Several months ago I asked readers who classified on the MBTI scale as Introverts to write me and let me know what some of their experiences were, most especially their experiences in the Black community. A week or so ago I got a response from DJ, who reached out ot let me know what it’s like for him as an Introverted Black man.
Earlier, I spoke about some of my experiences as an introvert who is Black and female. I know a lot about what it was like for me as a woman, about how White people behave when you act like an introvert vs. how Black people behave, and all of that while navigating everyone’s racial expectations and stereotypes.
Most of what he says struck a chord for me, especially the idea of wearing various masks in order to fit into whatever environment you’re navigating.
I was curious about the number of black people who were INTJ . It was difficult to find anything on black men and even more so on women .
As an INTJ black man I always assumed I was different ever since I was young . So I developed a “mask” I learned and I watched and kept my true self away from everyone because of certain circumstances . I learned what I needed to fit in , survive , and eventually move on to the next stage in life . I learned how to act and what not to do from the mistakes of others . In a sense it allows me to make plans and move accordingly as you said when we have planned something we feel secure and content . Leaving things open to fate as you know can bring about unwanted results . It even extends to my career choice . Critical thinking is involved in both my fields . INTJs I think can seem impatient because of how fast we think and the fact the general person is fairly annoying . I myself have yet to meet any other black people who fit the same category . I also find it funny cause several of my friends have accused me of world domination.
My story is my much longer , but on of the biggest things I fine about us is out ability to see further than anyone else . Which is why so many of us end up in powerful positions and have large ambitions . And generally we are more aware of our own flaws than anyone else and don’t get me started on relationships . Especially in this current time its almost impossible for an INTJ to find someone to fit their image or doesn’t annoy them .
I also found with the proper guidance , an INTJ can be a will strong force of good in the world but if not it can be a disaster .
I hope to hear back from you ,
And my response (unedited):
Thanks for contacting me.
Tbh, you’re the only person to write to me on the subject. I’m not an expert on this. I just have some knowledge based on my own experiences, and some reading, because there really is precious little out there about African American INTJs and how they experience the world.
The experiences you talked about have been mine too. I learned how to behave in whatever environments I was in by putting on various masks, and imitating others. For example, when I was in elementary school, I kept being told that I spoke differently from everyone else. Realizing I wasn’t speaking as naturally as others, I learned how to add slang and idioms to my conversations, to make me sound more casual, and blend in better. This was a conscious plan, on my part, which I never mentioned to anyone, as I don’t think anyone would have understood it, but it worked.
I do tend to take what I like to call “the long view”, both into the past and the future, especially when it comes to exterior things like politics. This is another thing that’s hard to explain to people, especially when they’re confused about why you’re not upset or worried about certain world events, as much as they are.
The ability to plan, and maneuver, ahead of an event, and the comfort and self assurance from knowing that your plans are correct, can often look a lot like arrogance, or “being stuck-up” to a lot of people. Has that been your experience? I got called stuck-up a lot when I was young, but really, I was just confident in my planning. (To some people this planning can also make it seem as if you’re just extremely lucky.)
I think this sort of thinking can work out great when you’re a guy, but I think people find this level of calculation, especially in a woman, to be disturbing, as I’ve gotten very hostile reactions (mostly from women) over the years, whereas most guys just think it’s a delightful personality quirk, (probably because I’m not using my superpower for evil).
As far as I know its just something that’s extremely rare, and I’m pretty much settled on being a minority, within a minority, within a minority.
I also sent Dj a few links:
And from Medium.com:
INTJ Women — You Are Not Alone by Evelyn Bertrand
Strong. Brilliant. Powerful. Intimidating. Masculine. Driven.
Cold. Bitchy. Uncaring. Standoffish. Disinterested. Detached.
These are two sets of words that describe INTJ women, also known as Alpha women. I say Alpha women because I really don’t see a difference between the personality traits that are attributed to both “types of women.”
From Reddit, about a year ago: