Tumblr Gothic

And here are more of the continuing adventures of the new Target Sales Associate:
karnythia isitis

Day Seventeen

targetretales:

-A small girl was thrilled to discover that she was tall enough to reach over the counter and hand me her money. She gleefully shouted, “I’m high enough! I’m high enough!” and I have never been so proud of someone half my height.

-An elderly man bought deodorant called Swagger. I am glad that he knows how important swag is in the modern era and scents himself accordingly.

-I stepped away from my register for a moment to move some hangers. Rather than wait at my register, a pair of guests followed me around, watching me from a safe distance, before finally returning to the counter once I did. I do not know what they were hoping to gain from their check-out lane safari, but I do respect the efforts they went through to try to avoid me noticing them. They were in vain, but I respect them.

-A small boy hid underneath the counter, shouting out phrases like “I love Target!” and “Target is the best!” repeatedly, for five straight minutes, with no signs of a motive or a desire to stop. I am not unconvinced that we hired a ten year old as a propaganda machine.

-A girl sat in the cart as her mother tried to choose a brand of gum for her. “That one,” the girl would declare. “This one?” the mother would ask. “No, that one,” the girl would respond. This back-and-forth went on without change until the mother had gone through every package of gum that we had. Neither flinched, changed inflection, or showed any sign of consciousness of what they were doing. This is by far one of my most surreal moments yet.

-As I left the bathroom, I noticed a stereotypical business man doing unstereotypical things. By this, of course, I mean he was scrubbing his left foot with a paper towel. As one does between board meetings at a retail establishment.

-An older woman accosted a young woman I was ringing up, demanding to know where she got each article of her clothing from. Most of it was Walmart. The elder one inspected each piece of clothing individually. All the while, the small child with the older woman was spinning around, exposing his nipples to all within range.

-A newborn child gave me the single most distrustful look in history. I do not know whether she could sense that I was out of stickers or if I had wronged this baby in a past life, but the infant was having none of me.

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finnnorgana davidalleynes

davidalleynes:

other blogs: “this blog is a NO ship hate blog!!! I’ll ship anything and if i don’t, i don’t judge people based on their ships!!!”
me: “y’all motherfuckers better get that nasty racist, homophobic, abusive, pedo shit away from me before i whip out the holy water and the crucifix and start exorcising the devil out your asses.”

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I found a bunch of these Gothic posts on Tumblr. I like them for that creepy, funny feel they have. Haven’t we all been in some perfectly normalized place and felt the essential creepiness of it?I also like the idea that almost any situation can be turned into a horror movie.
crave-that-mineral

Fanfiction gothic

  • You wait for an update on your favorite fic. You wait a week, a month, a year. You wait forever. The author never updates.
  • You tell your friend about a fic you loved. A few days later they tell you they couldn’t find it. You look it up yourself. You can’t find it. You can’t find the author. “They must have deleted their account,” you tell yourself. You can’t remember.
  • You have already left kudos here. 🙂” You have no recollection of having read this fic before.
  • Your favorite writer starts a new fic. It gets progressively darker with every update. The last chapter is just a string of random letters and numbers. You want to ask if the writer is okay. You don’t dare to.
  • AO3 doesn’t work again. It didn’t work yesterday. It didn’t work last week. Has it ever worked?
  • Your friend starts writing a fanfic about you. “It’s just a joke,” they tell you. You go check it out. It’s a complete work with a major character death warning. “It’s just a joke,” you remind yourself. You refuse to read the last chapter.
i’m having way too much fun with thesefanfiction gothicregional gothicregional gothic memefanfic gothicfanfictionfanficwritingmy writingmine
I thought this one was especially funny:
genrenommer

MCU Gothic

There is a big new announcement. There is a huge new announcement. There is a terrifyingly large new announcement.

Marvel has posted a new teaser video. It appears to be 1:36 of static and incoherent screaming. It already has over a thousand comments.

Sebastian Stan has extended his contract. It extends to death. It does not specify whose.

Six new Chrises have announced starring roles in upcoming pictures. There is a rumor swirling around that soon they will have enough. Enough for what, no one is sure.

Everyone is smiling extra brightly for the press tour. They seem to be blinking an awful lot. You think it looks like Morse Code, but that cannot be right. Why would they be asking for help?

There is finally more Black Widow merchandise. The merchandise consists soley of boxes filled with spiders.

Joss Whedon is discovered wandering the backlot, clutching a bloody knife. “I just need people to realize that no character is safe,” he insists.

Chris Evans hasn’t been seen in months, yet new gifsets of him keep appearing. They are all posted from the same account, which has no other activity.

There have been even more delays surrounding Ant-Man. Something does not want the film to be seen.

RDJ’s clothes all seem to be coming from some parallel universe, even more so than usual. Your favorite is the tuxedo with Lisa Frank lapels and an unsettling usage of paisley.

gothic fandom gothic mcu horror mcu gothic
This one references Steve, the King of the Maine gothic novel:
bottlecapmermaid

Maine gothic

because King shouldn’t get to have all the fun

  • The lobsters scream when you put them in the pot. You tell yourself it’s just the steam escaping the shells. Their eyes are clear when you put them on the plates. You pretend not to see, and suck the meat out of their little crunchy legs.
  • There are tracks in the fresh snow across your lawn. Even though Uncle Robin taught you tracks before you could make tracks of your own, you don’t recognize these.
  • Everyone at the farmer’s market knows your name. You have never been to this farmer’s market. The potatoes have too many eyes, and they watch you walk by.
  • You never thought you’d hope it’s only a moose outside at night.
  • Giffords announces new flavors! Coffee Mint Moose Tracks (a new spin on your old favorite,) Heath Bar Beaver Den, Bloody Bear Tracks… it’s raspberry swirl, we promise.
  • People don’t go near the barn on the old Michaud place, even though it’s been abandoned for years. Something about it being condemned, and not by the government.
  • Something keeps bobbing up in the bay, bright red. It’s too big to be a buoy. No one’s claimed it.
  • The trees on Schoodic are shifting. We haven’t had a stiff breeze for days.
  • You can’t read the name of that new fishing boat. Everyone tells you something different when you ask.
  • The painted tracks to the UMaine stadium are red. Weird, they’ve been blue for decades. You haven’t heard anything about a hockey game tonight either.
  • I-95 just keeps going. And going. And going. It’s getting dark. What mile marker are we at again?
  • It hasn’t gone above zero in a month. The wind and snow get through the windows and under the door, even though you had the house winterproofed in the fall. You don’t remember what it’s like to be warm, even next to the wood stove. You don’t recall lighting it, now you think on it.
  • The blackflies are thick as fog. They are in your eyes, in your ears, your mouth, your nose. You feel faint from blood loss. They are under your clothes.
maine gothic new england gothic american gothic regional gothic [insert fishmen joke here]I haven’t seen a maine gothic post yet so here I’ll make my own fun goddammitI’ll probably do another of these this was super fun to writealso I’m from maine let’s just leave that disclaimer here HERE U GO TUMBLR ENJOY
dantesaristotles

tumblr gothic

  • you scroll down your dashboard. people are talking about the new update. it has not affected you yet, and you are warned of it. it will come. it will grab you by the throat and seize you and spit you back out. it will kill you.
  • a new meme appears on your dashboard. you do not know where it came from or how it began. everybody seems to be reblogging this meme. you do not, and voices thrum in your ears, compelling you to reblog it.
  • you are following someone, and you are unsure as to why. curious, you look at their blog and find nothing of interest, nothing that points you to one of your friends being this strange blogger. you have always been following this blog. you cannot unfollow this blog.
  • tumblr changes daily. you cannot recognize your dashboard anymore. everything changes, even the people you are following. 
try to stop me??? mythaelogy location gothic gothic meme tumblr gothic

tumblr fandom gothic

Your post is now about Supernatural. Your post has always been about Supernatural. You have never seen Supernatural and you can name every single character on the show, all three of them.

You are 187 chapters into this fic. You have been reading continually since you began. Youmust find out what happens next.

you see a drawing on your dash. it’s a conventionally attractive blond man doing sexual things with a conventionally attractive brown-haired man. you have no idea what pairing it is. it is every pairing. it is no pairing at all.

  • The gifs of the new trailer come out before the new trailer does. People shush you when you question this. You cannot ask questions about the space-time continuum.
    • There is a new coffee shop au for your ship. It is exactly like every other coffee shop au for your ship. It is exactly like every other coffee shop au for every ship. You begin to suspect there has always only ever been one coffee shop au.
    • You dare not say the true name of Binkydonk Cucumbershoots. Demon names have too much power.
    • The Supernatural fans have a gif for everything. They cannot be stopped by mortal means.
    • You begin reading a fic at four in the afternoon. When you next look up it is nearly dawn, and you don’t know what day it is.
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Forest Gothic

Instructions for a walk in the woods
  • Never turn around to check behind you. You’ll see nothing, but once you start doing it you won’t be able to stop, and an ominous feeling will follow you until you don’t lock your house’s door behind you.
  • If you stand very still and listen you will hear the woods calling for you. Don’t answer. Never answer.
  • You’ll hear things quietly following you, hidden in the trees by your sides. It’s okay, they’re just checking on you.
  • Don’t be scared, but be really, really wary.
  • If you have a bad feeling about taking a certain path, don’t. You’ll avoid whatever is waiting for you at the end of it.
  • You never know what may be buried under the soil you’re walking on. Remember that every time you take a step. Pray that whatever it is, it won’t wake up.
  • Be careful not to step on any beetle, or you’ll never get rid of them.
  • If you bring a knife with you, name it. Otherwise the blade will turn against you as soon as you try to use it.
  • Make sure you remember the way back home. As soon as you get lost, you’re just another piece of fresh meat.
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