Geeking Out About: Brooklyn 99

Brooklyn 99

Today I am  singing the praises of one of my favorite sit-coms, Brooklyn 99. I don’t often watch comedies, because most of them  aren’t particularly funny to me, try too hard, or I just don’t have time for them, and I was not going to watch this one, because I have trouble watching cop shows, (Apparently I can watch cop comedies, I guess.  I loved Reno 911, and thought this might be similar to it. It both is and isn’t.)

Brooklyn 99 is just as ridiculously over the top as Reno 911, but the characters are much more likable, and competent. They’re certainly less raunchy, as this is a Primetime show. The 99’s characters are the kind of people you want to meet and make friends with. The characters from Reno 911 are  much more like  your annoying co-workers, that you’d  like to punch in the  neck. The 99 characters are the kind of people you laugh with and cheer for. The Reno characters are the kind you laugh at, while hoping they don’t  blow anything up. What’s refreshing about Brooklyn 99 is, you start the series with what you think are just a bunch of standard tropes, and gradually, these characters become fleshed out, and more complicated, but not in the usual ways.

This show is also an example of getting diversity right. (Except for the lack of Asians, which it really needs at least one. ) I love the attitudes of the characters. They really do act as if they are a family.

There’s none of the passive-aggressive hostility that passes for humor in other ensemble shows. The characters acknowledge that they are very different from one another, there’s occasional teasing about that, but no one is ever made to feel ashamed of, or less than, for who they are. The only time characters are ever made to feel ashamed, is when they behave badly, and their friends call them on their shit. There’s a general acceptance by the other characters when someone is just a certain way, even if that way is mildly annoying, like Charles Boyle, or in Rosa’s case , occasionally terrifying. The closest you get to meanness in the show is Rosa, but she makes up for it by only kicking the asses of people who mess with her friends, (or inanimate objects that ain’t actin’ right.)

One of the things  I really like about this show is when characters make mistakes, they’re willing to acknowledge they made the mistake, and either apologise, or atone for it. They’re willing to not only  admit when they’ve been foolish, but when they’ve been doubling down on their foolishness too, which is a refreshing change from the real life model of people who actively work at being their worst possible selves. Brooklyn 99 makes me like people, and is a perfect example of how to Grownup.

Here, in some kind of order, are:

Det. Rosa Diaz  (Stephanie Beatriz)

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Rosa is the kind of girl you want to have your back in a fight. If I was arranging a team of people to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, Rosa would be Michonne. She has an appetite for destruction that is awesome. In fact, one of the best birthday presents Gina ever gave her, was a hammer, and some time alone in a soon to be demolished house. According to Rosa it was: The Best Birthday Ever!

Strangers see me like  Rosa, or Captain Holt, depending on their personal anxiety levels. Rosa began the series as a typical anger management case, which is funny when you contrast that with how model pretty she is, and this is part of the show’s charm.The humor comes from the character traits and how various teammates respond to the events in the show. They’re usually involved in some situation that requires them to react, and because their personalities are all so different, you get some spectacularly funny moments. Occasionally the show likes to give us a real treat and put certain personalities together to solve some issue. Hilarity often ensues.

Over the years we find out many surprising things about Rosa, like she’s occasionally intimidated by people too, she used to be a ballet dancer, and  that she was raised by nuns, but when we first meet Rosa she’s beating up a copy machine, with a battering ram, and at first you think she’s just a stereotypical “Spicy Latina”. Thankfully, anger isn’t all there is to her. She’s also honest, forthright, insightful, supportive, loyal, and encouraging to her teammates. Rosa is the shows truth-teller. She specializes in stating uncomfortable truths, and doesn’t shirk from that, even when those truths are about herself.

 

 

Gina Linetti  (Chelsea Perretti)

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If I had to choose someone to be friends with, it would be Gina. She’s that best girlfriend, who always knows where the latest get-togethers are, and how to finagle her way into them. She’s carefree and deeply self involved, but not in a neurotic way, because this is a woman who has realized her fabulousness and is very comfortable with her greatness. The funny thing is, she is pretty fabulous, mostly because she acts like it, and truly believes it. She has a deep and abiding love affair with her phone, through which she receives copious amounts of gossip. She’s also totally  unwilling to let others forget how wonderful she is. Gina is also one of the laziest assistants to ever be in an office. She’s so fabulous however that not only does she not make any secret of this, she is hilariously quite proud of that, (and her interpretive dance skills).

One of the most surprising things,on the show,  is her relationship with Jake, which I truly enjoy. They’ve know each other since they were little children, having grown up in the same neighborhood, and they have one of the best platonic friendships I’ve ever seen on TV. One of my favorite moments is when Jake gives Gina the forehead kiss, as if she were his little sister, and she lets him do it, although she really isn’t affectionate, like that,with anyone else on the show, and I think she’s older than him.

 

Det. Jake Peralta  (Adam Samberg)

Jake Peralta is everybody’s cool best friend (and Charles Boyle would be more than happy to tell you this).

Jake begins the show as an irresponsible, sloppy, childlike character, but you can see his growth over the course of three seasons, as he learns to be honest with himself and others, and even manages to win Amy’s affections, after being so annoying to her at the beginning of the show. Heck he was annoying to me, and definitely to Captain Holt, but I’ve actually grown to like, and even admire  him.He has matured throughout the seasons but not so much that he doesn’t still think that frosting his hair blonde looks really cool.

When I first started watching this show, I was watching it for Andre Braugher, and I initially dismissed Jake as someone I would have to simply tolerate. I thought he’d be the typical White male protagonist who is the center of all the stories, and  everything he did and said, would be treated as gold. But that’s not what happened. Adam Samberg is willing to step aside from time to time, and let the other characters shine, and  teach his character how to grow up. Samberg understands he doesn’t need to be the center of every episode. He’s no William Shatner and that’s refreshing.

Jake always had trouble showing affection, not because he didn’t want people to think he was gay, but because he had father issues, and is still immature enough not to know how to handle affection from others. But he has grown, over the course of the show.

Witness his gradual change of character, as he attempts to become the kind of man who deserves to have someone like Amy, in his life. Jake is still immature, but he genuinely loves Amy, and tries to be the kind of man who can make her happy. Amy’s  love encourages him to want to be a better man. The distinction is subtle but there.  Amy is  the polar opposite of him, and he acknowledges that keeping her with him might require him to act more mature. Jake is also willing to acknowledge his mistakes,  apologize for them, and attempts to do better, not just for Amy, but for all those he considers his friends.

 

 

 

Captain Ray Holt (Andre Braugher)

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Captain Holt is the father figure of The 99. He’s the no-nonsense, emotionally restrained, backbone to the department. Or at least that’s  how it starts. I love the way this character has grown since the beginning of the series. He started out as real hard-case, coming down  hard on Jake, to get him to be more responsible and adult. He has since come to  understand Jake a lot more, understanding that Jake is at his best when he’s allowed to just be himself, realizing his influence over Jake, and he’s even begun to loosen up  just a bit, under Jake’s influence.

Throughout the seasons, we’ve witnessed Holt loosen up a more, finally becoming comfortable with his detectives, and allowing them to see just a little of his silly side, although he would probably be insulted at that description, not having ever believed in, or condoned, silliness or frivolousness, of any kind. At first, I just saw Holt as The Inscrutable Negro, mysterious, and unflappable. Now I really enjoy this character and I’m always eager to see how he’ll surprise me, during an episode by, for example, having an impromptu dance-off with some street thugs.

Over time, Holt has come to admire Jake, and think of him as a son, which is a total turnaround from when they first met. After all, Jake possessed every quality that Holt disdained, and he didn’t believe Jake took his job seriously, but now he’s very proud of Jake and encourages him to do his best. Jake, who spent the earliest part of his life trying to please his absentee father, and never measuring up, has found the perfect father-figure in Holt.

Holt’s team  admires him, and  strive to make him proud of them.  Captain Holt is an out, gay, Black man. His job might care about him being gay, but his team doesn’t, and they are always respectful of his relationship with his husband Kevin, treating the two just  like every other couple on the show.  For example, when Holt wanted to visit Kevin, who was on Sabbatical in France, Amy, Charles, and Jake, volunteer to dogsit the couple’s Corgi,  Cheddar. The humor doesn’t come from “Oh, these gay men have a cute dog.” No, the humor comes from the usual wackiness that ensues because Amy, Charles, and Jake are such different personalities which clash over babysitting Cheddar.

The show doesn’t browbeat you over the head with After School Special moments, though. How Holt handles his sexuality, in an environment where it is much more likely to meet with resistance, is done with grace and dignity. His gayness isn’t the joke. In fact, no one’s race is ever a joke, and no one’s gender is ever used as a joke.

I admire the hell out of this character. Hilariously he’s the character that most people who don’t know me well, see me as. My close friends find that hilarious, btw.

 

Sgt. Terry Jeffords (Terry Crews)

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Terry is like everybody’s fit  uncle. He looks intimidating, but after a while, you find out that Terry is merely extremely health conscious and an actual Teddy Bear. Terry is such a gentle soul, that he has to be carefully talked into using his tremendous strength ,and has deep anxieties about firing a weapon. I love how the show bucks stereotypes of Black men, by having two very intense looking black men, who  are nothing like they first seem.

Terry is a devoted family man who truly, madly, deeply, loves his two twin baby daughters, even though he thinks they are possibly trying to kill him. Known for speaking of himself in the first person, Terry  also loves yogurt, exercise, and his job, which mostly involves wrangling all these different personality types, to focus them on one thing together.Terry is the Peacekeeper. His job is to make sure everybody is getting along and ready to work. He’s strong, encouraging, and always speaks up,and goes to bat, for his people. Captain Holt depends on Terry to run the day to day operations, and considering the types of personalities he has to work with, Terry is doing an excellent job.

 

Det. Amy Santiago

Amy is the girl I was in High School, except I was a lot more snooty. Amy is that best friend , that you hated just a tiny bit, because not only is she smart, organized, and ready, she’s a classic goody-two-shoes, (with just a tiny competitive streak). In fact, I think when that description was created, Amy was who they had in mind.

Amy is an extremely moral and ethical person, who believes in strictly following the rules, and lots and lots of planning. She dislikes how Jake likes to cut corners, or sometimes just wing it. Amy doesn’t wing anything if she can help it. She loves to please people she admires, and will go out of her way to get Captain Holt’s approval, going so far as to cook him a large and tasteless Thanksgiving dinner, or agreeing to babysit his Corgi, Cheddar.  I love Amy because she really is a girl after my own heart. Like me, she is a stickler for prudent planning,  and  loves a nice sized binder of information.

But Amy’s life is so rigidly defined that she needs a little chaos, and that’s where jake comes in. Initially, I think she hated him because Jake is everything she isn’t, but as Jake began to prove his love for her, presenting her with options of when and where to be with him, and then waiting for her to decide, she began to see Jake’s true colors. As I said,

 

Det. Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio)

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Charles is everybody’s favorite grandma and/or best friend. Hes loving , admiring, supportive, encouraging, and Jake’s right hand man, even though Jake didn’t choose him for it. He’s the kind of guy who always has a bowl of candy on his desk to offer to co-workers who are feeling a bit down.

I love Charles because, well…he’s just lovable. Joe Lo Truglio, formerly from Reno 911, is the complete opposite of his character, on that show. On 911 he was a venal, angry drug user, but  Charles is a warm, gracious, polite, foodie, and that you believe this, is a testament to Joe Lo Truglio’s acting skills. Charles is always upbeat and optimistic. He always looks on the bright side of a situation, no matter how horrible that situation may seem to others, like when his best friend, Jake accidentally shot him in the butt, or when his dog died. Charles was the only one capable of seeing the silver lining. He has a tendency to be a floor mat because he always puts others needs before his own. Now that he has a young son, whom he adopted, he has someone at which to throw all his tremendous caring.

He’s very devoted to Jake and I love the show has this depiction of a close m/m friendship without screaming no homo, everytime he and Jake show affection.

 

Det. Adrien Pimento

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Adrien is the newest recurring character at Brooklyn 99. Having suffered an emotional breakdown, after going undercover with some mobsters, Adrien is in a very  fragile emotional state, when he returns to his job as a detective. He’s paranoid and full of anxiety, and definitely suffering from some form of PTSD, but his mental state is never made the butt of the joke, and is not actually connected to his zany behavior. He acts wild, not because of his emotional fragility, but because he is thoroughly lacking in any boundaries, like breaking into Jake’s apartment to do Tai Chi, in his underwear. The humor comes from the reactions of his co-workers, who never have any idea what Adrien might  do next, not from making fun of his emotional state. The show skirts a fine line between acknowledging his emotional disability, and  understanding that it doesn’t necessarily inform  his behavior.

Adrien is definitely what’s known as  Chaotic Good.

Adrien is a good man, which is why the rest of the team accepts him. Also,  he and Rosa develop an intense, frantic, (and inexplicable) attraction to each other, although Adrien  explains, at first, that he’s not capable of having a relationship with her, they do eventually decide to get married.  Rosa seems   okay with Adrien’s unpredictability, and takes most of his decisions  in stride. She never tries to change Adrien, or make him behave, (although when she first met him she called him a freak, that she will only fall in love with). After a while, she just accepts him for the wild card that he is.

Actually, once everyone has gotten used to Adrien, they  just try to work  with him, or around him, for example, Gina is one of the few people Adrien will actually obey, when she tells him to do something, and Charles pretty much loves everyone, when he’s not terrified of them. Over time, the team’s acceptance  and trust starts to heal Adrien’s emotional wounds, and he starts to feel confident enough to form healthier relationships with others.
I’m geeking out about Brooklyn 99 because it’s an example of a show thats getting its humor and diversity right, with smart, funny, well rounded characters. It resumes its fourth season on April 11th, on the Fox network. Go figure!

Tumblr Humor # 168

Here’s some good laughs for today, fresh from Tumblr and Medium.

I find the idea of Toast Jail inordinately funny!

teaforyourginaa: “ dynastylnoire: “ sounddesignerjeans: “ strangelypensieve: “ trouserweasel: “ trouserweasel: “ LOOK THEY ACTUALLY DO HAVE TOASTERS WITH LITTLE WINDOWS SO YOU CAN WATCH YOUR FOOD GET TOASTED ” it looks like toast jail ” They’ve been...

trouserweasel:

LOOK THEY ACTUALLY DO HAVE TOASTERS WITH LITTLE WINDOWS SO YOU CAN WATCH YOUR FOOD GET TOASTED

it looks like toast jail

They’ve been taken into crustody…

bad and naughty slices

are put in the

These are their stories

CHNG CHNG

Source: trouserweasel
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OMG! Asian Americans are draggin’ Matt Damon on Twitter, because of his new movie, The Great Wall, and I am loving it. Personally I blame Constance Wu for being a good influence. Don’t get me wrong, I like Matt Damon okay, I just ain’t particularly interested in seeing Bourne Goes to China.
I knew Asian people had this level of snark in them! I just knew it! I’m so proud.
“We have to stop perpetuating the racist myth that only a white man can save the world. It’s not an actual fact,” Constance Wu wrote in a tweet criticizing the film back in July. “It’s not about blaming individuals. Rather, it’s about pointing out the repeatedly implied racist notion that white people are superior to POC and that POC need salvation from our own color via white strength. When you consistently make movies like this, you ARE saying that. YOU ARE.”
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I am totally here for TTI, or Tiny Turtle Investigator.

the-omniscient-narrator: “ mxcleod: “ octemberfirst: “ abqandnotu: “ merosse: “ TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY ” GOOD MORNING EVERYONE ” “HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT” “YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS...

merosse:

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT, SIR?”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR”

THIS IS THE STUFF THAT TUMBLR NEEDS MORE OF

@tinyfierceandsassy quality turtle content!

(Source: animalkingd0m, via frominthemirror)

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 This is my aesthetic as regards the willfully stupid.
introvertunites: “ If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites. ”

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I should not have laughed as hard as I did at this image.

srsfunny: “ Oh Frank, You’re Alive ”

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Uhmm, actually the idea that there might be a mobster under the bed, is still pretty frightening.

writing-prompt-s:

You realize you’ve misheard your daughter. There’s actually a mobster under her bed.

BADA BING BADA BOOM

I’M SLEEPIN HERE

(Turns on nightlight)

Voice from Under Bed: Eeeyyyyyyy pally what’s da big idea

(Parent looking around room) Voice from under bed: “Fuggedabout it”

“You didn’t see nothin’“

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There are people on the internet doing the Lord’s work of counting Tom Hardy’s grunts per film, so you dont have to.

Enjoy!

Goodbye Productivity: The Tom Hardy Grunt Counter is Here to Take Over Your Day

All the nonverbal utterances — so far — from ‘Taboo’ in one supercut.

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Caption these photos!

Related image

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Tumblr Politics: Laugh-In Edition

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Yeah, there’s not much to laugh about these days politically, but what we can do is mock politicians and here’s a list of public mockings that occurred in the last few weeks.

*Yep, Tumblr and Twitter still can’t stand this woman, and we refuse to call her by her real name. Thanks Wale! You’ve given America no end of amusement.

Here Are (Most of) the Names Tomi Lahren Has Been ‘Mistakenly’ Called on Twitter

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*The Twitter responses to 45’s response to his court decision. I could make this up but then y’all would be mad at me.

Update: Trump, Clinton and more respond to decision 

  • Since Trump’s victory, Hillary Clinton has mostly kept her opinions private. But after tonight’s decision she tweeted the following:
  • “3-0″ marks the ruling of the three federal judges that made the decision.
  • Clinton’s simple message of support for the court’s decision stood in stark contrast to Trump’s own reaction to the news.
  • Twitter users didn’t hesitate to point out the irony of Trump’s message: After all, he had, in essence, just been in court. And lost.

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*I’m pretty sure Netflix doesn’t give a flying shit about butt-hurt racists boycotting their streaming network because they don’t like some of their programming. I don’t know why they think this would even work. When there’s shit on Netflix that I don’t like, you know what I do? I don’t watch it. Why? Because there’s about a bajillion other things on Netflix to look at.

At any rate I’m always up for trolls getting trolled on Twitter.

delamind:

bellygangstaboo:

bellygangstaboo:

I am deceased

minor update:

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*Okay, this one made me laugh and cry. It really does feel like a break-up, doesn’t it?

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*When I first heard about this, I was just Wow! She just straight the fuck lying to our faces at this point. I have no more evens left. I just can’t. Twitter needs to drag this woman more often than it does. Well, in this political climate, people are definitely honing their Twitter skills.

 

Kip Adotta

Kip Adotta is a Cleveland comedian mostly famous for a bunch of parody songs written during the eighties and nineties. He was one of my favorite comedians growing up. The first time I heard the song Wet Dream, I think I was about 14, and  it just tickled the Hell out of me.

For some reason Kip likes to appear in his music videos dressed in a fedora and trenchcoat, but do’nt hold that against him. He’s actually pretty funny. If you like ridiculous puns and juvenile whimsy, he’s your guy.

If you’re old enough to remember The Dr. Demento show, then you will probably remember at least a couple of these songs.

 

 

Misc. Tumblr Shenanigans

Just a general list of hooliganism that Tumblr is getting up to lately.

Beyonce’s Pregnancy!

Beyoncé just kicked off Black History Month right with that announcement, Black joy in full effect

Source:
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y’all are saying that beyonce’s twins are gonna be geminis or leos I hope they spite y’all and they’re cancers

ME TOO

WE’RE GONNA KEEP SPEAKING IT INTO EXISTENCE IT’S GONNA HAPPEN

Source:
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wattstheproblem replied to your posty’all are saying that beyonce’s twins are gonna be…

   i rebuke this in the name of the lord, theyre gonna be virgos

I CAST YOU OUT IN JESUS’ NAME

 

Happy Black History Month

How is this a positive way to celebrate your heritage? Sad.

But did you die?

blunttholder Deactivated

WE CELEBRATE HOW WE WANT BITCH. DONT WORRY BOUT US

jailasoul Deactivated

^^^^ Oop

sexysmirkemoji Deactivated

This just made my day 36874x better

tshawnraw Deactivated

It keeps getting better

nigeah Deactivated

I would like to thank god for black people

cause we don’t give a fuck!

hersheywrites Deactivated

This post has gotten 8043220x better since last night. I love us. Someone said but “did you die?” I’m crying.

That Michelle Obama gif is so important to me

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2017!!!!

I know I shouldn’t have found this hella funny but I just couldn’t help it. Those gifs are everything. Especially that first one.

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Black Superpowers! Don’t tell anybody. We don’t want this getting out.

If you’re black you’re in tune with the lord of the universe and can warp reality at your command. Little known secret.

Some blacks don’t know they have telepathy until another black uses their telepathy near them.

It’s called the Nigga Neural Network

Most Black People usually discover they have Nigga Neural Network, or NNN, when a white person does something foolish in public and you somehow manage to find and make eye contact with the nearest Black Person available whether you knew they were in the vicinity or not

This is usually indicated by either an eyeroll or an up-nod of recognition.

Source:

The Oscars and the Face-Off between Moonlight and La La land

http://mikeymagee.tumblr.com/post/156417844628/can-i-ask-you-why-do-you-hate-la-la-land-i-mean

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Moonlight and the Limitation of Masculinity

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Going over Moonlight (2016) again, I’ve noticed Barry Jenkins recurring theme of showcasing Chiron’s (and Kevin’s) backs. In each act (from Lil, to Chiron, to Black) the has a long shot of the subject’s back. (Long Post under the cut)

Keep reading

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https://www.rt.com/op-edge/375816-lala-trump-great-america-hollywood/

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Tumblr Headcanaons about Folklore

*I loved this particular take on the story of The Swan Maiden.

the-last-hair-bender:

roachpatrol:

charminglyantiquated:

so if there’s one single trope i’m always down to fight it’s the animal bride (folklore motif 402??) which a lot of you are probably familiar with as the selkie – the fisherman either falls in love, steals her skin to trap her on land/gain power over her, or they fall in love and THEN he steals her skin to keep her from leaving, and either way she spends a lot of time gazing sadly out to sea and then she or her child finds the skin and never returns again.
and that’s awful on a whole lot of levels – it’s not love, it’s control.

BUT. but the thing is. you how selkies/seal women was a pretty common variation of this? another really popular one was swans.

i just want you to think about that for a moment. swans. like…I get it, they’re pretty, graceful birds, certainly it’s easy to imagine them magically becoming pretty graceful ladies? but have you ever fought a swan. swans are awful. swans are the devil’s geese. imagine seeing a pretty magic lady and being absolutely enchanted by her, and stealing her magic feather cloak, and then you go up and say ‘hey i’m in love with you, let me make you my queen, it will be great, we’ll be so happy’ and she just looks at you for a moment and…

you know i was going to say maybe she just shouts for her sisters and suddenly you’rerealizing you’ve made a terrible terrible mistake bc you’re surrounded by big fucking birds who are all hissing. but honestly if this swan lady is as aggressively down to brawl as any other generally unhappy swan, then she’d straight up fuck you up on her own. she’d just deck you roundhouse, honestly. you don’t fuck with swans. why does this trope exist

okay but consider this: a woman walks to the park every day and feeds the swans and watches them paddle gracefully around the lake, sighing to see how beautifully they swim.

finally one day, a swan comes up to her and says ‘why don’t you come and swim with us? you always sigh so wistfully to see us on the water, and you would be most welcome to join our company, for you have always been a true friend to our kind’

and the woman says, ‘i can’t swim’

and the swan says, ‘we’ll teach you’

and the woman says, ‘literally i can’t swim, my husband stole my sealskin and should i venture into deep water i would surely drown’

and the swan says ‘your husband fucking WHAT’

the next morning the woman’s front yard looks like this.

image

and neither the woman nor her husband are ever heard from again, though for very different reasons.

OH MY GOD.

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On Introverts

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites.introverts

And my personal favorite, as it happens to echo my exact thoughts sometimes:introverts

*Is it just me or does anybody else just get tired of hearing their friends talking to you sometimes? Like “Would u please shut up!” Only you actually like them, and don’t want to hurt their feelings, so you just grit your teeth and smile.

Learning About Introversion

I think I speak for all of us when I say that it can be VERY annoying to be called names and have people assume things about us that just isn’t true. That being said, books and articles are a great way for non-introverted people to learn more about what introversion is and how to best interact with introverts. Do you guys know of any good books, articles, or other sources about introversion?

Note: This is also a chance for introverts to seek out sources for themselves as well. Learning about oneself is a great way to spend your alone time. 🙂

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites

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Characters that need to just die, cuz yeah I hate this character, too.

Dear Sleepy Hollow (and Hollywood in general) RETIRE THIS RACIST STOCK CHARACTER.

sleepynegress:

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We’ve all seen her. The black lady behind the counter. She’s dead-eyed, mono-toned, usually larger than average, and middle-aged.

She doesn’t give a shit about what you need.

She is the personification of red tape.  She is always a hindrance, merely there for the white hero and the audience watching to be annoyed at.

The audience rolls their eyes and thinks “Ugh, fuck this lady.” and take that shitty media programmed baggage out into the world when they deal with actual real life black women who work these positions and are often the most patient, helpful, “get you through this system despite it holding me down too” people.

It’s shitty and tired and disgusting and it programs people to see black women as annoying attitude-having hindrances by default.

STOP IT.

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Mocking  Stupidity. I reblogged this one for the insult, also I hate coleslaw. Where’s the lie?

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*And finally new nicknames for 45. There’s a whole website devoted to miscalling this  “Gibbering Mango”

The Orange Fire Monkey,

The Orange Fire Chicken

Hair Hitler

Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames

The Donald — Ivana Trump (she first used the term in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O’Donnell
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin (who was NOT trying to be funny!)
Short-Fingered Vulgarian — Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he seems to think it implies that he is under-endowed “down there”)
Tiny Hands Trump, Babyfingers Trump and Pixie Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch (nicknames based on Graydon Carter’s nickname above)
The Most Fabulous Whiner — after Donald Trump described himself to CNN’s Chris Cuomo as the “most fabulous whiner” who keeps “winning by whining”
Fuckface von Clownstick, Man-Baby, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole — Jon Stewart
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Agent Orange — Anonymous

LMAO Tumblr Day

*This just had me giggling all morning.  I’ve  loved Keegan Michael Key since his MadTv days.

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Snoop is so silly!

Btw, if you haven’t seen his cooking show with Martha Stewart, then check it out. Its a fun half hour, and the two of them have great comedic chemistry. They genuinely appear to be friends and like each other, which is kinda cute.

popelizbet-blog:
“ weavemama:
“SNOOP DOGG IS A SAVAGE FOR THIS
”
Snoop save us.
”karnythia Source: weavemama

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Here’s some general tomfoolery on Twitter!

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*I love the little squishy in this picture. He reminded me of Gary Larson. He’s giving somebody the side-eye, tho’.

fruitsgood:
“ dawwwwfactory:
“Mom’s potato staring at me across the room
”
this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like
”
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/91/49/3f/91493fa3b015a8a8f42d1f9df4a2f1fc.jpg

fruitsgood:

dawwwwfactory:

Mom’s potato staring at me across the room

this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like

 

*Does anybody remember the cartoonist Gary Larson. I have a bunch of his books in my collection,my all-time favorite is  titled  Wiener Dog Art.

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*I can’t even laugh too hard at this because I remember back in the seventies, everybody had this type of artwork on their walls in my neighborhood. I remember staring in fascination because one of my neighbors had a picture on his wall of a half naked Black woman with a giant black panther. It looked like it had been painted on velvet. I do have a special hatred for anything painted on velvet after that.

Ankh art

ankh-niggas-anonymous:

-naked black woman
-sometimes has third eye
-always light-skinned
-hourglass shape (maybe a fatter ass tho. maybe.)
-perky titties no matter what size
-huge afro or long locs
-always doing some ‘spiritual shit’ like meditation or praying or watever
-she not christian tho, cuz christianity is the white man’s religion
-always in some sort of ‘natural environment’ i.e. the woods, the ocean, the sky
-is mystical because???
-a picture of africa somewhere in the art, either as jewelry or a tattoo
-something about the woman’s vagina being powerful bc can Procreate
-in case woman is in a relationship, it is ALWAYS with a man
-the man is darkskinned
-the man treats the woman like royalty and/or goddess, but not like an actual person
-some fake deep statement??? that makes no sense whatsoever and actually goes against all logic and common sense

reverseracism Source: ankh-niggas-anonymous

See!

Related image

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*And lastly, I’d like to introduce all of you to The Liberal Redneck. He is one of the funniest White men on Youtube and one of the few White people who has managed to make me laugh about the upcoming wtf*ery that is US politics. Check out , and subscribe to, all his other videos on Youtube.

Video Roundup

 

I  find posts  and tags on Tumblr (and around the web) that manage to be funny, with a social message. So here are some of the things that made me smile this week.

The Underwritten Female Character: I’m still laughing at this one.

 There’s an entire series of these mini-movies on YouTube by Nuclear Family, with titles like I’m Basic and So Can You, and That Scene in Every Adventure Movie. I didn’t get a chance to watch all of them, but the ones I did, were hilarious!

Please visit their site and subscribe.

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It has occurred to me that the vast majority of Americans know absolutely jack-squat about the continent of Africa. What they think they know comes from Nat’l Geo documentaries, and movies featuring all white casts, which would lead one to believe that Africa consisted of nothing but elephants, terrorists, and starving children.  

Africa consists of 54 countries, and all of them (and the people in them) are uniquely beautiful. I found this gorgeous video on African cities, and thought I’d share.

And the music is lovely too.

 

*And let’s follow that up with one of my all-time favorite cartoon songs.

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 *This little  boy totally gave me life. I laugh my ass off every time this video comes across my dash. Somebody please save this precious snowflake, so that he can grow up to become the Solid Gold Dancer, he so longs to be. I think peope are just calling this dance The Tiger Bend!

Work it out lil’ man! Work it out!

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*Then there’s this silly-ass movie trailer for something every single one of us saw last year. Trust me. You saw it and lived it! Nobody liked this movie!

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Here’s the Alien Covenant Trailer! It looks so much better than Prometheus, and I’m a tiny bit excited about it  because it actually features Black Women In Spaaace!

I think its probably going to be good because Damon Lindelof had nothing to do with the script, which means the characters might actually be intelligent and hapless, instead of dumb and asking for it.

 

*And finally these Evian Baby ads are just the cutest things I ever did see. Waay cuter than cat videos.

Tumblr Links and Humor

View story at Medium.com

Okay Dear Readers, I think I’m going to make this my last Linkspam/Tumblr post for the year. I really do enjoy making these, and I’m not stopping making them altogether. I’m just taking a short break, for the holiday season, so I can focus on all the other essays I’ve started. If you really liked these, then you should visit my Tumblr page and Follow. Not only can you view my archived posts there, but you can see all the things I LIKED, that never made it to my blog. The stuff on Tumblr is pretty different from this blog, much of it being social justice related signal boosting.

*First, some Feminist/Womanist Pop Culture Links, before we get started on the silly stuff :

Jyn Erso Isn’t Revolutionary; Her Co-Leads Are

More Women on the Bridge, Less Women in the Fridge

https://ladygeekgirl.wordpress.com/2016/12/14/house-elves-racism-or-discussing-racism-but-not-really/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-fantasy-film-plays-on-the-black-experience-while-erasing-black-people_us_583f36e6e4b09e21702c5de2

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I love Soniqua’s character on the Walking Dead, and I have it on good authority that she isn’t leaving that show anytime soon, (so guys, please calm down. ) So far the new Star Trek sounds lit. Its got a nice well rounded cast, with 2 Woc as the leads,  and some gay representation, as well.But its my understanding that although Soniqua’s character on Star Trek is only a Lt., she is the show’s lead, as its from her point of view.

But what I’m most excited about is the Queen, my inspiration, Michelle Yeoh, (from Crouching Tiger), as the show’s Captain. Is that or is it not AWESOME!!!!

Star Trek: Discovery casts Walking Dead actress as star — EXCLUSIVE

Sonequa Martin-Green to lead ‘Discovery’ cast on CBS All Access

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*This is how I like my apples…

View story at Medium.com

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*I lose it everytime I see this photo and caption. That guy in the background is either  practicing his “Blue Steel”, or trying to seduce the camerperson.

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*Yeah, I’ve been known to do this.  My advice is…DON’T.

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*Actually,  my chances of getting that home loan would better with the dog. Dogs seem to like me unconditionally, but people…

Me too

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I dare you to do any of this in church, especially  #1, and #3. I would go to church just to see this. (Yes, you do have  to make the dinosaur noises.)

12 ways to make Christmas Mass more fun

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*Just thought I’d add this important PSA about how to write about hickeys.

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

minementis:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

thaliaai:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

i always know when a fic writer has never experienced a hickey

How? It’s not like you’ve experienced one either.

“[Character A] licked and nibbled [Character B]’s collarbone, leaving dark purple spots along the way.”

either they’re tossing away the meaning of “nibbled” for the advancement of smut or they have a solid misunderstanding of hickeys. it takes like four or five straight seconds of hard suction to make a spot “dark purple”.

okay so two options here:

“[Character A] licked and nibbled [Character B]’s collarbone, leaving faint pink spots along the way.”

OR (and this one is better imo)

“[character A] sucked on the skin of [character B]’s collarbone harder than a vacuum on high power, leaving behind appropriately dark purple hickeys”

“[Character A] puckered their lips and absolutely Hoover™’d the life out of [Character B]’s entire neck. ‘You DirtDevil™’ [Character B] said with a breathy sigh.”

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*Only use this excuse in case of emergency. This is only for the most Advanced Introverts, like myself.

Weekly Tumblr Shenanigans

Well, its time for our favorite game show, Tumblr Hoopla, or things we’re making fun of on Tumblr this week. I hope this will lift at least a few of your Monday doldrums.

*The website Psych2Go is full of all these helpful little blurbs. I used to do this first one to my friends, but it probably wont work anymore, if they’re reading this. The second one used to work on my little brother until he got hip to  what I was doing.

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*This about sums up the Conservative Republican approach to women’s right to choose, I guess. They’re gonna force women to have kids nobody wants, and then let the kids starve to death, just like in the slums of Victorian England.

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*I still can’t quite pinpoint why this is so funny.
If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites.

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*Uhm-hm! If I have to see this on my dashboard, then everyone on WordPress should  be forced to look at this, too. Enjoy!
nabyss: “counterftnoire: “ antimana: “ karnythia: “ cakeandrevolution: “ khealywu: “ hotcommunist: “I saw these shoes last week and since that moment I have not know peace. My crops are failing, my animals are sick, snakes have manifested physically...

nabyss:

counterftnoire:

antimana:

karnythia:

cakeandrevolution:

khealywu:

hotcommunist:

I saw these shoes last week and since that moment I have not know peace. My crops are failing, my animals are sick, snakes have manifested physically in my home-

This is Trump’s America

If i had to see this with my own two eyes then so do the rest of you…

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

THAT is what the rest of the world pictures when they’re asked about America, I’m fucking sure of it.

My EYES ARE BLEEDING!!!

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*When I was a kid, I asked my Mom this question, about some scifi movie we were watching, and her answer was that we had left the planet. I will accept that as a perfectly legitimate answer to why there ain’t no PoC in that movie. That answer doesn’t seem to work for movies set in the past, tho’.

summerchasingmermaids:

kaylapocalypse:

kaylapocalypse:

kaylapocalypse:

Anyway, if the new Harry Potter movie that is set in NEW YORK IN THE 1920s doesn’t have any black people in it (like the trailer suggests) I am legit going to throw my Harry Potter books in the trash and never look back.

I don’t care whose fault it is. The casting directors, the producers, j.k. herself. I don’t care. That level of disrespect, historical revisionism via white supremacist fantasy is not to be tolerated.

The Jazz Age.

With no black people.

The JAZZ AGE.

Do they have ANY idea how creepy it is that every single fantasy is a world without brown people?

That every magical wondrous place they can imagine, a dominant feature is that we have been scrubbed from every corner?

And where did we go? We’re we driven out? Did they kill us all? When one type of person is overwhelmingly missing there is always a reason.

And what reason will small children of color make up in their heads to answer such a question?

What little cloud will enter their mental sky?

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*Go on Instagram and count how many of these photos show up before Xmas! We know Instagram gays are very clumsy people. I guess lesbians are a lot more graceful, so let them hang your  Xmas lights.

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*I’ve been reading a lot about how Baby Its Cold Outside is a date rape song, but guys! sometimes historical context has to be taken into account. Maybe its not an appropriate song for the modern world, but when it was written, it was pretty risque.

livinginthequestion:

bigbutterandeggman:

teachingwithcoffee:

It’s time to bring an end to the Rape Anthem Masquerading As Christmas Carol

Hi there! Former English nerd/teacher here. Also a big fan of jazz of the 30s and 40s.

So. Here’s the thing. Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely *sounds* like a rape anthem.

BUT! Let’s look closer!

“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.

See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.

Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so. She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.” And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.

So it’s not actually a song about rape – in fact it’s a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it’s also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It’s a song about a society where women aren’t allowed to say yes…which happens to mean it’s also a society where women don’t have a clear and unambiguous way to say no.

Best explanation of where this song came from I’ve heard, and it illustrates how much things have changed since then.

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  • I love chocolate cake but even I could only eat one piece of this. Yeah, this cake will be even more moist, after you’ve upchucked the whole thing, into your local toilet bowl. 

For more funny posts click HERE!

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*Yeah, that’s definitely Uncle Darryl! Eats  three plates of food, takes an extra two plates home, didn’t even bring chips.
For more funny posts click HERE!

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*The soothing, delightful sounds of: Songs of the Cosmos, by five time Grammy watcher, Neil D.

With partially lovable hits like: 

Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Milky Way

I Left my Heart in the Cabrini System

Fly Me to the Moon

Starman

The Spiders from Mars (Ziggy Left Some Time Ago)

Goodbye Yellow Dwarf Star

And many, many, (too damn many) more

Introvert Linkage

Here’s a roundup of posts and articles about being an introvert. I foind most of these to be hilarious, and for the most part kind of true about how I think, most especially about people.

There’s  also a  the idea that the Myers Briggs personality tests are  a bunch of bunk’em but I’m okay with that. Even if these personality assessments aren’t any more real than horoscopes, its still a lot of fun, and I enjoyed reading these articles.

General Introversion: I found a lot more articles about genral introversion than articles specific to women. Keep in mind that most of these are probably written to the standard of White males,  because female introverts are so rare, and most people who study this sort of thing, use White men as the default.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/intj-learning-style

How Not To Be Hated By An INTJ

http://www.intjvision.com/

http://personalitygrowth.com/an-in-depth-look-behind-the-intj-stare/

 

On Women Introverts: It was a lot easier this time finding posts and articles about female introverts this time.

http://livingunabridged.com/31-realities-life-intj-woman/

http://www.quietrev.com/introverted-black-girl/

http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/05/the-angry-black-introvert/

https://oddblackgirl.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-black-introvert.html

http://www.gradientlair.com/post/30536301997/the-black-introvert-struggle

https://getpocket.com/a/read/1096932327

https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/INTJ-women-A-rare-Myers-Briggs-Category

http://introvertdear.com/news/what-its-like-being-an-intj-woman/

http://www.intjvision.com/intj-female/

Oh, and here’s a link to a page full of links:

http://www.candiddiversions.com/2014/05/life-as-intj-woman.html

 

On Black Introverts: It was hard finding posts on this topic, that weren’t racially insulting, so I just left those out. I’m not surprised to find that most of them were on Yahoo Answers. I don’t fuck with Yahoo as a source for anything other than my email, as it’s quite possibly one of the most racist, and least informative, of all the search engines. It’s like Fox News for the internet.

http://verysmartbrothas.com/on-successfully-navigating-life-as-a-black-male-introvert/

http://black-introvert-confessions.tumblr.com/

 

 

 

Black Tumblr Comedy

 Time for some Tumblr Silliness. The first one may be hard to read, but its worth the effort.

Just like Black Twitter, when Black Tumblr gets going it cannot be stopped. This had me laughing for hours. Who mamma ain’t never said any of this?

I’m definitely Grownblr, though!

I feel like 30+ black tumblr should be referred to as Grownblr

dynastylnoire:

adventure-animaniac:

dynastylnoire:

kwesii:

thesweetishthuggishbone:

melinatedwinter:

thesweetishthuggishbone:

dynastylnoire:

abbiehollowdays:

dynastylnoire:

theshortchickwiththefro:

dynastylnoire:

note-a-bear:

dynastylnoire:

meanmisscharles:

dynastylnoire:

squeezemetillipop:

dynastylnoire:

curlykitchen:

dynastylnoire:

lchupanibre:

isleswoman:

dynastylnoire:

Cause we are

GROWNBLRUK+

what do you call that weird gap where people are 26-29?

Almost Grownblr

^^^

18-25 you ain’t Grownblr

-18 Get off that phoneblr

I can’t even pronounce that

Cause you be on that phone

Talking to their lil’ friendsblr.

You need to do them dishesblr

Take that chicken out the fridgeblr

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Take out the trashblr 😭

BRING ME MY REMOTEBLR

Take that bass out your voiceblr!

(Actin’ like you pay billsblr)

You can’t have no companyblr

YA’LL NEED TO LEAVE US ALONE!!!

MAYBE IF YOU REMEMBERED YOUR SCHOOLWORK LIKE THEM DAMN SONGS YOU WOULD’NT BE IN SUMMER SCHOOLblr.

well damnblr

Where was 30+ black grownblr on Election day 🤔🤔🤔??

Voting Did you youngblr? What are you trying to say ? Like???

Originally posted by n-wordbelike

This made me laugh. Can y’all just be my family like fr fr

Yep! You are now Adoptedblr

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

reblogged text post dynastylnoire 11th November 2016 November 11th 2016from the q continuum
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* In the immortal words of Wanda from In Living Color:
Uhm-hm! Fo’ real do’ Hey!
trans-fred-luo:

white people are mad Mark Hamill said called Trump’s cabinet “a who’s who of despicable people”, vowing to never watch Star Wars again and all of that noise but like… Did you really think the man who played Luke Skywalker was going to be ok with a fascist government I’m just wondering

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*It’s the chicken comment that got me though!

Anonymous asked:

Where the fuck are the right-wing “support the troops” people when black veterans are treated like shit and murdered by police?

prochoice-or-gtfo answered:

Probably yelling “all lives matter” while waving confederate flags and eating flavorless chicken breasts

-Kyoung

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*This is the kind of thing I would do if I could just Darth Vader “force choke” a b***h!
strawberrymilkygalaxy:

“what if sam is hydra”

what if i reached across time and space to slap your soul right out of your body

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This is from Raw Story. You kinda have to read the whole thing to realize why people on Twitter were on their A game about this.
#BreitbartCereals (Twitter)

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/11/honey-bunches-of-a-holes-internet-eviscerates-rightwing-boycott-of-kelloggs-with-breitbartcereals/

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Oh, I have to throw in a bit of Introvert humor:

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I feel like this is a good life hack, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Image result for sarcasm

Forthcoming Movies 2017

This is a  somewhat premature list of the movies I’m most interested in  next year. Unfortunately, Black Panther isn’t coming out next year, so it’s not on this list ,although Star Wars 8 is being released, so that’s cool.

My big thing next year is the new Wolverine movie titled Logan. I love the trailer for this movie, and I enjoyed the Old man Logan series. I’m also a big fan of Wolverine’s kids, Daken and X-23, so this movie is a big yes for me, even though I don’t think Daken is in it because he is very openly gay, and the MCU is as allergic to gay representation,  as it is to positive Asian representation.

My second big yippee! is Luc Besson’s Valerian. I’ve seen every one  of Besson’s films since La Femme Nikita in 1990, and if you haven’t seen that, you need to get right on it, as it still holds up as a female lead action movie. Valerian looks like its going to be too much fun.

January

Hidden Figures –

I like the idea of telling Black stories that don’t involve us being tortured by White people. Also, I love Black women in Science.

A Monster Calls –

I probably won’t go see this because just the trailer brought me to tears. I’m going to be a blubbering mess in a theater.

Underworld: Blood Wars

I think everything that would’ve been said about Selene’s story was told in the first movie. I have completely lost any interest in this character.

Monster Trucks

I think this movie is supposed to be fun, but the monster in the truck just looks terrifying.

X3: Xander Cage –

The XXX movies are very possibly the funniest, most ridiculous stunt movies ever made. It’s hard not believe this  isn’t a parody.

Resident Evil: The FInal Chapter –

Hmmmmm! No!

I had no particular plans to see any of these movies in January, but I thought I’d list them just in case any of you were interested and I was trying to look fair by showing the trailers.

Psych! I’m not seeing any of these until they’re officially on DVD, approximately five days after their release.

February

Rings –

A mashup of Ju-On and The Ring

John Wick II –

This looks as much fun as the original.

The Great Wall –

Nope! Its got dragons in it but I really don’t feel like looking at Matt Damon’s face again so soon after I’ve  watched Jason Bourne.

Get Out – This looks hilarious in a Dave Chappelle kind of way.

Of these five movies, I only plan to see Get Out, which is a movie produced and directed by the creators of Key& Peele.  I love that show, so I’m highly interested in the movie.

I loved the first John Wick, and I wasn’t expecting to. I thought it would be a typical, middle-of-the-road, action flick, but it turned out to be okay, and more than a little fun. Keanu Reeves is playing a character that perfectly suits him.

I wouldn’t piss on that Great Wall movie if you paid me. I’m getting a little tired of Hollywood not letting Asians be the stars of their own stories, and quite frankly its starting to look more than a little  creepy that that’s what Hollywood is doing, even to people who don’t normally pay attention to that kind of stuff.

I’m going to ignore the existence of Rings. Just the thought of it is scary. We really don’t need a mashup of Ju-On and The Ring. Well, I don’t, but if you like that sort of thing,  Happy Screaming to You!

March

Logan –

I love this trailer. Johnny Cash songs get me every time.

Kong of Skull Island –

I wouldn’t normally care about this except Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Hiddleston are back together again, and it looks like it takes place entirely on the island, and that Kong appears to be winning.

Beauty and the Beast –

I’ll just stick with the animated version, mostly for the music. “Be Our Guest” is one of my favorite Disney songs ,of all time, so there’s nothing this movie could offer me that would top that entire sequence.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – ?

Power Rangers –

Back down memory lane, y’all! I used to watch this  ridiculous show with my little sisters. This looks waaay better than the TV show. I may take my niece to see this if she’s amenable.

Ghost in the Shell –

A big ol’ fat NO! I’ll just watch the original anime. The trailer doesn’t make me want to see this, and I’m  really tired of looking at Scarlett Johansen.

The standout movie for this month will be Logan.

April

Fast 8 – I’m only just getting into this franchise. I kinda liked the last two movies, and its got a very colorful cast, who all seem to like each other and get along well.

Lost City of Z – I read this book some time ago, and I’m a sucker for movies set in Jungles. I don’t know why.

May

The Autopsy of Jane Doe –

Looks intriguing. I won’t see it in the  theater but I will wait for the DVD.

Guardians of the Galaxy II –

My niece will definitely talk me into going to see this movie, so I really don’t have a choice about this, if I want to have peace in the house. (And I love Groot too, so…)

Pirates of the Caribbean #23 –

Whah?

Baywatch – Okay, I’ll bite. Why would I want to see this movie about a TV show that I loathed? Okay, other than the nice pecs?

June

Wonder Woman –

Naaw! I’m good.

The Mummy – But not that good, apparently. I could be talked into this one by a wayward relative.

World War Z II – Hey! I loved the books, but I like Brad Pitt, too. I can’t let him down. He needs me.

Kingsman II – I didn’t really enjoy the first film. I mostly tolerated it and parts of it were disturbing, and annoying. The creators are going to have to smarten this one up, or dumb it down, to get me to watch this.

So once again we’re getting almost nothing but sequels and remakes being released this summer.  I don’t actually  get as upset over this as some people, as I’ve enjoyed, and will enjoy, a number of sequels. I’m just making a note of this.

Also, I don’t plan to see everything that gets released, so I don’t get frustrated about that sort of stuff. As I mentioned earlier, I’m on a limited budget when it comes to movies, so I carefull choose what movies I’ll be seeing well in advance. Going to the movies is never an  impulse event in our house, where we’re just looking for something to do on a Friday night.

July – None of the rest of these movies have trailers yet, so except for Valerian, I haven’t decided if I’ll see them.

Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets – Looks like fun.

Spiderman:Homecoming – Hmmm…maybe. I like the little guy whose playing him and Zendaya is in it, although I have since heard she’s not playing Mary Jane. I need to see a trailer before I commit.

War for the Planet of the Apes – I haven’t watched any of the others movies, so I’m not gonna start with this one.

The Dark Tower –  Well, duh! I’ve got to support my precious cinnamon bun, Idris Elba.

August

Alien Covenant – No trailer, no commitment.

CHiPS – I remember watching the Hell out of this  TV show as a child. Even then, it was  obvious, that the motorcycles were the stars of the show. I remember othing at all about the human cast, but I think there was a woman in there somewhere, though.

This is by no means a complete list. I”ll have more though, as more trailers are released.

On Tumblr

 *On a lighter note, heres a lot of silly shit that ended up in my Tumblr feed. Be sure to scroll down to the Church’s Chicken protesters.

*First up, any posts in praise of my precious cinnamon bun, John Boyega, and by attachment, Finn, is always going to give me a happy.

Why Finn is the Best Character in Star Wars: The Force Awakens

*The through line under this heading is that you could disagree but you’d be wrong. I am in full agreement with that statement.

Also, this person goes in depth on analyzing Finn’s fighting style. 

Finn’s lightsaber form?

force-2187:

I’ve been wondering about what type of combat form Finn would employ as a Jedi.

We know he’s very adept at a blaster, so I imagine Finn would a damn pro at deflecting blaster bolts back to their source. Like, that would be his signature move. So, for defence, I see him using Shien. In fact, I firmly believe that Finn holds his lightsaber in the reverse grip a la Galen Marek.

As for offensive … Finn’s style is quite aggressive and determined. We can see he puts a lot of strength behind his attacks, he only lacks the proper training. Like the times he put in hits, they were quite powerful and had a great effect (impaling Stormtrooper; slashing Ren’s shoulder). He just has trouble defending himself in lightsaber fights, so Shien would help him a lot there. I see him using Djem So, giving out attacks with brute strength. He even uses the Falling Avalancheattack while fighting Kylo Ren:

According to the wikiThe characteristic Djem So attack was dubbed the “Falling Avalanche,”[9]an overhand power blow that crashed down upon an opponent with exceptional force.

In fact, when Kylo dodges this, Finn falls over from the sheer strength of his attack. That alone shows us the brute power he has, whether that’s Force enhanced or not.

Here is Finn attempting a strong jab at FN-2199, singlehandedly. Finn has a certain grace with the lightsaber weapon. While he has not mastered it yet, nor is he exactly comfortable with it (it’s much lighter than the baton he is used to), it’s evident that he is confident with it. The lightsaber is not an ill-fitting or uncomfortable weapon in his hand. There is no doubt in my mind that he is Force Sensitive.

Finn uses the Falling Avalanche again, with considerable success:

image

Another similarity between Finn and Anakin’s styles is that both seek to gain distance between their opponent, and then go to land the first powerful strike to put them off-balance. Anakin does this by kicking his opponent away and then advancing, while Finn moves away himself after parrying attacks, assesses his opponent, and then runs towards them to land a blow. Now that I think of it, Finn would be a Master at Djem So!

Because Finn is so firmly on the Light Side and is obviously hard to seduce to the Dark (I mean, years of brainwashing couldn’t) it’s safe to assume he has a lot of self control. I believe that after intense training, and mastery of the Force, Finn would be amazing at Vaapad. His style already is aggressive and powerful, and he has a lot of self-reflection and empathy skills, so I can imagine him easily accepting and understanding the Darkness of his opponent and conducting it to feed his own power. Finn has his own Darkness, as we see in his rage-fuelled fight in the forest, but he can control it and won’t fall to the Dark as easily.

I think Finn will become a very powerful Jedi. I don’t care if he lost all his fights in TFA. Luke did, too, before he became one of the most powerful Jedi ever. The only reason people underestimate Finn now is because they’ve seen Rey defeat Kylo, when Rey has had to fight with her staff (same weight as lightsaber) all the time while growing up, and uses the same techniques with the lightsaber as well. I definitely think she’ll use either Niman or Juyo, and you’ll have to prise double-bladed lightsaber Rey out of my cold, dead hands. Besides, Rey has a clear parallel with Obi-Wan in his fight with Darth Maul: after their loved one has been struck down, they fight the bad guy as revenge and in anger and win. However, Finn has parallels with Luke and Anakin: he loses his first fight against the primary antagonist, who actually works under a bigger antagonist, but still shows exceptional skill. There is a strong Finn/Luke parallel in TFA/ESB. This also leads me to believe that it will be Finn vs. Kylo Ren in the final battle, and then Rey vs. Snoke.

What do y’all think?

(you guys seemed interested, so I’m taggin you: @anhamirak @kyloandfinnren @boyega-john@luminousfinn @errrbodylovesfinn @spacefinns )

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* How you gonna tell someone that honoring or celebrating their culture is divisive? You can try it, but the next time you see me, I’m going to be wearing an Afro, one of those Black Power hair picks, a daishiki over a Black Lives Matter t-shirt, and a red black and green headband, with matching coffee mug. I’m gonna be the blackest Black person you have ever seen.

As soon as the word “Divisive” flies out of a white person’s mouth my brain goes into hybernation mode. Nothing they can say after that is valid and shit before that will be rendered invalid.

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*For some reason, this parody of racism in fandom just gave me the giggles, for the rest of the day. “White demon” definitely reminds me of Hannibal Lecter.

A black character: * has those grey morals white people are always nutting over, has Deep Issues and enough Tiny Expressions to fill a book*

the yts: :/ wow he’s :/ he’s really toxic and violent, isn’t he? i :/ i’m very uncomfortable with how he raised his voice to my pure, white angel uwu

A white demon: *is an actual demon, kills people, blinked once*

the yts: !! this ! he’s so pure! did you see how he blinked ? ohmygod give this man an oscar already! look at how his eyes closed for one second and opened the next!! do you know!! do you know what that means!!

Source:

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*On the other hand, The Ascension can only occur anyway after the release of The Black Panther movie, in 2018, so the hell with Han Solo, cuz Black people won’t be here for it.

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The people on Tumblr love to parody  Benedict Cumberbatch’s name. I know its wrong to mock  someone’s  name but I can’t help it. Some of these names are so ridiculous, you can’t help but laugh. I’ve even found an entire website with nothing but name parodies for Mr. Cumberbatch:

I’m pretty sure his name is pronounced Benadryl Combustible

i’m pretty sure they mean Benzene Carbonmonoxide

Benedict Cucumberbitch

Bumbershoot Crumblebread

Bicycle Crashandfall

Bettyboop cabbagepatch

Burgerking Custardbath

bentdick cumberbumble

Bendydirt cumberbutt

Battletoad Pimplerash

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*Well, this makes perfect sense.

helimir:

I think the reason why Tolkien keeps referring to “the bow of Legolas” and “the voice of Legolas” and “the arrows of Legolas” is that he doesn’t want to write “Legolas’s”

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*I would say this is an accurate definition. Well, obviously we don’t need a Black Widow movie, if ScarJo can just keep stealing roles from WoC. What’s she gonna do next? Foxxy Brown? 

attentiondonor:

white feminism is scarlett johansson being offended by misogynistic interview questions, but staying silent when depriving an asian american actress’ opportunity to play a Japanese character.

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*The next time someone comes in your mentions arguing about the Historical accuracy of some Fantasy film, just think of this post, and have a good laugh.

copperbadge: “ hansbekhart: “ astronema-princess-of-all-evil: “ atlas-pt: “ southernsideofme: “ Historical footage of the last T-Rex serving his country in WWl. ” But isn’t that a Jeep? And the T-Rex is holding a…Browning M2? Which wasn’t used until...

Source: southernsideofme

Historical footage of the last T-Rex serving his country in WWl.

But isn’t that a Jeep? And the T-Rex is holding a…Browning M2? Which wasn’t used until 1933…

So I think this footage is actually of WW2.

I’m living for this historical accuracy

Historical accuracy is so important you guys

I agree that it’s WWII, because aside from the Browning and the Jeep, that’s much too small to be one of the last true T-Rexes, which were definitively wiped out in the battle of the Somme.

It’s probably a Nanuqsaurus Hoglundi – they’re similar but smaller so it’s easy to make the mistake. N. Hoglundi, known to soldiers as Hogs, were used for light artillery up through 1954, when PETA (Paleontologists for the Ethical Treatment of Anachronisms, no relation) got on the military’s case about it. The last Hog to serve in the military died in the Brookfield Zoo in something like 1979, I think?

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*Who put this on the internet? And why?
nobigotzone: “ It made me laugh. ”

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*I’ve actually done some of these things. That coffee cup thing actually works. People think you’re a responsible grownup with a job and everything.

unpretty:

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

  • bought a really nice looking fountain pen
  • that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard
    • this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do
    • it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen
    • i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know
    • it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it
    • i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories
    • holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure
    • i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)
    • i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa
    • i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity
      • bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit
      • extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else
      • i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus
      • “That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”
      • bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better
      • i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation
      • no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out
      • when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious
      • at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best
      Source: unpretty

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      *True fax!

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  • And general good news as The Queen, The Goddess, Michelle Yeoh, gets picked up for the new Star Trek TV show, and Pacific Rim has a fairly large Chinese cast, headed by a Black dude, John Boyega. I’m just giving my money away next 

‘Pacific Rim 2’ adds Chinese action star Zhang Jin to its roster

Pacific Rim: Maelstrom, starring Star Wars’ John Boyega, has added another actor to the cast list, rounding out a fairly sizable Chinese cast.

*Michelle Yeoh will appear in ‘Star Trek: Discovery,’ according to producer

Mannequin Challenge

I don’t know if any of you have seen these, but they’re hella fun. Just the latest thing Black millennials are doing (sure to be appropriated by  White teenagers at some point), so enjoy this while its still fresh and hot.

First some background info:

 

This one is my personal favorite:

 

Even the Queen Bey got in on it:

 

 

I thought this one was a lot of fun, too:

 

And the Best from  Various sports teams:

The Final Girls (2015)

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

Normally, I plan my Horror movie reviews,  for October, well in advance of Halloween, but this one surprised me. I’d never heard of it until a few days ago. I originally confused this movie with another movie about serial killers, with the same title, called Final Girl, which was released the same year. Final Girl is also a comedy but the two movies are very different.

The Final Girls is a rather broad parody of serial killer movies from the eighties, with all their various tropes, specifically the  Friday the 13th movies, and  the movie Sleepaway Camp. There’s also some elements of the Scream  movies. Some modern day teenagers get trapped in an eighties horror movie and have to try to survive to the end of it. To that end, they use their knowledge of horror movies, in general ,and the specific horror movie they’ve landed in, to try to navigate their way through the movie. Nothing goes as planned.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

About 25 years ago, Max’s actress mother, Amanda, starred in a horror movie called Camp Bloodbath, and can’t seem to live it down, as she’s having difficulty finding other roles. After one such audition, Max and Amanda are involved in a car crash and Amanda’s mother dies. Three years later, Max is still grieving for her, but has some new friends, and a crush on a guy named Chris.

All of them get invited to a special screening of her mother’s old movie and its new sequel, Camp Bloodbath II. When the theater catches fire, Max, Chris, her best friend Gertie, a bitchy girl named Vicki, and Gertie’s stepbrother, Duncan,  try to escape the fire by tearing their way through the movie screen, only to find themselves stuck in the movie. Duncan is an expert on serial killer movies and Camp Bloodbath specifically. One of the funniest moments is them sitting by the side of the road, trying to figure out where they are, and if they are indeed, in a movie.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

In a moment of prime surreality, Max meets her actress mother, years before she became her Mom, as the nice girl stereotype named Nancy. Max spends the rest of the movie trying  to save Amanda’s life, even though on some level she knows these aren’t real people. Its a bittersweet moment, as you can tell that seeing her mother alive and well again is having a real effect on Max. She tries to advise and guide her without telling her that she’s Amanda’s  unborn daughter.

The Camp counselors consist of the usual throwaway characters including a randy horndog, named Kurt, who everyone thinks is disgusting, except for the girls in the Bloodbath movie. There’s Tina, the camp sexpot, and the actual Final Girl of Camp Bloodbath, Paula. The Black guy of course, is killed almost immediately. Since one of the rules of serial killer movies is that whoever has sex dies, the  modern crew spend most of the movie trying to keep what characters they can from having sex. After Duncan gets killed, they learn that their own lives are fodder for the killer, named Billy.

Billy is played as a straight killer, in the mold of Jason rather than Freddie, with much the same backstory.  We learn this when the modern day teens get caught in a flashback, within the movie, in the movie (and believe they’ve gone colorblind.) Billy  doesn’t crack jokes, or cackle menacingly. He’s actually pretty terrifying, really, which just makes the movie funnier, as no one takes him as seriously as they should with Duncan deciding he wants a selfie with him.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

One of the funniest moments, for me, is when they put Tina in restraints, kitchen mitts, and extra clothing to keep her from having sex or taking her clothes off. Tina, who is best classified as a very dim bulb, doesn’t understand any of it. Bless her heart! At one point, Vicki tries to explain  that her cellphone is actually a  phone, and Tina just laughs at her.

When Paula gets killed, they decide to take matters into their own hands. Without Paula to be the Final Girl,  they elect Max as the only virgin. Her job is to kill Billy just like in the original film. Killing Billy is probably the only way they can escape the movie. So they lure Billy to the camp by using Tina as bait, by allowing her to take off her clothes, and booby trapping the entire house. During Billy’s siege of the camp, most of the other characters get killed. Only Chris, Nancy and Max escape, and Chris is wounded, when Billy kidnaps Nancy.

Max is desperate to save Nancy and goes after her . She manages to free Nancy but is wounded in the attempt. In order for there to be a Final Girl, one of the girls must die, though. Nancy sacrifices herself but not before Max confesses to her that she is the movie counterpart to her late mother. Now, as the Final Girl, Max has the superpowers to defeat Billy. After killing him with his own machete, she wakes up in the hospital to find all her friends are alive again, but unfortunately, they are all now  stuck in the sequel.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

I had a lot of fun watching this movie. I loved the dialogue, the sight gags, all of it. I especially liked the character’s relationships with each other. Normally these types of movies are full of people you are hoping will be killed, but with the exception of Kurt, who is kinda “rapey”, and thereby disgusting, most of them are sweet, but not too bright. Even the modern characters, while snarky, are not actually mean, and some of them even make fun of which stereotypes they are, with Vicki making cracks about being the “mean girl”. I laughed the hardest at some of the throwaway lines the modern teens lobbed at the movie teens, who were too dim to understand.

I especially liked Max’s relationship with Nancy. The two of them spend some amount of time bonding, and you can see all of Max’s grief and longing, when she talks to Nancy, while  trying not to reveal who she is.  Nancy asks her, a couple of times, why she cares about her so much, and Max stutters to come up with a reason for why she’s attached herself to this girl. I like that the women aren’t just sexy floor lamps. They affect the plot as much as they can, considering their circumstances, and manage to contribute a lot of one-liners to the discussion. The movie teens have no idea how funny they are. They play it completely straight, while the modern teens are deliberately snarky, because they can’t believe the situation they’re in.

 

There are several girls in the movie and they all  talk to each other, support each other when they can, and are largely non-judgmental about one another. For example, no one considers Tina’s cat-in-heat behavior, to be at all remarkable. They just take it in stride that she’s gonna try to hump anything that moves, and/or take her clothes off. They try to stop that because it attracts Billy, not because they judge her as being bad.

Image result for THE FINAL GIRLS

The modern teens are surprisingly intelligent, and some of the funniest moments is watching them come up with a plans to defeat the movie they’re trapped in, but it doesn’t matter because, according to the laws of teen killer movies, there can be only one survivor, so everyone keeps having horrible accidents, as the movie attempts to correct itself.

This strongly reminded me of the movie Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, as it has much of the same kind of silly, slapstick humor.  The kind of humor that’s  not predicated on people being bitchy or unlikable. As an example, I give you Grizzly Park, which is a movie about a bear, hunting and killing teenagers, at a summer camp. The people in that movie, are quite possibly some of the most unlikable characters I’ve ever watched  in a movie, and at some point, I wished all of them would hurry up and be mauled by the bear, so the movie could end. I watched that movie with my Mom, an old veteran of these kinds of movies, and even she cheered for the bear.

Image result for grizzly park

And it was very refreshing to watch a movie made in 2015, where you care about the people being killed. Ordinarily, the killer seems to be the focus of any  movies made after Scream, and you root for  him, or the people he’s killing are so annoying that you pray for their deaths. And its also quite a contrast to movies made in the 80’s, where the teens seemed to like each other. Teens were annoying in the movies back then, and the movies were deeply sexist, but the teens weren’t bad people, and I didn’t spend the movie wishing for them to die.

Since I saw this on a family oriented network, I can assume its mostly safe for teens, but not for little kids under a certain age maybe, as there is a certain amount of gore, language, and sexual situations.

This movie was a surprise like for me, as I wasn’t expecting it to be so good, and I’m adding it to my comedy/ horror list, along with Tucker and Dale, Shaun of the Dead , and The Addam’s Family.

The Blerdy Report

Black+Nerdy=Blerdy!!! Black Nerds Unite

Dave Chrisp Comedy

Same Shit, different Dave

The Peanut Gallery

or, a supposedly clever thing I really wish I'd thought of earlier

AfroSapiophile

Intelligent Black Thought.

spokenblackgirl.wordpress.com/

Mental Health & Black Womanhood

UNRAVELING THE KNOT

ALLAN G. JOHNSON'S BLOG

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500 words a day on whatever I want

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