The Cookout

With the July 4th weekend coming up, some of my White friends might be invited to a cookout. If you are lucky enough to have Black friends who trust you enough not to act a fool around their fam, then here are the rules and regulations:

Roland’s Cookout Rules

05/27/2011 8:42 PM

To everyone, have a great Memorial Day weekend. And give thanks to the troops who have given their lives for this country. Now its time for Roland’s Cookout Rules, don’t get it twisted …

If you are having burgers & hot dogs, we are NOT showing up. That’s a cookout for kids; not grown folks! #Rolandscookoutrules

If you are having portabella mushrooms on the grill, I’m cussing your azz out & leaving. That’s a fake cookout! #Rolandscookoutrules

<Finish here!>



As interracial dating, integration, and cross-cultural friendships increase, many people find themselves attending events in which they are the minority, and have no frame of reference from which to base their etiquette. In an effort to help bridge the cultural gaps we all have to traverse at some point, I have created a few rules for all my Caucasian friends who might find themselves at a black cookout.

<Read here:>



6 thoughts on “The Cookout

  1. Hilarious! I laughed especially hard at these:
    – “Except Uncle Jerome, who is saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost.”
    – “If you hear the Weekend, 2 Chainz, or Fetty Wap, you’re pretty safe. That means the kids are around, and everything’s cool.”
    – “They’re arguing about whether Rakim was better than Tupac, while Uncle Jerome is talking about Kool Moe Dee being the G.O.A.T. Shit is getting sketchy. You better get ready, because it’s going to jump off soon.”

    Why is the gospel hour the scariest though lol. Are people catching the Holy Ghost? “We fall down, but we get up …” XDDD


    1. Potato salad jokes always catch me up!
      “If you have not been assigned the potato salad, or learned the recipe from a certified potato salad maker, don’t bring it. ”

      Plus, that first one about mushrooms. “We leavin!”

      Liked by 1 person

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