Tumblr Funnies

*Tumblr is great for story prompts about alien contact, and hair dye:

lady-of-greenwood:

patternofdefiance:

just-a-kind-of-magic:

Imagine being a human in an alien crew in space and leaving with bright blue or pink hair and the color fades and everybody on board wonders WHY you are losing your colors??? Is it the lack of greens? Are you sad? Angry? They just don’t know??

“Human-Kelly may we have a moment of your time?”

Kelly pauses in her inventorying of the photo-synth plates she’ll be installing after today’s cycle ends. “It’s just Kelly, hellot-Halzar, you don’t have to acknowledge my species every time we talk.” She smiles. “That’s not considered rude for us.”

“Very well hu—Kelly. Erm. May we have a moment of your time?” Many eyes blink earnestly at her.

“Sure. What’s up?”

hellot-Halzar considers. “May we discuss the structural nature of the ship interior and gravity-derived reference values at a later date? At this moment we would like to inquire as to the nature of your corporeal change.”

“Yeah sure—wait my what?”

“There is a mess hall wager.”

“About my –?”

“Concerning your strands,” hellot-Halzar says, gesturing.

“My….hair.” Kelly runs a hand through it. It’s purple as of two ship days ago. “Ok?”

“We wish to know whether the colour change signifies mood, nutritional intake variance, or ….erm….whether your mating season status has changed.”

“My mating season status, huh?” Kelly lifts an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“Did Jerry put you up to this?”

“Human-Jerry refused to answer our questions about your strands, citing some phenomenon known to your homeworld as ‘famine in missed eek’.”

Kelly snorted. “Tell Jerry he can shove his archaic ideas about ‘feminine mystique’ where M-series stars don’t shine. As for your bet: sorry, it’s none of the above. I changed my hair because my last box of dye was about to expire and because I felt like it.”

hellot-Halzar considers. “chinret-Zer wins then, by technicality: that reason falls within acceptable parameters for ‘mood’.”

“I suppose it does.” Kelly pauses. “Who bet on the ‘mating season’ one?”

“Hmm?” hellot-Halzar had already turned to go and deliver the verdict. They turn one set of eyes back. “Oh that would be Drannuc. He said he smelled a difference in you.”

“Delightful,” Kelly says, instead of explaining menstruation and how that can affect mood, diet, and that technically it correlates to what most of the species on the ship would consider a mating season.
“Next time, instead of betting, maybe just ask questions? And not Jerry. He’s a jerk.”

“Reclassifying human-Jerry as jerk-Jerry. We will approach you with all human queries from now on,” hellot-Halzar says and then continues on their way.

Probably for the best, she thinks with a lopsided grin, and then continues sorting the photo-synth plates to install on her space walk tomorrow.

“Reclassifying human-Jerry as jerk-Jerry”

Pure. There is no other word.

Source: just-a-kind-of-magic

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*Tumblr is great for story prompts about ghostly roommates:

tygermama:

agwitow:

just-shower-thoughts:

If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it’s unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.

It just became second nature to close all the cupboards first thing in the morning (even though they’d been closed the night before). Which was when things escalated from banging cupboard doors to actually breaking things.

Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.

“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”

The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.

“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”

The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.

A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.

A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.

“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”

The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.

It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror

Have A gooD dy

Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)

You R out of MLK

And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.

Dear Occupente,

I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.

I am bord. Lonly.

I am sorrY 4 breaking things.

We be frends?

Syncerly Eloise

I love you, Eloise

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*I feel like this may be  Paul Ryan’s life goal:

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*Dog refuses to stay on pillow, is about how I’d describe the people in my life right now. Annoying but lovable inconveniences:

IF YOUR DOG SLEEPS WITH YOU THEN YOU UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE

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*Someone needs to invent this:

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*This pretty much sums up America’s politics at this time, yeah:

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*Other than just a general reason to be happy, I’m posting this here, because some troll in the comments, got his ass handed to him, when he stated that these weren’t the best actors.

wisdomandlogicareking:

Angela Basset: Academy Award nominee and Golden Globe winner, with enough award nominations/wins to necessitate her own wikipedia page for awards alone.
Lupita Nyong’o: Academy Award winner.
Chadwick Boseman: Joseph Jefferson Award nominee; already showed his stripes as Black Panther in Captain America: Civil War.
Sterling K. Brown: Emmy Award Winner for The People Vs. OJ Simpson and actor in the Golden Globe nominated television show This Is Us
Florence Kasumba: Already had a bit part in Captain America: Civil War; was praised by many critics for her one scene being a scene-stealer
Forest Whitaker:  Academy Award for Best Actor
African-American Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
BAFTA Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role
BET Award for Best Actor
Black Reel Award for Best Actor
Boston Society of Film Critics Award for Best Actor
Broadcast Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
Chicago Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
Dallas–Fort Worth Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
Florida Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actor
Golden Globe Award for Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Hollywood Film Award for Actor of the Year
Kansas City Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actor
Las Vegas Film Critics Society Award for Best Actor
London Film Critics’ Circle Award for Actor of the Year
Los Angeles Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actor in a Motion Picture
National Board of Review Award for Best Actor
National Society of Film Critics Award for Best Actor
New York Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actor
Online Film Critics Society Award for Best Actor
Phoenix Film Critics Society Award for Best Actor
Satellite Award for Best Actor – Motion Picture
Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
Southeastern Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
Vancouver Film Critics Circle Award for Best Actor
Washington D.C. Area Film Critics Association for Best Actor
Nominated – BIFA Award for Best Performance by an Actor in a British Independent Film
Nominated – Toronto Film Critics Association Award for Best Actor
2nd Place – Awards Circuit Community Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role

^ that’s all from a single movie.
Danai Gurira: Tony-award winning writer, plays Michonne on The Walking Dead, one of the most popular series out there today
Michael J. Jordan: Featured actor in popular shows like Friday Night Lights, The Wire, and Parenthood in addition to frequent appearances on film.
Daniel Kaluuya: The star of Get Out, which currently boasts a 99% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and has been in the press pretty much constantly upon release.  He was also featured in an episode of the acclaimed series Black Mirror.
John Kani: An actor, playwright and director; while he hasn’t had as much work in America, he’s prolific enough to have a theatre in Newtown Johannesberg named after him.

Winston Duke and Letitia Wright have fewer credits to their names (the former has a consistent role in the well-received Person of Interest; the latter has been cast in Black Panther and Ready Player One in what is hopefully the beginnings of a bright career), but I don’t mean to belittle their successes by leaving them out, and those who aren’t as well known SHOULD be given a chance by big franchises.  Lesser known names tend to get big after starring in Marvel movies.  I sure as hell didn’t know who Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth were prior to their flagship titles.

But even putting aside how important it is that this film is led by black creators, just because you don’t know these people doesn’t mean that they’re not critically acclaimed in their field, who haven’t put in the work.  They have, and they’ve been recognized for it.  Consider checking out some of their work before you decide whether or not only two of them are great actors.

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blckrapunzel

I sure your feelings are hurt and you’re a little confused by a movie that’s not made with several boxes of assorted crackers and a token black guy 😂😂😂😂😂

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cloama

1. I love this post and seeing this person get flamed and have their activity page all fucked up because of it makes me so happy. 2. This is where non-black people misunderstand anti-black microagression. This person was willing to trade their sense of logic just to shit on Black people because to them, it’s worth it. That’s a big part of how y’all talk about us. Watch yourself.3. That person forgot that every black actor in Hollywood has to have twice as much classical training and work…

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problematticusfinch

Hm, gee, I wonder which 2 are meant as the great actors. Which two…. which two stand out for the person hung up on the small number of white people… hmmm…..

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Imagine being that racist that you think only white actors can be awesome…Imagine being that racist that you look at the black ones and just go “who?” despite their loooooong list of accomplishments and popularity…

Imagine being so racist, that people are excited for a cast of actors, and you are just itching to tell them not to be excited because the cast happens to be black (and you dont like that)….but a white cast, sure you can be excited.

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@wisdomandlogicareking

I never heard of Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, or Chris Evans before their debut in a Marvel film…But unlike some cocks on here, I am not so self centered as to believe that MY personal history of viewing an actor dictates whom is good or not….I also bet similar racists (ppl like wisdomandlogicareking) never said shit about the announced cast of relatively unknown actors of Thor or Cap America, or future films like wtf is the new guy playing young Han Solo?…but just gotta put their two cents in on Black Panther…..because “reason

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*Oh, and introducing the Land of Introverts!

 

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