Zombeavers – Zombie Beavers
Yep ! That’s it. These are actuall f*cking beavers that have been zombified.
I regret ever having watched this movie. My mom watched it first ,and told me how stupid it was, but apparently, I did not learn anything from her little mini-review, and felt the need to check it out for myself. I should have simply believed her. The plot is exactly what you think it is. To be fair though, this movie wasn’t really that bad, once you know what to expect from it, and had some pretty effective, though stupid, scares.
Sentient Wang/Killer Condom – Killer Penis
Why? Why did I subject myself to this movie? Although an even better question is what possessed someone to make this film? And I, very obviously, need to have my television removed late at night. Perhaps there’s some sort of off switch, that will not allow the TV to be watched between the hours of midnight and 7AM?
Okay, this movie was still funny as hell!
I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle – Motorcycle
Now to be fair, I have not yet watched this movie. I’m not sure I will ever watch this, because it just looks so bad. I came across this little gem while researching bad movies on Youtube, and of course, YouTube delivered, because that’s where it is, right now. So, Imma just put this here, and you can decide for yourself if this is something you want to spend ninety minutes of your life on, if you got that kind of time.
Killer Shopping Cart – Film Short
I remember watching this a few years ago ,and it is a surprisingly effective movie, considering the silliness of its premise. I know many of us, who own nice cars, certainly think of shopping carts as a menace, just not this kind of menace.
The Host – ????
Yeah, I talked about this movie before, and I’m still not sure what kind of fish monstrosity is featured. This is still a really good film though, and you should check it out, if you haven’t already. Yes, the monster looks silly, and the family dynamics in the movie are heartbreakingly funny, but its still a frightening movie, with just enough gore and suspense, and a rather bittersweet ending.. This is one of Bong Joon Ho’s films, ( the director of Parasite), so it has a lot of nice little criticisms layered into the plot.
Splinter – Alien Parasite
There are a lot of unanswered questions in this movie. We don’t ever find out, for example where the Splinter parasite came from, whether its an earthly organism or not. But we do get a surprising amount of backstory on the characters, and learn who they are, by how they respond to the dire situation, of being stuck in a gas station that’s being menaced by some thing that wants to take over their bodies. This is actually a pretty scary movie, with a very effective monster, that was created through practical effects.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space – Yeah
I still fail to see how someone, anyone, can look at these creatures, and mistake them for real clowns. If you didn’t have “clourophbia” before watching this movie….
Actually, this is a pretty good movie, with some decent special effects, and scares.
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977) – All of these titles are pretty on the nose when it comes to describing these monsters.
Yeah..just…I’m not even!
Shake this off. Just Etch-A-Sketch it right out of your mind!
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman – Snowballs
I caught my mom watching this one idle Saturday afternnon. Since then I ahve been a great pains to see that she is busy on Saturdays. I would like to find the person who made this utterly ridiculous movie, and bop them several times with a rolled up newspaper. And then of course, follow that up with some singular bops for the actors, and film crew.
Bad Director! Bad crew! Bad!
The Stuff – Edible White Goop
I…could not finish this movie, because it is so incredibly disgusting, I felt sick watching this.
My first question regarding movies like this though, is why do old, white men, who find some shit on the ground, insist on sticking their fingers in whatever it is? And this guy goes one step further and sticks it in his MOUTH!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!!
That really should have showed me the kind of movie I’m dealing with, because the movie just got worse and worse.