’s a fan of Easy Rawlings, the character from Devil in a Blue Dress. Later, he mentions Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch. All of these writers specialize in writing great American hero thrillers, involving Detectives, and various independents, fighting corrupt systems. Basically they’re heroic power fantasies, like comic books but without the superpowers and costumes, and the show does have the flavor of such novels, and contains plot points right out of a few of them. 

Contrast Luke’s reading material with Cottonmouth’s and Diamondback’s influences, neither of whom we see doing a lot of reading. He and Diamondback are fans of Green’s 48 Laws of Power, with several mentions of the movie, New Jack City, which was also about a Black man making criminal power plays in his neighborhood. I’ve  read Robert Green, and no, it is not an instruction manual on how to live, any  more than Machiavelli ‘s The Prince . It’s a meant to be a manual about how to recognize when and what power tactics are being used against you. A lot of young men use it as a manual on how to be a better criminal, but  its mostly meant as a way to recognize political corruption, not how to do it. But it’s very popular amongst a certain class of powerless, young, black men, who seek knowledge, and guidance, but don’t have anyone in their life to give them those things. That Diamondback was a fan of that book wasn’t the least surprising to me. 

In fact, I was able to predict a lot of the actions of most of the criminals in the series because a lot of their choices come right out of those books. (Also, I must be pretty criminal minded because a lot of their actions make sense within the idea of impersonal criminal activity.) From who to kill, to who to leave alive, and why. From who to betray, to immediate alliances. The only character whose actions I couldn’t predict were Diamondback’s because he had  deeply personal daddy issues, and was most likely insane. (This series version of The Joker.)

Chess gets referenced a lot in the show, but there are other types of game players.Pops has a permanent chess board set up in the shop and Turk mentions playing in the park. (Chess playing for black people is a little different activity, and a tradition to play it in the park, in NY.)  For contrast look at how Mariah plays the game, vs. how Diamondback plays it. Mariah is always several moves ahead of everyone and  is a total natural. She likes to disguise her moves as something else, and has a focused vision of her future. She is a natural Queen. (The opposing Queen would be Misty, with her nearly supernatural ability to overview and  reconstruct a crime scene). Diamondback is unsubtle and direct, and  most of the chess players (like Shades) are totally stymied by his actions. They think Diamondback is playing chess, when he’s playing something else, ( Hungry Hungry Hippos or gob knows what.)

As for musical references, Luke seems to like Jazz, and old school hip hop from back inna day, (although it’s not unusual for us to have very wide ranging tastes in music, as most of us grow up listening to, and adopting, some of our parents musical tastes, as I did.)  Method Man makes an appearance later in the series, spitting fire about Luke, over the local radio station. The local radio station is also a classic of the socially conscious black movie, (think The Warriors, Do the Right Thing, The Get Down). I’m from the Midwest and  we have that one radio station that everybody in the neighborhood listens to, along with our own homegrown rap stars. (If you’re a fan of Bone Thugs, then you know where I hang.) If you’re a fan of Gang Starr,  then you also know that the series titles are all titles of their songs. I’m not a Gang Starr fan, though. 

Cottonmouth seems  to be a fan of 90s rap. He has a huge poster of Biggie Smalls on the wall of his office, and mentions Tupac and New Jack City. Later he invites Biggie’s wife, Faith Evans to sing in his club, which is only fitting. My favorite stage entertainer was the dapper,  Jidenna, who sang Long Live the Chief. It’s one of my favorite songs and scenes. 

I’m not actually a huge rap music fan, though. I know enough to get by and hold a conversation. I recognized music from The Wu Tang Clan, Tupac, and Public Enemy, but I probably missed about half the musical references. Down below are links clocking all of the biggest musical, and comic book moments, in the series.

Later, we get a little more old school, mellower music, like The Stylistics’ People Make the World Go Round, which is one of my favorite songs. And when Mariah takes over Cottonmouth’s club, we can see she prefers classics  like, The Delfonics (actually Cottonmouth was watching them rehearse). Mariah manages to hire Susan Jones and The Dap Kings, which is one of my favorite retro-groups. She name drops some of her favorite Jazz artists, as does Pop, earlier in the show.

The entire series is basically a love letter to the entirety of Black culture., and the references come fast and furious. It’s almost impossible to catch all of them.  There were some Jazz shoutouts but since I’m not a huge Jazz listener, outside of the biggies, I can’t speak deeply on that at all, but a lot of the music in the series I grew up listening to, and is part of the background story of my life. The producer, Cheo Hodari-Coker, must be in my age range because a lot of the music had resonance for me, and I’m not even a huge rap music fan, like that. I’m pretty sure there were lots of musical references I didn’t  catch. 

On the other hand, I caught most of the comic book references. From Pop calling Luke “Power Man”, as he was called in the books, to Misty pulling down a poster for martial arts training, that was put up by her future partner, Colleen Wing, who will be making her debut in the Iron Fist series. From the mentions of The Incident (the Chitauri invasion in The Avengers), to Diamondback’s outfit, which is a callback to his look in the comic books, to Luke’s headband, and bracelets during the experiment where he got his powers, to Misty Knight’s red outfit, and blowout at the end  of the series, reminiscent of her full out ‘do in the comic books, this series is full of comic book love. 

And most importantly, no Stan Lee cameo.

Here’s a list of the comic book references:

Did ‘Luke Cage’ Break Netflix? Outage Leaves Saturday Bingers In Dark
Here’s a rundown of the most important musical references by episode:

Marvel’s ‘Luke Cage’: Every important musical moment

*Please note these links contain spoilers, and that the comments for these websites are not safe for black people to be reading because there’s going to be all manner of white male nonsense in them. Don’t bother to read them if you have a low tolerance for racial foolishness. (Foolishness which the klandom has already gotten started engaging in.)

 

I Learned It From Spock

Happy 50th anniversary Star Trek.

Spock has been one of the primary influences on my life and I need to give a shoutout. (Yes, I am currently watching the original Trek marathon.) Here are some of characters that laid the foundation for how I choose to live my life.

Nyota Uhura taught me that Black women) would exist in the future, and they’d be smart, beautiful, graceful, talented, sexy…much as I hoped to be when I grew up. (I’m ’bout halfway there.)

Yeah, this is me at like…ten years old.

Spock taught me IDIC: Infinite Diversity In Infinite Combinations. One of the essential Vulcan code of ethics. Just because something is different, isn’t reason enough to be afraid of it. Although, once something has proven to be malignant, don’t hesitate to kick its ass.

Fearlessness: Spock was often recklessly fearless .When something needed to be done, fear wasn’t  part of the equation. Spock taught me that when you’re right, you will know for an absolute certainty that you’re right, and you jump in with both feet, and no regrets. That once you start letting fear make your decisions for you, it’ll make ALL of your decisions for you. (This also seemed to be Kirk’s philosophy.)  I decided to adopt this attitude and some of my finest experiences happened because  I ignored fear. (I’m not demeaning caution. Caution is not the same as fear.)

Being Rational: I valued logic and rational thought, above all else, even as a child. Most of the people around me didn’t practice this. Just like Spock, in every episode of Star Trek, ever, it   was on me to be the one person in every situation to keep a level head. I have, on occasion, even saved a life or two. When everyone else is running around, screaming like chickens on fire, there has to be at least one person who is  holdin’ shit down.

Being Grown: Spock (and Uhura) taught me how to act like a “Grown-ass Woman” Never listen to hearsay about other people. If you got a beef, you approach the person directly, and tactfully discuss it.

Own up to the shit you do. If you felt something was worth doing, and you did it, then its also worth taking the credit, or the blame, for it. On the opposite end, don’t take credit for other people’s shit, although sometimes, its okay to take someone else’s blame, to save a life.

Never raise your voice when you don’t have to. That way, when you finally do, people will actually listen to you vs. that person who is always yelling.

Keep your sarcasm low-key and it will usually fly right over most people’s heads. Really! Most people won’t be sure they’ve been insulted. This is hilarious, trust me.

Diplomacy, and thoughtfulness, are good things.

Never let other people insult you into being your worst self. That’s letting other people decide the kind of human you want to be and no one gets to make that decision but you. Kirk and McCoy often discussed Spock’s human vs. his Vulcan heritage, and no matter how much they constantly teased, or badgered, him about it, it was Spock who always made the final decision on how human he would behave.

Tact: At twelve years old, I had none. This lesson took a very, very long time to learn. Decades!  I got in a lot of trouble,  when I was younger, for telling unadulterated truths. You gotta adulterate it. People do not like the straight shit. (This also falls under Diplomacy and when to properly deploy “snark”.)

Spock taught me it was okay to have maximum chill. It was okay to not have it during momentous occasions like, finding out your friends are actually alive, flowers that chime when you touch them, and birthday cake, but one should quickly work to re-establish chill directly after such an upheaval.

James Kirk taught me that I wanted a communicator. I really needed a communicator. Nobody looked cooler flipping that phone than Kirk. Everyone else  flipped theirs in a business-like manner, but Kirk flipped his communicator with the style and grace befitting an Olympic event.

Spock taught me that I would probably be single for the rest of my life, as there’s no man that measures up to him. (Ironically, not even the man who portrayed him.)

Spock introduced me to the love of science. I still hated math, but I developed a healthy appreciation for physics. Sometimes I read physics books for fun.  I merely tolerate math as the third wheel on that date. (Gob, I am such a nerd!)

Star Trek taught me that I was a total geekgirl, that it was okay, and that I should embrace it and just let my geek flag fly. (It was  Mork & Mindy that taught me how to love being weird, tho’.)


Spock taught me how to be a commie, pinko, liberal progressive, although at ten years old, I was already well on my way to being one. Spock taught me there’s nothing wrong with being considerate of other life forms. It’s okay to care about other people’s well being, (no matter what  Republicans say.)

I learned ethics, boundaries, and a whole host of other lessons. Some of the things I learned were reinforced by my family, or by later media I consumed, and the books I read, but Star Trek laid the foundation it was all built on.

Happy Anniversary Star Trek! This world would be a radically different, and far lesser place, without Gene Roddenberry’s vision. I would argue that he was quite possibly, one of the most influential men of the twentieth century, (and looking to be, well into the twenty first.)

This was inspired by the Star Trek posts over on Nerds of Color. Stop in and give the N.O.C a holla!

Discussions on Tumblr

*A fundamental breakdown of Whitewashing and how, and why, color blind casting of canon Black characters wouldn’t work. 

finnnorgana

Anonymous asked:

The reason most white characters can easily take colorblind casting while most characters of color would be fundamentally changed is that non-whites are always written with super racially based backstories to “justify” their not being white while white characters, as the default people, are just given stories.

theprettyrekless:

tbh there is no one more annoying in comic fandoms than fans w/ faux elitism talking about how a character “has” to be white no matter (1) how much the characters’ race DOESN’T matter to the story, (2) or how racist the basic foundation of the character’s backstory is (ex. iron fist, doctor strange, etc.) and then proceed to miss the entire point and say shit like “oh, but what if storm was turned into a white woman!!! it’s just what i’m used to in the comics!!!“

i want y’all to really comprehend the next few sentences you about to read bc y’all need to get a grip and understand the importance of back stories and how, when written, it’s really important to UNDERSTAND the back story. ororo munroe is a BLACK woman who is DESCENDED from AFRICAN priestesses!!! HER RACE, say it with me now, IS ESSENTIAL TO HER BACKSTORY!!!

unlike say, danny rand – who could easily be changed to a asian american billionaire who is struggling with being an outcast in two different places while using the mystical force of iron fist W/O HIS BACKSTORY BEING CHANGED!!! but that would just take away from the billionaire white boy representation right??? def can’t ruin that

this excuse just shows how lame and obtuse you are and, if you use/used it, congrats!!! you’re a lame!!!

Yeah I’m getting pretty tired of this argument, too.

Storm was born in Africa. She was orphaned in, and grew up as, a child thief in Kenya. She comes from a line of African priestesses who all have white hair and blue eyes. She was worshipped as a goddess in her home country. Her backstory is very specific to being black.

Not only that, but race swapping her would make it even more racist as you run in to the same problem with the White Savior trope that Tarzan does. You cannot ever have a white woman be Storm because then it would become a racist trope. The backstory wouldn’t work.

She gets married later on to a Black Man, who very specifically doesn’t date or marry White women. Not only would you have to change her origin story but many of the iconic stories told about Storm would have to changed as a lot of her reactions arise out of her culture.

There is nothing in the backstory of Mary Jane or Iron Fist that requires that they be white. Literally everything and anything that has happened to them in their lives could happen to someone of any race or culture, without changing their origin story.

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*For some reason people who are against Social Justice( what a thing to be against!OMG!) like to coin brand new words for non-existent things, like “reverse-racism”, and “forced diversity”. On Tumblr this kind of wtf*ery is getting the breakdown.  For all the hysteria I complain about on Tumblr, I have to hand it to them, the people there like to set shit straight and pull no punches. These young people are our future critical thinkers.
*(Young people speaking their mind. gettin’ so much resistance from behind…-Buffalo Springfield ; For What Its Worth)
nerdsagainstfandomracism diversehighfantasy

Quit Trying To Make”Forced Diversity” Happen (It’s Not A Thing)

diversehighfantasy:

stitchmediamix:

Quit Trying To Make”Forced Diversity” Happen (It’s Not A Thing)

Whenever authors talk about how much they hate “forced diversity” and how annoyed they are that readers and bloggers now expect writers to create that they call “unrealistic” worlds where people who are not the default (by being queer, POC (or the fantasy/sci-fi equivalent), and/or not being cis), I always want to laugh. Or ugly cry. Whatever. (more…)

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(readthewholething)

I think the “forced diversity” attitude speaks to a larger issue, which is that, in the US at least, a lot of white people specifically choose to isolate themselves from people of color (primarily Black people). There is no thinking twice about seeking out white neighborhoods and suburbs, sending their kids to all white schools, and vilifying actual diverse spaces, whether neighborhoods like your South Florida community or my own neighborhood on Wilmington’s West Side (which white suburbanites widely consider a hellhole, because if there are Black people who aren’t doctors or bank CEOs walking around, it must be a hellhole).

If you were raised in white schools, white neighborhoods, went to a mostly white college, vacation at mostly white resorts, and work in a mostly white workplace – and that isn’t very uncommon – diversity is unnatural. And, unlike when poor Black and Latino groups are isolated in low-income areas with few opportunities, it’s a choice, and one they fight for tooth and nail (while, of course, insisting it has nothing to do with race and everything to do with “quality”…. )

ANY level of racial diversity, in fiction or the real world, seems “forced” and “PC” to a lot of people right now in the year 2016. That tells a lot about where we’re at and why inclusion in media is important.

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*I think this fan failed to take into account that some of us never had it good. Some of us never had any choice about critically questioning our consumption of pop culture. I’m considerably older than the person who posed this question, so I think I know a little bit more about what things were actually like, than they do.
One of the reasons I write about this topic isn’t just to preach to the choir. I hope I’m helping others to critically think about what they read, see, and hear, and how to go about doing that. My hope is that they, will indeed, try to be better people in the future.
finnnorgana
bigskydreaming

ravensrandoms:

shisno:

rigormorton32:

Does anybody else remember a time, long long ago, when you could just enjoy things?

You could watch a movie and just appreciate it instead of over analyzing every single scene to make sure there’s nothing remotely offensive about it.

You could have a favorite character and just like them and appreciate how great they were written and portrayed, without being told you’re terrible because they’re a villain. Even though they’re FICTIONAL and most likely were deliberately written to be likable. (Even if they were written as an evil character, I still think you have a right to like them, but maybe that’s just me)

You could love and be a fan of the actors without having to go full on FBI agent, looking into their backgrounds to make sure they are 100% perfect and had never made a mistake ever.

You could post about said actor without some busybody little fandom cop, slithering into your inbox to tell you(all too happily) that your fave is “problematic” (god, I fucking hate that word), and you’re disgusting if you still like them.

I’m in my 30’s so I remember those good ole days and it’s kind of sad to know, that most of you will never truly know how great that was. That’s a time long since forgotten. Bummer.

Yes, I remember that.

You know what I also remember?

How one of my friends was always awkwardly quiet after the rest of his friends group laughed at a ‘no homo’ set up joke. How he never laughed along when someone used ‘gay’ to describe something. I remember telling people who didn’t laugh that “it’s a joke, what’s wrong with you?”

I also remember, almost a decade after, crying happily as he married the love of his life who happened to be a man.

I remember laughing at a racist joke in a movie with my cousins, and her one black friend, her best friend, up and leaving because of it. I remember nodding along as she said “ugh, she can never take a joke”.

I remember asking my cousin about her years later and learning they never spoke after that. Ten years of friendship lost that night.

I remember sitting in a room filled with guy friends, making sexist jokes and being told I was so cool for not being as uptight as “other girls”. I remember that slowly losing its shine, and wondering why I felt more and more uncomfortable hearing that.

And then I remember who I was back then, and how I am so glad I am no longer that person.

I remember the first time I apologized to my gay friends for the jokes I used to make. I remember the first time I didn’t try to defend how I “didn’t mean to be racist”. I remember the first time I asked a guy just what is wrong with “other girls”, and how I lost some friends that day who I realized were never really my friends.

You know what changed? I changed. Through listening and understanding and admitting my privileges and faults, I changed. Now even if I try, I can’t just enjoy something that jokes at the expense of others. I cant watch someone who is unapologetically problematic in media.

I can’t enjoy these things because I realize now that their very existence hurts. That the very existence of this type of media perpetuates behaviors and ideologies that can lead to people being abused, harassed, and murdered.

And you know what? That’s a good thing. Because the more people who refuse to ingest this type of media, the less audience it has, and the stronger the message becomes that these things – racism, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, etc. – are not things to be waved off. You’re not edgy or cool for ignoring them. You’re not “uptight” by being upset by them. These are real things with very real social impact.

The reality is, there was never a time when everyone could just enjoy things. To be able to say you had that time is to admit the privilege you had at not having to think about problematic behavior because it didn’t negatively affect your life.

I don’t remember a time where I could “just enjoy things”. What I remember is a time where I was able to enjoy something by throwing everyone who could be hurt by or suffer from it under the bus.

I remember those times in MY life. And I am so fucking grateful they are in the past.

YES. Thank you for spelling this out.

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*Okay, this isn’t fanfiction related. I just enjoyed this little snippet of someone’s daily work life. I’m still reasonably certain that even though this is all pretty funny, it isn’t half as exciting as working at the local Walmart.

karnythia
annlarimer

Things That Happened On My First Day At Target

kimpossibooty:

kimpossibooty:

kimpossibooty:

-Sold lingerie to an eighty year old woman

-Got a free salted caramel frappacino from the suspectedly gay barista, Parker

-Sold a bra to the mom of a sixteen year old girl who was cringing the entire time

-Had a very engaging conversation with a three year old boy about colors. We both like blue.

-Served an old woman who I thought had an impressive mustache, but it was just nose hair

-Watched her and two other women with her get trapped between two sets of automatic doors because they did not understand how to open them. How they got through the first set, I still do not know.

-Sold fifteen gallons of kitty litter to a soccer mom who refused to break eye contact

-Got a second free starbucks drink. This one was a pumpkin pie one that wasn’t even on the menu. I like this barista man.

-Gave dozens of children stickers. Several of them squealed when they got them. This is the best part of my job.

-Sold an old man $200 of furniture and got him to sign up for a Target credit card. Before he finished the last step, he turned and walked away with his cart without a word.

-He still hadn’t paid. I called him back and he apologized, saying “sorry, sometimes my diabetes makes me do that.” He didn’t finish getting the card.

-A woman came up with $220 of items. After a wad of coupons and a stack of free gift cards from other promotions, her total went down to $55. I want her to teach me.

-Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own.

-Got approached by a large man named Jason. He told me not to steal. I will take this advice to heart.

-Met a woman referred to only as The Cat Lady. She asked if I wanted her to buy me a keychain from Ross. I told her I had no keys. She nodded solemnly and walked away, whispering their exact location inside Ross, just in case.

-Got called into the HR Head’s office at the end of my shift. I was expecting to be yelled at for some reason. She and another lead showered me in compliments for ten minutes straight, saying a lot of managers had been saying great things about me all day. Not what I expected, but I’ll take it.

Day Two:

-Intimidating farmer man in overalls and pigtails came through my checkout. He bought a bucket. He spoke no words. He made no eye contact. He left me with questions.

-Three college boys came through, each buying spandex and makeup wipes. They spoke no words. They made too much eye contact. They left me with more questions. I question when this job will provide answers.

-A three year old came through, pushed by his personal chauffeur. He bought one small Spider-Man onesie. He carried out the entire transaction on his own. He was the most polite customer I have had so far.

-Three people walked away without their change. Only two returned.

-A man bought thirty light bulbs with a coupon. He told me he did not need thirty light bulbs. He just likes coupons.

-He then walked to customer service, claiming to have returned several things he did not mean to. He then walked a lap around the store and left. He did not leave the store with his light bulbs. They were nowhere to be found.

-A customer came through looking nervous. She leaned over the counter. She whispered to me. Someone had pooped in the baby supplies aisle. All evidence pointed to it not being a baby.

Day Three:

-Two children came through the line. They were chanting to their mom through heavy streams of tears. “WE WANT STICKERS MOMMY.”  There were no stickers at any of the registers. They continued crying. I failed my people.

-An old woman bought five bottles of wine and a large bottle of vodka. Her license told me she had lived through World War II. Her smile told me she was still living.

-I sorted through the candy in the checkout lanes. I was meant to set aside candy that had expired in the last month. A box of Kit Kats was found that had expired in February of 2015. One was missing. I hope the poor sap is okay.

-Clearance school supplies have arrived. A man bought 71 spiral notebooks for $6. A woman bought 110 folders for $4. I hope they meet each other. I would like to see the child of two math problem characters.

-A bearded man named Rusty came through. I sold him a bottle of Crystal Light powder and a gallon of water. The powder was empty. The water jug had an inch of pink water left in it. How long has he been inside the store already. His beard intimidated me too much to ask.

-An elderly man in a fedora pushed two full carts into my lane. They were both filled to the brim. He bought 52 12-packs of Mountain Dew. 12 were diet. He repeatedly told me he was 80 years old. As I handed him his receipt, he leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to get DRUNK.” He pointed at his carts, smiled at me, and scurried away with his definitively alcoholic purchase. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he cares.

Source: kimpossibooty
*Remember to follow diversehighfantasy and Stitch’s Media Mix. They always have the best takedowns. 
Next: Something a little different.

Why “The Magnificent Seven” Upgrade Is Already Iconic — JUST ADD COLOR

I usually don’t go for Westerns. Well, actually, they have to be one (or more) of three things: they are bending the rules of the Western to a ridiculous degree, involve a rarely-discussed racial angle, or I have to watch them for a film class. (Because I was forced to watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid…

via Why “The Magnificent Seven” Upgrade Is Already Iconic — JUST ADD COLOR

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